February 19, 2009

Mean Mom Giveaway!!!

I know you're out there. You may be hiding in relative obscurity now, but I'm on a mission to find you and make you a) admit to what you are (a mean mom) and b) accept responsibility for your atrocious acts of villainy.

If you want to turn in a mean mom (I'm non-discriminatory...aunts, grannies, sisters, nannies, and hot male personal trainers are also eligible) or are compelled by honesty to turn yourself in, join the brand new Meanest Mom Group (a place where you can meet other moms who are equally, if not more mean than you are) at MomLogic.com.

Once you join (it's easy and spam-free), write a post that includes the offender’s name and a super short description of how this person is ruining the life of at least one child. Parents who routinely watch other people's kids for free, force their children to eat oatmeal on occasion, and have fixed bedtimes (hey? what's that?) are considered to be prime suspects and should be apprehended immediately.

In addition to receiving several e-lashings from me, the unlucky winner of this contest will be subjected to a truly horrendous form of corporeal punishment: she will be given a $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE to SalonWish.com (a new division of SpaFinder.com) and will be forced to endure a massage/facial/day of pampering at a fancy salon of her choosing.

Gross, I know.

Contest begins NOW and ends March 20, 2009.

Hurry! Get a conscience and turn yourself in today!

***It takes one to know one. My current sponsors are mean moms themselves.
If you are interested in sponsoring a future Mean Mom giveaway on this website, contact me here.***


likeschocolate said...

I just want to let you know that my almost 10 year old son said to me that he was going to write you and let you know that his mom was officially the meanest mom. He said this in response to me not letting him stay up longer with his hands attached to his DS 27/7 and I am sure for a list of other grievences against me. So you have been dethroned by my almost 10 year old.

likeschocolate said...

oops I meant 24/7. I guess I should read before I push the publish butten.

Jana said...

So cute!!! I love it!!! I feel so bad for your son...clearly he's suffering.

Nikki said...

Well: I don't know if I qualify but....

We run a very tight ship at this house. Everyone is up by 7 out the door by 8. Oldest sis is at school, boys are at preschool, I am at school. We all get home around 3. We walk in the door and first things first, shoes off, book bags on their assigned hangers, table for homework: NO afternoon snack. One movie and then dinner. After dinner we line up for teeth brushing and then it is straight to jammies (unless it is bath night) Story time - only 2 - and then lights out and everyone is asleep by 7:30! Then Mom stays up way late to eat Oreos, watch her favorite shows, and on a good night take a nice warm bath....occasionally doing homework. My husband says that this house is run a lot like the military and that I resemble a Drill Sargent. But hey - a mom has to do what a mom has to do.

But just in case you think I am crazy: Yesterday the entire family blew off all responsibility, went out to lunch at our favorite restaurant and splurged on dessert, and then took the kids to an indoor play place fully equipped with ball pits, arcade games, indoor putt-putt, and miles and miles of slides. It was great!

Even if I don't win, I so feel better for fessing up to my husbands accusations...;)

cb2manor said...

When my boys were younger (now 14 & 16), they shared a room with a door. Notice I said door...They were probably 9 & 12, they would fight in their room, try to slam the door on one or the other, bang on said door, slam said door, etc. After many, many, many times of telling them NOT to do that (the doors are hollow-core - not built to boy toughness!), I finally had had it...I calmly asked my husband to grab a flathead screwdriver & assist me...we proceeded to remove the hinges, took the door and stored it away...Voila...No more door for them to fight over. We told them the bunkbed would be next if they couldn't get along!


strickland party of six said...

