Manna at the Mall

My local mall is among the best in the nation. When the main department store went out of business last year, many of the chain retail stores decided not to renew their leases. As is stands now, half of the small stores are empty; the other half are dedicated to selling knock-off purses and big & tall tracksuits. To restore some dignity to the city's flagship shopping center, the mall owners recently installed two dozen kiosks, many of which take the shape of covered wagons.

According to the mall information board, these kiosks "bring excitement back to shopping" by offering "a wide range of innovative products and services not available in traditional retail establishments." Included among the novelties is a woman who will thread your eyebrows for $10 and a bearded man who hands out religious pamphlets and sells bansai trees for the bargain price of $25 a pop. Looking for a synthetic hairpiece or a homemade heating pad filled with rice? You'll find those wagons directly across from the food court.


While traditional brick and mortar store employees are prohibited from soliciting sales until the customer is physically inside their store, kiosk vendors benefit from fuzzy property lines. I've learned from experience that if you don't hug the walls and pretend to talk on your cell phone as you pass by, you will be stopped in your tracks by a person wanting you to do them a favor in the form of sniffing a piece of perfumed paper or accepting a squirt of organic lotion made from figs.

By far the most aggressive kiosk salesperson in my mall is the man who hands out free red balloons to children in hopes of guilting their mothers into buying kitchen cabinets by the square foot.

"They're just balloons, Miss," barked the man, at my polite refusal of his gifts.
"I want a balloon!" whined my daughter.
"Not today," I said, pushing my offspring down the aisle.
"Why can't we get one?" cried my son.
"Yeah," yelled the man after me. "Why can't they have one?"
We kept walking. In a last-ditch attempt to woo me into dropping $10,000 on a spur-of-the moment kitchen remodel, the man screamed, "If you buy today, I can get you 50% off!"

As much as I would have liked to stay and talk to the nice salesman, I was forced to focus my attention on the two children who were on the brink of hysterics over their lost opportunity to own a piece of latex taped to a stick.

"We are not getting balloons today," I said firmly. "Don't ask again."

Before anyone could lament their horrible fate of having me as their mother, my other son noticed something spectacular out of the corner of his eye. Much to everyone's amazement, wonder, shock, and surprise, there were three red balloons--sticks still attached--protruding from a trash can just outside of J.C. Penney.



God was smiling down on them. Like the Israelites, escaping from Egypt, God provided a way for His people to be fed while traveling to the promised land. In the wilderness of the Philadelphia mall, my children did not find manna, but just the right number of red balloons to make everyone happy.

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What's YOUR favorite kiosk at the mall? Please tell me there are other malls that sell hairpieces...please.