Here comes Ms. Crohn’s Disease AKA Becky AKA Miss Congeniality.
Ms. Crohn's Disease, who suffers from medication-related mood swings, bares teeth at announcer and growls.Announcer: We are nearing the end of the competition and it is now time for the contestants to answer questions from the judges.
Judge 1: "What are the physical benefits of your disease?"
Ms. Crohn's Disease: "That's easy! I get to eat all the unhealthy crap that I want and I will still stay skinny because my body won't absorb it anyway! Now don't get me wrong! My weight does fluctuate drastically at times, so I get to have several wardrobes of clothing! It comes in three sizes: normal, flare-up, and Prednisone! Oh! And did you notice my skin? One of the side effects of one of my medications (don't ask me which one!!!) causes me to break out in hives if I spend too much time out in the sun. That--coupled with the fact that I am always anemic and have super pale skin--makes people suspect that I am a....
Judge 2: "That is all wonderful to hear! Now tell us about the mental benefits of Crohn's Disease!"
Ms. Crohn's Disease: "Speaking of Predinose, that is one amazing drug! Because I can never sleep, my house is spotless and DON'T YOU DARE MESS IT UP!!!!!!! Oops! Sorry about my mood swings-it goes with the territory! I would like to say a special thanks to my hubby and kids for dealing with me on steroids...LOVE YOU!
Judge 3: "And the social benefits?"
Ms. Crohn's Disease sighs: "There are just too many to count. If I had to pick just one it would be the number of friends I've met at the pharmacy. I'm on 11 different meds so I'm always there!!! I also want to give a big shout out to all of the store owners who let me use their private bathrooms after I flush my self-esteem down the toilet (pun intended) by crying and jumping up and down and telling them that I can't make home without visiting the porcelain goddess!! Double LOVE YA!"
Judge 2: "Finally, what makes Crohn's Disease the sexiest autoimmune disease on the planet?"
Ms. Crohn's Disease holds up the following picture:
Ms. Crohn's Disease: "I rest my case."