February 19, 2009

The Laundry Fairy


I was very young when I learned about the laundry fairy.

Whenever my sweet twelve-year-old self would ask my mom what she did all day while I was at school, she would count to ten and say through gritted teeth, "Who do you think washes your clothes...the laundry fairy?"

As a result, I've grown up looking for evidence that the laundry fairy has paid me a visit.

Yesterday, I found it.

Specifically, my massive laundry pile was half as tall as usual. Upon closer examination, I realized that the missing clothes belonged to my three older children. I clapped my hands with excitement over the fact that someone other than myself had to make hard decisions about the fate of skid marked underpants.

I was too busy celebrating my unexpected good fortune to notice that Cortlen was wearing the same outfit as he did the day before. Kellen's stiff pink shirt sleeve forced me to take off my rose-colored glasses.

"That shirt has a giant fruit punch stain on its sleeve," I pointed out at breakfast.

"It's all I have!" he yelled.

After rolling my eyes a sufficient number of times to let everyone know what I thought of his excuse, I stomped upstairs (sighing loudly the whole way) to have a look for myself.

"Have you been putting dirty clothes back in your drawer?" I asked my sons, pointing to the filthy contents of their dresser.

Stupid questions require stupid answers.

"I don't know," Kellen replied.

Needless to say, my belief in the laundry fairy has been shaken.


P.S. Do you how hard it is to find a picture of a non-trampy fairy on the Internet? Since when do fairies wear pasties and g-strings?!

33 comments

Peggy said...

Funny you should post this today! If you find that damned fairy...send her MY way!! :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/yowsamouse/3292937912/

Anonymous said...

thats great. my 9 year old (yes 9 YEARS OLD!!!!) does the same thing. it drives me crazy. your not alone!

Charlotte said...

I believe in the laundry fairy. She comes and steals the mates to socks. She puts clean clothes directly back into the the laundry hamper. She hides piles of clothes until after I put the last load in. And she makes me forget that last load of towels in the washing machine every week. I hate that fairy.

Lisa said...

Yup, my 9 year old does it too. I am not as bright as you though cuz sometimes it takes me a few days for the light bulb to click on....The worst is that the outfit she wears needs to be burned, not washed!

Anonymous said...

i LOVE your blog. i have found my soulmama. your perspective reminds me to laugh at the ridiculousness that goes on in my own house on a minute by minute basis. gotta love natural consequences. tell your kids to keep up the good work.haha

Anonymous said...

How about when you do a week's or morelike 10 days of laundry for the kids and there are only 3 underpants in the entire mountain of clothes. My boys are 9, 6, & 3.
That is so gross. Not to mention what it says about me a mother.

My boys now have to shower everymorning, that way I can somewhat hope they put on clean underwear and not the old ones left on the floor by the toliet.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

This begs the question: why do we even DO laundry? If they don't care, WHY are we washing? Time to surrender ourselves to the old addage (sorry if I spelled that wrong): Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. See, it didn't say anything about washing it.

And yes, google images can be dangerous.

Annette Lyon said...

Wait--they were putting them back in their drawers? That's progress. My kids dump the clean and dirty clothes on the floor and put things on w/out knowing if they're clean or dirty. Drawers and hangers? What are they?

Liz said...

Ha...seriously! I too have the 9yr. old that does it... so apparently once they learn this it never goes away!

Completely agree with Charlotte.. although I know it's NOT the fairy.. it's my children!

The whole waiting until you've completely finished washing clothes (although threats have been made SEVERAL times) then they bring down the "dirty" clothes.. which most are still folded from when you washed them last week.. just still in the hamper with dirty clothes piled on top!

If it touched my daughter's body for 3 seconds (long enough for her to figure out she rather wear something else) it's dirty in her mind! No matter how many weeks it sat on her floor.. or how many other dirty clothes it touched.. If I know she hasn't worn it.. I fold it and back to her room it goes!

Laundry SUCKS!!

Holly said...

There is a laundry detergent out there called "Fairy". That's marketing genius.

I hate the laundry so much I let my husband do it. And he doesn't mind as long as I fold it.

THEN comes the Nazi babysitting until every. last. piece. is put away.

Angie said...

I was hoping your husband became the laundry fairy... Ha Ha Ha! Love your blog- look forward to checking it!

Malea said...

Whenever my son looks in his drawers to see a stack of undies and socks, he exclaims "Jackpot!"

Renny said...

Remember Tinkerbell in the Disney version of Peter Pan? She was pretty trampy. I have a hard enough time putting my clean laundry away right now, and I'm just doing laundry for myself. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have children.

Anonymous said...

We made a bedroom, into our 1st floor laundry room. All the clothes get washed there, changed there and stored there. So if it is outside of the laundry room it, I assume is garbage and you are ready to part with it. If it is a good item you must choose which charity the child will bring it into to and give up themselves. If it's not so great we donate it to the garbage man. The fairy however hasn't shown up here. Is it like Santa? Have I really been that bad?

Heather said...

They never grow out of it. My 24-year-old husband still does the "sniff test". As long as it doesn't smell like month-old dirty gym socks, he'll wear it again and again no matter how dirty of wrinkly it is.
Gotta love it.

flavoredmom said...

