March 13, 2009


It's Friday the 13th! To celebrate this wacky day, the Meanest Mom "swapped blogs" with the world's nicest mom, Courtney of C Jane Enjoy It. Courtney is everything that I'm not: classy, crafty, kind, and compassionate (plus we think that it's kind of funny that she has an angel on her header and I have a devil). I read Courtney's gorgeous prose to be inspired, to laugh, and, most of all, to be reminded how lucky I am to be a mom. Below is a little sampling of what the crazy famous C Jane does with words. Prepare to be amazed.

by Courtney "C Jane Enjoy It" Kendrick

Part One
I lied to my husband the other day. To his face, I let the lie roll off my tongue into his trust and care. One day later with my guilt—anchored in my stormy soul—I confessed to my little sister.

“I did something bad.” I said, looking out the window like it was some forecast into my grim future.

“What now?” She said, my statement bouncing off her ears. She’d heard that statement too many times from her foul older sister.

“I lied to my husband.”

“About what?”

“I ordered an enlarged canvas print of one of his photographs.”


“And he told me not to, because the resolution was so low it would look terrible. He said he’d reshoot, but it might be ten more years before he’d reshoot and I was really impatient. So I ordered it as is, even though they warned me it might look like pixilated puke. It should be delivered this week.”

“So you lied to him about ordering it?”

“Oh no, he knows I ordered it with the low resolution. I told him I was feeling lucky.

“So you lied about feeling lucky.”

“No, I lied when I told him it was twenty bucks. We’d only be out twenty bucks for a crappy canvas print. And because it was only twenty dollars, he wasn’t as disappointed that I indulged my impatience and stupidity all at once.”

“But it was really forty bucks?”


“Fifty bucks?”

“Eighty. I was really eighty bucks.”

Then my sister gazed out of the same window. As if she agreed. Indeed, that future does look a little gloomy.

Part Two

I forgot that my sister has a penchant for announcing my sins at inconvenient times in front of interested parties.

This time she did it by pretending to talk in code, which always attract/annoys people. Humans are bothered by codes which is why they seek to decode. I should’ve seen it coming.

“Dad, ask Courtney about the really INEXPENSIVE print she bought this week.” My sister, my clumsy confidant did this with my husband on the couch next to my dad.

Exhausted from the hiding the truth, I cut to the core and confessed to my spouse. But this time I used ample theatrics with those wet things that drip from the eyes.

“I am so pathetic! I am a liar and a sinner!” I wailed. Tears are always Plan B. A spontaneous back rub should be Plan B, but I am generally too tired.

“You’re cute.” He said, sorta sarcastically.

“And I’m out eighty bucks.” I sobbed.

(I play the role until all is safe.)

Part Three

The canvas came in the mail two days ago.

If you stand a couple feet away it looks sharp. When my husband came home and saw it hanging in the kitchen he was impressed.

“You were feeling lucky.” He winked.

Only, then I remembered that I wasn't really feeling lucky at the time. That was a lie too. After I ordered the print I went into my room, got on my knees and prayed for a miracle.

For more of Courtney and a post by me, head on over to C Jane Enjoy It.


Today (Friday the 13th) is the last day to vote for your favorite mommy blog! The race is super close. The Meanest Mom is neck-and-neck with several blogs for the lead and I need your help! If you haven't voted already but want to, please, please, please click HERE.

Thank you soo much! Every vote counts!


likeschocolate said...

I am laughing so hard that I am crying because that is me. I just tell my husband when he ask how much things cost you don't want to know and refuse to tell him. He is an economist if that tell you anything. However, I think the canvas is fantastic!

Helen said...

Love it! I hate it when my husband asks how much something cost, and I've made some not so wise (or in this case, lucky) purchases in my time.

Anonymous said...

Loved today's post! When I grow up I'd love to be able to write with as much wit and humor as you. ;) And when my husband asks how much something costs, I always round down...a lot.

Steph said...

Well, join the Not Telling Our Husbands the WHOLE Truth Club"! Isn't it funny how we think that will make things easier...

Thanks for swapping and sharing your story!

Laura said...

I love your post, & love your guilt (I can sooo relate!). I also love your introduction to the Meanest Mom I have another to add to my list...I may never get the laundry done with all of these great reads!!

An old friend of mine has a new blog...if anyone wants to give her a read:

(I'm not trying to offend w/ the plug for my friend's blog--please feel free to remove that part of the comment if you want. I don't have a blog, or I'd just plug her there! Thanks for understanding!)

Davis' said...

Awesome posts ladies! Jana I think you are hilarious! I really enjoyed your post. and cjane-awesome as ever. I love the canvas!

Patti said...

HA! Awesome post. Made me laugh out loud on this Friday the 13th.

~Mommy+Me~ said...

