The other two rear ends belonged to my older kids' friends from school. Everyone had a friend over to play yesterday afternoon and two of our three guests felt it necessary to rechristen the throne during their visit.
I was in the middle of making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I heard someone calling my name.
I turned around to find a kindergartner standing in the middle of my kitchen; her pants were around her ankles.
"I don't know how to wipe," she said.
"Seriously?" I asked.
Friend # 2 waited until ten minutes before his mom picked him up before doing the deed. Before closing the bathroom door, he instructed me not to go far; he too was not an experienced wiper. I spent several minutes trying to coach the five year-old through the closed door, but ultimately was forced to break my way in after the boy announced that he had reassessed his needs. After mulling over his options, he had decided that he would just wait to wipe until he got home.
"Do you go number 2 at your friends' houses a lot?" I asked my children very casually at dinner.
Cortlen looked up from chicken and answered my question with his eyes.
"Doesn't everybody?" they said.
Are my kids (and my kids' friends) the only ones who seem to take great pleasure in going to the bathroom in other people's toilets?