I just want to congradulate you on your guilty as charged post I laughed so hard I so peeded my pants, and laughed evan harder when I saw you handed the man at mcdonalds a bogo coupon: AWESOME! So anyway my husband says I get this look in my eye like the Arnold Schwarzenegger in the "termanator" and he say it scares him: I also have attendacy to make him salute to me as well as the kids: ha suckers! Anyway I aslo have taken my kids birthday money and used it to buy things like food after all they eat most of it anyway! My son eats constantly I mean follows me around winning and complaing that he is surly going to die if he doesnt eat, mind you he just ate a hotdog, yogart, mayo sandwhich "YUCK I know" pudding and 5 nuggets an apple and a piece of chesse. So after I keep telling him he's NOT going to die to quite cring or I'm going to put my head in the tolet and flush: I tell him he has eatten us out of house and home all we have left is peanut butter "he is allergic" he say's I will die, and I said I know so go eat it! " I really would NEVER NEVER let him eat it just for the record!!! But it gets him to leave me alone on the food thing! I also have many storys that my husband could probably tell you by heart because everyday he reminds me how mean I am! But it is easy to forget when you are mean everyday!

ecuakim said...

I nominate my friend Jana, who has to put herself in "Timeout" regularly because she's so "mean." But she is the BEST Sunbeam teacher known to man and therefore deserves a day of bliss.

Anonymous said...

I certainly qualify--just ask my two year old! For the past 2 years I have been forcing her to take NAPS (like she was a baby or something).

Trust me, I'm so horrible, that she sits at the door saying, "Mean mom, Mean mom. Come back!"

I suppose the truly, truly horrific part is that the pleading doesn't even faze me.

jenn said...

I don't know if I qualify either, but my kids definitely think I'm the meanest mom around. I make them eat vegetables. GASP! My son used to take a speck of a bite of the offending vegetable in his mouth, and then gag and throw it back up. He would give a look with his little wet eyes and tell me he just couldn't do it. To which I said, put it in your mouth and chew, then swallow or to bed you go! Horrible, aren't I? He's not as bad now, but it takes him a good half hour or more to finish dinner. My daughter isn't nearly as bad thankfully.

purejoy said...

i joined, but it wasn't easy (had to switch browsers, and then all most allllll the way done with my profile and something happened and poof! it was gone. i'll edit later)
i have a 17 year old who is on her way off to college (not soon enough, lately) and i am the meanest (and most annoying, too!!) in the world. i have the AUDACITY to ask questions about her day, her life, her activities!. how DARE i?? and i have also been accused of TRYING TOO HARD!! (because of said questions.) i could adopt the indifferent approach (i have a close example to follow).
so yes. i make my kids do their own laundry (if it's not sorted in the laundry room). they have to clean their bedrooms, keep their bathroom tidy. and if i'm feeling REALLY mean, i'll ask them to get up off the couch and go to the street to get the mail. oh, after they take the mom-dagger from their neck. i'm pretty much a giant pain there, from what i'm told. teenagers. gotta love 'em. because whoelseintheworld would??

Anonymous said...

My teenageer thinks I am the meanest PERSON not just the mom lol. Lord forbid I make him put down his phone during dinner, or make him come out of his room to socialize with the rest of us mere mortals. My 5 year old DIVA thinks I rock. Well as long as I meet every one of her demands that is. Such as a never-ending supple of macaroni and cheese & no veggies, and a quarter for the dreaded candy machines BY THE DOORS of all the great stores. If I dont meet her demands? She has been known to let everyone know..(with ear splitting screams or jumping up and down, sometimes BOTH much to my JOY) that I am a MEAN MOM.
Daisy Wilson-

Anonymous said...

I would like to nominate my sister for recognition as a Mean Mom. As the aunt of her two precious children (ages 4 years and 2 years), I believe it is high time she was apprehended. Here are some of her (numerous) offenses:

* My nephew and niece are forced to consume nutritious food and beverages. The little darlings don't even know how to ask for a Coke or M&Ms, because they do not know of the existence of two major food groups: Caffeine and Chocolate.
* Both children are subjected to more books than television, and have even been heard requesting that the TV be turned off.
* They do not own a Playstation, Xbox, Wii, or Nintendo DS. The four year old does not have a cell phone.
* Both of these younglings are made to clean their rooms on a daily basis - even the two year old has to pick up her toys and return them to the basket.
* Both children sit at the dinner table, pray before meals, ask for napkins to wipe their faces and hands, and then politely ask, "May I be excused, please?" when they are finished with their meals and ready to leave the table.

