Last night, I overheard a disturbing conversation coming from the bathroom where my five year-old son was taking a bath.
Just a minute," Kellen said. "I'm going to get you out of there."
I pulled back the shower curtain just as the last drops of a fifteen-ounce bottle of V05 made their way into the bathwater.
"Why would you do that?" I asked my son, pointing to the empty bottle.
"Because it told me to," replied the shampoo whisperer matter-of-factly.
The hair products in my house must be very persuasive in their pleas for assistance because my kids routinely go to great lengths--to the point of risking life and limb--to free the contents of newly purchased bottles of shampoo and conditioner from their cramped quarters. Over the weekend, a large bottle of Garnier Fructis was rescued from the top shelf of my bathroom closet in a death-defying feat that involved a Spiderman costume, three stacked step-stools, and a baseball bat. Before liberating the bottle's inhabitants and washing them down the drain, my son the freedom fighter took a moment to bask in the glory of his impressive accomplishment.
I interrupted the press conference with a firm warning.
"If you waste any more shampoo," I told him, "Then you are not going to be able to take a bath by yourself anymore. I'm going to have to sit in here and watch you."
After thinking about what I said for a few minutes, I regained perspective of the situation and changed my mind. After all, my ultimatum punished me way more than it did my son.