This is amazing! I was just about to creat the laundry fairy! No joke. I have the Tune Fairy, Candy Fairy, Chocolate Fairy, Shoe Fairy, Moon Fairy...none of them the least bit "trampy" (in my shop, www.msfancypaints.etsy.com) - and laundry fairy is on my list! I knew there was a connection when I subscribed to this blog - love it!

mindij said...

Hey, My laundry/dishes/ironing/cleaning fairy wears that stuff...oh wait...that's me but only for special occasions like Anniversaries, Birthdays...my fairy drinks in the morning so it's hit and miss with her....

CurlyQuinn said...

What a funny post! By the way, I am very aware that there are only half dressed fairies online. My daughter had a fairy birthday party last month and I couldn't believe all of the things I found!

The Eadle Family said...

lol, oh the laundry fairy. Wish she would pay me a visit to do the laundry, instead of stealing every frigging mate to every sock. UGH!

QT Pie Bowtique said...

That's the same thing my mother said when I was a kid!! If I do not do it it doesn't get done...God forbid someone at least START a load of laundry...sigh, I beed a fairy as well :)

Elizabeth said...

Our house today - "On your mark, get set, go!" children race to get dressed.
6 yr old returns in about 34 seconds fully dressed.
Mom "Did you change your underpants?"
boy "No"
Mom "Well, go back and put on clean ones!"
boy "Why?"

templework said...

From day one each of my children(10) had their own 'laundry basket' (usually a 13 gallon size brightly colored plastic waste basket)
It eliminated the hours of 'separating'! (I only bought wash'n'wear and non-runnable colors! They could do 'trendy/stylie' when they were old enough to know how to separate their own wash!)
Toddlers can be taught to help put away their own clean clothes AND put their dirty ones into their own baskets!

When a child is old enough to figure out how to work the TV/VCR/Game Console - they are definitely old enough to do their own laundry too!!!

Assign times/day that will work for their schedules and let them do it!

Been there and there is NO Laundry Fairy!!!

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

ah, yes. Our laundry fairy consistently puts clean clothes back in the dirty pile. If she bothers to pull them out from under the beds.
And, I discovered today, that one of my ten-year-olds was not even wearing a shirt underneath her sip-up sweatshirt when she got home from school. Perhaps she should have looked under the bed before the fairy got there? or in the dirty clothes basket? IT is an age old mystery, this laundry thing.

wannabee free said...

My mom got in trouble when my sister fell asleep in her 1st grade class. My mom had to explain to the teacher that my sister had been up late because she hadn't done her laundry. that teacher was livid. But hey, why not? You gotta learn sometime. How hard is it to throw clothes in, add soap and hit the button? My kids LOVE it! And they are 6, 4 and 2.

LeAnn said...

Two things I have found that helped me a lot with the Laundry Monster:
1) Everyone has their own color of towel that way I know who dropped it on the floor, who is using too many etc....
2) I typed up How to do Laundry instructions and taped it right next to the machines and then marked where to set the knobs with permanent marker.
Oh, and the underwear thing brings back memories of my son. I think they really do all try the same tricks!

Aunt MeMe/Mindy said...

PLEASE ask the Laundry Fairy what she uses on those dark skid marked underwear, please???

Cami said...

I think I definitely must be your oldest reader, because I learned LONG ago that when you leave home, the laundry fairy no longer exists! Two nights ago, I did every single bit of dirty laundry in the house. The next morning when I got up, there it was! Just as if I had never done it! I'm sure however that my children believe in the laundry fairy....wow, are they ever in for a surprise! (smug little smile...)

Nikki said...

Ah yes - The Laundry Fairy: Affectionately called Wanda Washer Woman and Best Friends with Dana Dishwasher! 2 of my very best friends...

Michal said...

i am notorious for doing the laundry, folding it, then keeping it in neat stacks in my bedroom waiting for a good time to put them away. this "good moment" generally doesn't come until my kids have nothing left to wear, or until those neat stacks are leaning towers threatening to undo all my work. and the last load of laundry? sure to stay in the dryer until i have a wet load that needs to take it's place. sigh.

Rocket Ma'am said...

OMG that is my life. I fired my laundry fairy. I think she was ready to quit over the skidmarks anyway (blech!!!)
Is is bad that when my husband deployed I was a little glad because it meant less to wash? Even when he's not here, we do 10 loads a week, minimum.

3 for school said...

Check out the tooth fairy. Thee is a tooth fairy site that is fairly responsible. I found it once. I have 3 kids that routinely wear the same clothes, including underwear, for days in a row. That in spite of repeatedly asking them. Two of them are 12 so I'm a little uncomfortable making them drop their drawers!

Jen said...

Too funny!!!! LOVE your blog!

Melody said...

Be careful what you say! When my youngest was about 4, while staring at my laundry pile that was almost as tall as I was I sarcastically said Oh I'm so happy that I have so much laundry to do! I just lovvvvvvvvvvvve doing laundry. Its my favorite thing in the whole wide world I just wish I had more laundry to do!

I stayed on the laundry all day and managed to get it done. The next afternoon, my daugther was all excited, and wanted me to follow her to her room so I could see what she did for me.

She had taken every item of clothing she and her middle sister owned, the sheets and comforters off their beds and made a big pile and poured juice all over them! And stood there so proudly and said Look Mommy, I made more laundry for you to do so you can have fun!

What do you do? Its what you asked for so you can't blame the kiddo.