Clearly my sister is beyond reason. No child should be subjected to such inhumane treatment. She absolutely MUST be stopped!

Unknown said...

I know you have more to worry about but really the fact that your comments # says 3 and you have a ton more is deceiving. If our self worth is built by number of comments, I really think yours should reflect how cool you really are.

I guess I have nothing really important to concern myself with besides your pots count. :)

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Anonymous said...

Let's see..
I have three boys close in age, currently they are 9 1/2, 10 but will be 11 April 9th, and 12 1/2 (almost)
How am I mean??
~ When they are home from school on a week long break, like now, they must read an age/grade level book and write me a one page summary of it, in complete sentences.
~ Over the summer I get these awesome 10wk workbooks for them to do along with other stories of where we went that day or what else we may have done.
~ I make them fold their own clothes and put them away.
~ They must brush their teeth 2xs a day.
~ They all must shower...using soap almost daily unless it is the summer and no, jumping in the pool doesn't count.
~ I am not mean in a way that I allow my oldest to have 2 snakes but I am mean beacuse I won't help him feed them.
~ I serve a veggie at every dinner and a fruit at every lunch.
~ We have family dinner where everyone must share about their day, not so mean, but they cannot add in a rude or snide comment about their brothers day no matter how much it hurts them to hold back those comments.

So, yeah I am a mean Mom.

scottsgal said...

I have to be the meanest mom - just last night I made my 14 year old turn off the XBox at 1 am and take him away from playing a group hockey game with his friends - GASP how mean can one be?

Christine said...

I enjoy being the meanest mom!! My kids are the only kids in the whole city who have to do chores. They are pretty sure we only had kids so we wouldnt have to do any work!

diesel51 said...

I was the meanest Mom hands down. Made my son take music lessons, team sports, hard courses and within reason he had to finish what he started. He couldn't take passengers when he started to drive for six whole months. He had to donate time to food drives and do tutoring. In case anyone wants to know how he turned out, well... He graduated from a military academy as an engineer and now serves his country.

guru said...

I still have a note that my oldest daughter wrote to me when she was 7 years old. (She is 27 now) The note said "I love you evan wen your men. your dater Niki" (I love you even when you are mean, your daughter Nike)
There it is. Physical proof that I am a mean mom.

Anonymous said...

I realized after I did this it was pretty mean, but after having my wonderful yet hormornal daughter stomping and yelling through the house in regards to unfair grounding from the phone, I was reaching a breaking point. Sadly, humor has always helped with my composure, so without even thinking I replied to her tantrum by picking up a glorious bottle of salad dressing and annonced in my proudest voice, " And the Drama Queen award goes to....." Of course she lost it and stomped off to her room! I don't blame her, I would if it was me. I feel horrible for that, but it did give me some quiet, for a bit.

Cristen said...

I am the meanest mom of all...

I MAKE my kids do their homework when we get home from work/sitter's house.

When we get home the homework is to begin. They can't turn the TV on until it is done includng the 20 minutes of reading. Can you believe my nerve?

On my daughter's 9th birthday this past October, we told our oldest daughter who is 9 we will paint her room green, IF she can keep her her floor clean for a month. Well, it is now February and the walls are still yellow. Horrible, horrible parents.

Holly said...

My five year old thinks I'm incredibly mean. He tells me that all the time. Just this morning, in fact, when I put a few of the toys he "forgot" to put away last night in Toy Jail. It's a box where his toys remain incarcerated until he can post bail (i.e.-extra chores, good behavior, or sometimes cold hard cash...okay not really with the cash, but that would be nice). After throwing the innocent toys in the slammer, their owner looked up at me in his typical tear filled way and said his catch phrase, "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HURTING MY FEELINGS!?"
...To which I, of course, responded with a very appropriate evil-sounding cackle, while simultaneously drumming my fingers together.

Mermaid said...

