June 29, 2009

It's A Hard Knock Life

The first time that Cameron's physical therapist came to my house after school let out for the summer was the last time that my three older kids were allowed to make their own decisions about how they were going to spend that hour of the day.

Cortlen, who normally has to be forcibly extracted from his clothing three times a week to take a shower, decided to spend the time walking around the house totally nude.

The therapist had Cameron clinging to the side of an exercise ball when Cortlen leisurely strolled through the family room and into the kitchen sans clothing. Without acknowledging our presence, he opened the refrigerator door, retrieved and apple, and walked out.

"Excuse me for a minute," I told the physical therapist and jumped to my feet.

"What are you doing?" I asked my son, after cornering him in the hallway.
"Eating an apple," he said matter-of-factly.
I pointed to his exposed family jewels.
"I forgot to put clothes on," he explained.

Immediately after the physical therapist left for the day, I hauled my children to the nearest discount super center and purchased every G and PG-rated movie priced under $10.




The upside to my children watching classic kids' favorites like Gremlins and Annie so often: The flashings have ceased.

The downside: Recently, my children have taken to calling me Miss Hannigan.

33 comments

Lindy said...

This is exactly why I haven't introduced Mary Poppins yet. I'm not sure I can deal with the happy singing it's surely to cause.

Spoonful of sugar my ass.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as an early intervetion speech-language pathologist who works in peoples homes. We have seen it all. Trust me, naked kid walking through the house is nothing. :) Naked husband, now that is a diffent story....

Kathryn said...

It is good to know that my son is not alone in his obsession with exposing himself at the most inopportune times. Phew.

WriterGrrl said...

Oy, in-home visits. This was my take on that:

I especially hated the intake sessions. For the uninitiated, that’s the session where the therapist shows up on the day the housekeeper invariably does not show up, looks around at the hovel you call home, brushes away the debris from the couch and sits down gingerly. She pulls out a clipboard and says, “So, tell me about D.” And then you start talking and crying and she pretends not to notice that you are sobbing or that you haven’t washed your hair in three days or that your other two children are fighting because one will not share her imaginary pizza with the other, and it’s just loads of fun all around.

Young Mom/Wife said...

Oh wow! Glad they are enjoying the classics...and good luck with the next visit!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Does he also pee in front of the church, right after the service?

Jennifer said...

"We love you, Miss Hannigan!!"

Kiki (G.G.) said...

I love Miss Hannigan. What a compliment! I can barely hold it together with one kid, I can't imagine a house full of girls. Lil' D also prefers to live in the buff. Especially in the backyard and in front of our windows for all the neighbors and passerbys to see. Take care.
-Kiki

christine said...

We love you Miss Hanningan!!

Jenn said...

Mine would totally call me Ms. Hannigan too--if I let them watch Annie.

Foursons said...

I was cracking up at your story and then read the comment from the speech-language pathologist. Bahahahaha!

Sara said...

I still think Ms. Hannigan was just misunderstood.

Jenn said...

At least he was running around in the nude in the privacy of your own home. We took my kids to the mall and learned when we saw a bum poke out of the side of the stroller that my 2 1/2 year old had stripped all her clothes off.

Deanna said...

LOL! My son LOVES Mary Poppins, but I don't think I'll subject him to Annie...just yet! LOL! I can't quit laughing! I can only imagine what your son's therapist was thinking...I'm sure she's seen worse, though!

Taylor Clan said...

At least you are not Nanny McPhee (at the beginning of the movie).

Mental note to self: Naked - bad when "Brad" comes over.

Is this the same one you encouraged to take off his shirt and do pushups?

NaDell said...

One of my friends told me last week that her son was calling her Aunt Petunia while he did chores. She called her mom and asked, "Can you believe that he's calling me Aunt Petunia?!" Her mom said, well you used to call me Ms. Hannigan. I guess you really do get what you gave. =)
Oh, and her son has a really good imagination and wasn't really doing it to be mean, just playing.

Katie said...

Hilarious...and I thought I was the ONLY mom to be refered to as Ms Hannigan! LOL

Connie said...

You know what embarrassment is once you have children. You never know what they'll do OR say!
Speaking of nude, my 3 year old came out of his room naked, holding a toy motorcycle. I informed him he was naked and he said, "I not naked, I holding a nu-cacker!" Your son was holding an apple. He wasn't really naked!

larshannon said...

My sides hurt reading this one. Thanks for the laugh

Jo's girl said...

yeah tell me about the little strippers. I was in line at the self check out in wal-mart while the cart was behind me (big mistake never 2 b repeated) and my 3 year old decided that was a good time to pull her skirt and under down while she handed my 2 year old up front the snack bag. I guess those money machines are pretty loud when your stuffing in a bunch of ones, cause I didn't know about any of this until the lady behind me brought my attention to the merry making. so there is my oldest naked from the waist down dancing, and my youngest throwing bits of gold fish like she's at a macy's day parade. I could have died! plus it was a huge line behind me and i still had 13 more "ones" to stuff in.

Tiffany said...

We love you Miss Hannigan.

Joseph said...

Being naked goes with eating an apple, right? Sort of Garden-of-Edenish?

damselindisdress said...

Whoops, the garden of eden comment posted with my ten year old's email address. Lol!

http://damselindisdress.wordpress.com

WILLIAM said...

"I forgot to put clothes on" is a great line.

I may have to try it.

Makayla said...

LOL.

Your children are terrific.

Janille said...

That's a huge compliment - it's Carol Burnett after all.

Gina said...

That's nothing. I go into people's homes quite often as I am a speech-language pathologist and I work for First Steps. It's when the parents are super crazy that I get weirded out.

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Ah, Annie. After the middle school play this past spring, where my daughter starred as an orphan, any time I ask the girls to do anything, I get a "Yes, Miss Hannigan." If only they had pretend parents who would rescue them from their deprived life with us....

Jen said...

LOL -- glad to see someone else call them "the family jewels".

After 5 girls we now are seeing all sorts of antics from our son who just turned 5. So much fun.

Meagan and John said...

Yeah, if you think that is bad go to www.lewis4higher.blogspot.com and find the post about what my son did at the park--just a couple days ago he informed me his poop is still there, by the way, he felt he needed to inform me since the incident I have refused to accompany him back, I send my helper to take the kids to the park for lunch now.

jenn said...

Yesterday we were outside playing and my 4 year old daughter had to go to the bathroom. No big deal usually. This time she comes back outside with her shorts around her ankles waddling to me and asking me to help her with her shorts. lol...at least it was just us out there and no one else saw her Hello Kitty underwear! :)

Btw, I nominated you for an award! Check out my page.

http://amazing-jenn.blogspot.com/

Lissa said...

My daughter, who is 16 months old, HATES the changing table so much that often she squirms right off of it. Or stands up while we're in the middle of dressing her. The other day my husband told her that if she wouldn't lay still long enough to put her shorts on, they were going on her head.... Apparently she didn't mind the punishment AND interestingly enough the child who rips hats, sunglasses and pretty much everything else off of her head wore her shorts on her head for the majority of an hour! New trend in summer headwear? I think maybe....

Tracey in Calgary said...

This reminds me of the time my son (about six years old) climbed up the stairs to the first landing, pulled down his pants and mooned our realtor who was sitting at the kitchen table with me....I will never forget the expression on his face. Priceless.