February 2, 2009

The Pet Party

On Friday night at 6:01pm, my doorbell rang. I opened the door to find a pack of stray animals on my doorstep. Each was wearing a sparkly party dress and was carrying a wrapped present in one hand and a stuffed animal in the other. When the group of 8 saw me, they began to chant "Pet Party! Pet Party!" in unison.

I quickly closed the door before the animals could barge their way in. My five-turning-six-year-old daughter, however, felt sorry for the abandoned critters and let them all in when I wasn't looking.

It took the strays--my daughter now among them--exactly 2 minutes to complete the craft that was supposed to take 20. Much to my dismay, no one was interested in rolling out the clay dog tags that they had just made and making them again.

"Let's take your pretend pets to the vet!" I suggested, pointing to a table covered with an assortment of toy stethoscopes and medical supplies donated by my OB-GYN.


"Is that a pap smear swab?" asked the mother of one of the strays.

I assured the woman that the object that her daughter had just removed from a plastic wrapper and was shoving down the windpipe of a faux golden retriever was just an extra large Q-tip.

As the mom breathed a sigh of relief, I started to perspire. My husband was late returning with the pizza and some of the animals were beginning to claw at the refrigerator.

I needn't have worried so much because half of the pack turned out to be vegans who didn't eat meat or cheese products; the other half didn't like pizza.

"Do you have any chicken fingers?" asked a friendly Dashound.
I was informed that Captain Gorton's fish sticks would also be acceptable.

"This is a pet party," I reminded her. "All we have is dog food." I pointed to two plastic dog bowls on the counter that were filled respectively with bone-shaped graham crackers and Cocoa Puffs.

After throwing 8 slices of pizza into the trash, I led the party guests into the basement, where my neighbor was waiting with her competition show dog and the dog's agility course.




"Do you want..." Before my neighbor could finish her sentence, the pack dove headfirst into the dog tunnel.

My neighbor and I cheered the pets on. "Faster! Faster!" we screamed.
The mom who stayed to supervise her pet was thrilled when her daughter emerged from the tunnel covered in leaves and dog hair.

After all of the animals were exercised, I took them back upstairs for some cupcake tops and rainbow sherbet. One pet (who shall remain nameless) had a difficult time determining where the frosting ended and the birthday candles began.


"That's totally gross," I hissed when I ordered her to spit the candle stubs into a napkin.

Thankfully, all of the animal rescue groups came to retrieve their lost pets at the designated time. The mom who stayed for the party thanked me profusely for the plastic dog bowl that we handed out as party favors. She especially appreciated me suggesting to her daughter that the dish would make a nice cereal bowl.

After all the animals left, I was left with just my pet, who wanted to know why all of her friends couldn't spend the night after the party.

For once, the answer came easy. "I don't have enough crates, silly!"

18 comments

Steph said...

Very cute party--clever ideas to keep those little strays busy.

Psst...{whispering} you might not be the meanest mom after all...

Holly said...

I love it! This is SO much better than a Hannah Montana party.

And really, who WOULDN'T be more happy to have random dog's hair on their kid as long as they weren't touching a PAP smear kit (aka giant Qtip). I love smart moms.

Liz said...

Tee hee.. dog bowl party favors!! Love it.
Still wanted to see shots of a pooper-scooper race, but the garaged agility test is funny enough!

JenniferB said...

You are awesome -- I love the dog bowls -- I wonder if I can get my super girly-girl to want a pet party for her 8th? ;) Probably not, but I'll find a way to work in the dog bowls or my name isn't "meanest mom in training"!

April said...

pap smear swab! that's fantastic :-) LOL!

JHalmes said...

Hilarity! What makes it better to visualize is that it is a bunch of girls. Boys would LOVE it!

sticky said...

What a great idea! I bet a can get my kid to actually EAT cereal if I served it in a dog bowl...awesome!!!

The Eadle Family said...

Very cute party. lol. Too bad about the pizza. Who doesn't like pizza? lol

Crystal said...

Im sorry but I am LOL at the mom, who cares if it was a pap smear kit?? lol. Its not like it was used lmao. And who doesnt like pizza? seriously they need therapy.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I too am a horrible judge of timing for kid crafts. They always go way longer than they should when I'm in a hurry, and last like two minutes when I was hoping they would take 20 (ahem, sharing time). But your whole concept is very cute and I'm glad you survived.

Skubaliscious said...

I have one anti-pizza pet...it's very frustrating.

Such a great party idea! I'm sure they all had a blast.

Rachel said...

creative idea, love the dog bowls.

Morgan and Derek said...

When I started reading, I was worried for your sake that it WAS a sleep-over. Glad to see it wasn't. ;)

becca said...

LOL! sounds like a great party!

Anonymous said...

this is an awesome party plan! i hope i am as mean and cool as you

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Awesome. Truly awesome. I plan to copy that party. Love.it.

Nikki said...

I too giggled at the giant Q-tip. All it was missing was some of those "puppy pads" they use for house training...I've got a 7 turning 8 year old b-day coming up, wanna come help me plan?? ;)

Diane said...

I hate throwing birthday parties. They never turn out as planned.