A MEAN MOM??? My 5 children have declared me INSANE and I take pride in that description of me. I will put myself on the pedestal of ridiucle and let others know I delight in torturing my children by "Giving a Crap"...I rejoice in taking The Whip of Love to demand my children do their homework correctly, that they are respectful towards their elders, and provide service without the sight of a dime laying across their blistered palms. I have laughed with my girlfriends when we wished we could eat our young after our teens have tried to stand up to our curfews that keep them from jail. Yes, I have purposely dragged my children to Maine so they could be force to eat lobster, fresh strawberries, and have homemade blueberry pancakes forced down their throats. I told them in no uncertain terms, would I let their tempertantrums keep me away from all their activitites...dance, scouts, sports, parent lunches, school parties, mall walkings, church, family meals, family prayer, skiing, boating, pets, and yes the ultimate embarrassment which i take glee in...kissing and hugging them and saying "I LOVE YOU". Yes...I am delighted to be a MEAN MOM and now thanks to unbearable and you-don't-understand discipline, I will viciously, dirtly, and smuggly unsurpress my role as a MEAN Granny...send the spoiled tadpoles home after I give them the hugs, kisses, and candy...their parents weren't denied. and when I pass they may laugh and say MOM sure was a character...but I will have died in insane, life is one big potential, mean-loving MOM.

Hannah said...

So I am truly horrid because I make my kids earn their video game time by doing chores and homework. There are many days they go with out playing which just seems so crule to them.

Anonymous said...

I won't let them watch tv or play video games all day on Saturday. I also won't let them eat alot of junk food and I make them go play outside. I also take the computer away if they don't mind. There room must be clean before they go to a friend's house too.

JD said...

I refused to let my son play in the snow and he's convinced I'm the meanest mom

jdmimi at gmail dot com

lorides said...

My 8 year old thinks I am the meanest for 2 reasons ( the most recent ones) I won't let her stay up until 1 am like Zoey's mom and I would'nt let her go see My Bloody Valentine like Joey's mom..

judyv12306 said...

After 22 years of torturing my oldest daughter, she has graduated college, gotten a well paying job and moved back home. So On her 22 birthday she got a card declaring that all her worldly possession would be on the front lawn on her 23 birthday.

Anonymous said...

I've been a mean mom to my three kids, two of whom are now productive members of society, and the youngest is well on his way. He turns 20 this week, so we've just about survived the teen years! (However,I'm kind of a soft touch with the grandchild..)

Erika said...

I would just like to submit my Feb. 24 post. I would cut and paste it but it is rather long and there are pictures so I am not sure if it would work in the comments. Let me know it you would rather I type it again.

Dana said...

I would not let my four year old wear a pink Dora ballcap to school today.

I make my 10 year diabetic son Take his insulin, brush his teeth, and comb his hair. Horrible I know.

I would not give in and read a story with my daughter after she threw a fit.

I actually make sure my son does his school work during the day (homeschooled)

bargaingirl said...

My daughter thinks I'm the "Meanest mom in the world" because when she gets in trouble, I tell her she's grounded from reading books (she's an avid reader). She asks why I can't just tell her she's grounded from TV like a normal mom.

Lara said...

My son thinks I'm the most perfect amazing mom in the world. Which is why I deserve to win.

The end.


Jess's Journey to the Land Of Skinny said...

I guess I could be called a mean mom cause most the time when my 4 year old whines to me and tells me something hurts(even when it really doesn't) I will tell her that my ears hurt from all her whining! If it gets really bad then I will have the whole family cry with her until she either stops or runs to her room so she can cry by herself! I also make her share her toys, say please and thank you and not let her sleep in our bed. I suck!

Shaina said...

My five-year-old's world revolves around sugar. He tries to negotiate with me. "Mom, don't worry about making dinner. I'll just have a cookie." or "Mom, I see that you still have some halloween candy hiding on top of the fridge. How 'bout we have some?" The other day, he came to me with chocolate smeared lips and said "Mom, I think Georgie (his little sister) got into the chocolate chips." After I punished him, and sent him to the corner, he yelled "Well how long do I have to stand here this time? 13 years?" Looks like he still has 12 years, 11 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days left of his punishment. Now that's mean.