Both posts were really great! I especially like the one about the lady in the attendance office. I've been there too many times! Luckily my daughter is older so I don't have to walk her in, she just goes in and signs her name and gets a late pass. :) I struggle with getting out of the house on time too, I'm so not a morning person!

Camille said...

this is the first time I have read the meanest mom blog and I laughed, and laughed and laughed! Thanks for sharing Jana! The secretary at our school is named Patty and I understand your pain!!
Thanks for being you and sharing your adventures!
-Camille from Cali

Unknown said...

Jana, I truly enjoyed this post, but I have to admit I went to her blog to read yours and I was laughing so hard I really couldn't contain myself for a moment. Candy Posters are awesome things, and every school has a Lorraine you know?

Wilcox Family said...

That was funny, I was crying it was so Jana YOU have my vote because you invited my favorite blogger C Jane to yours and my name is Jana...and now that I have visited your could possibly be my other favorite! :) I hope you win!! :)


Jill said...

Jana-you have me laughing out loud! I loved your post and could picture the whole scene. Loved it.

Stacie said...

Yay! I've been wondering if you two talented people were in communication!

(I must admit, the devil vs. angel wings IS a bit ironic!)

Laura said...


Liz said...

Cool candy poster.. I'm lucky, the lady at the front desk of my daughter's school (after a terrible tiff with each other last year) now realizes I'm only human and I don't even have to get out of the car.. she signs her in for me! :)

Love the whole Jane meets Jana.. good versus evil! Both posts are great!

Fingers crossed for the BIG WIN!

I wouldn't have left the candy in either...

Rhea @ Experiencing Motherhood said...

I think it looks great and I'm glad it turned out alright. :)

Christina said...

Two of my favorite bloggers switching places! Love it!

Sinclair said...

Love it! I have been following Courtney for some time now, and I try to never miss a post. Now I am also following the Meanest Mom because your writing is also witty and funny and uplifting. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I voted for The Meanest Mom! K in NC


That picture looks awesome! Tell your hubby "Good job!" from a stranger. Way to take a chance. I'd love to see more of his/your work. :) Do you have some up on photobucket or something?

Shawna (a fellow art lover)
Visit me at:


Of course on the first day I ever look at your blog (and the C Jane blog), you have to pull a swaparoo and confuse me. I don't appreciate this, you know! :) But you've got me laughing.

So, to the one who made the sign for the school receptionist, kudos! That was absolutely hilarious! How DID you find the extra time to do that?! LOL. Only in my imagination would such a thing occur.


sara said...

Oh me oh my - just when I think I have plenty to read I go and find another awesome blog like this! I also have 5-yr-old twins and had four kids in 3 1/2 years so I feel your pain :) Love your writing; get ready to be famous... since cjane linked to you! Going to vote now! Loved your "Lorraine" story!

Scrappy said...

I love the Freaky Friday idea!
I have been following both blogs for a long time and I love you both!

The Girl Next Door said...

this is hilarious! and reminds me i was thinking just the other day "another thing I love about being divorced - spending money and having only ME to answer to!" oh there are downsides, sure but this is one great upsides!

The Snow Queen said...

jana- the only thing that could have been better is if you let your little darlings eat a tiny little bite out of each candy bar and THEN given it to L! I don't know what your problem is... I'm MARRY FLIPPIN POPPINS in the mornings. School STARTS at 7:45 for us. I have to eat a pint of icecream everyday at approx. 8:00am to calm my nerves. Good luck on the Blog awards.

CJane- that is hilarious. Just wait till little Chief is big enough to rat you out... its the worst.

lisa said...

Loved both of these posts! Not only am I completely guilt-ridden 98% of the time, I once went to parent-teacher conference in November only to be informed that my daughter had had 17 tardies since September...just the memory makes me nervous to this day.

Little Lady Cakes said...

I'm the worst liar.

I wish I could get so far as a part III in my lie! :)

Anonymous said...

i think it looks pretty. and really, in the scheme of things...80 bucks isn't that bad. right? you could have spent more!!
and it was a harmless, little white lie.

Aimee Larsen said...

Funny Funny and tell the Mean Mom I LOVED her Candy Poster!

Anonymous said...

Hey Meanest Mama! It looks like you won the magazine contest!!! Wahoo for you!!!

Tara said...

I just linked to your blog from Cjane's and I love your honesty about life! It makes me feel more normal. I have a lot of friends who are apparently a lot nicer and I read about a lot of perfect days.

With four kids we never have a normal day.

Tara said...

I didn't mean nicer than you, nicer than ME!

Kelly said...

Loved both of these posts! I am going to follow meanest mom. Although I have to tell you I thought I was the meanest! Thanks for setting that straight.

Lipstick Jungle said...

When it comes to price tags, no asky, no telly is our motto!

You crack me CJane! I am so glad you sin just as the rest of us! Even if in an angelic way!

Kris said...

I love her blog! She is so "say it like it is" and I love that about her.