August 3, 2009

License to Drive


Last week, I got my license renewed at the DMV. In addition to lugging my four children to the state agency, I also brought along my friend Gayle who needed her license renewed too.

Before departing for our epic journey, I called the three closest DMV offices to my house.

"Generally speaking," I asked the receptionists, "When is your least busy time of the day?"

The answers I received varied from the informative "I don't know" to the specific "It depends." Armed with such valuable decision-making tools, I erred on the side of caution and went to the DMV located across the street from a Burger King.

Gayle waited in the car with the kids while I scoped out the situation. I was disheartened to discover a room packed with people. I was relieved, however, to find an efficient organizational infrastructure to manage the crowd. A large sign at the doorway instructed me to 1) take a number from a ticket dispenser and then 2) take a seat.


I took two numbers--one for me and one for Gayle--and then went outside to tell the troops to brace for a long haul. Almost immediately, Gayle decided that it would be prudent to space our numbers so that my kids wouldn't have to get out of the car. I agreed, so after a few minutes, I went inside and took another number. Unfortunately, it was an even number and I prefer odds, so I was compelled to take another ticket. When I sat down, I noticed that the woman next to me had seven numbers in her hand. This caused me to worry that I was not the only person in the room stockpiling numbers for no good reason. I remedied the situation by grabbing three more numbers. As I went to sit down for the third time in two minutes, I definitely saw the woman behind me roll her eyes. Just to prove that I am not the sort to be bullied, I got up and retrieved another number.

You will be proud to know that I waited a whole seven minutes before taking yet another number.

By the time my first number was called, I had eleven of the numbers between 60 and 97 in my purse.

After getting my license, I returned to the car where I presented Gayle with a plethora of numerical options. Strangely, she chose the ticket that was next in line.... despite the fact that it was an even number.

43 comments

Lindy said...

I'd sell my numbers to other people coming in - no need to not benefit from the state's lack of efficency!

Kelly said...

Smart!

Booklover1212 said...

I usually go first thing in the morning when they open - no waiting...thank goodness!

~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/

feefifoto said...

Wow -- you're a strong believer in belts and suspenders... and safety pins. And Velcro. And duct tape.

Shosh said...

My DMV has a pregnant line! take your ultrasound pics with you and claim early pregnancy. or just get pregnant. that might be easier than waiting in line at the DMV, in my experience

Olivia said...

lol...

Foursons said...

Bahahahahaha! Imagine- an even number, what's wrong with her?

emily said...

I just went to the DMV on Arch Street expecting to wait forevvver. The place was completely packed but I didn't even get a chance to sit before they called my number- it was shocking! Apparently they move very quickly, so now I have a hideous photo til 2013!

JAMIE said...

I am trying to picture what the person who does the "what number we are serving" was thinking....

Renny said...

Just move to AZ, then you don't have to renew your license until you're 65, when you should no longer be driving.

Amy said...

When we moved to Rhode Island, we were used to Northwest dmv's, busy but not too bad. We arrived at the Pawtucket Dmv with our (at the time)4 and two year olds. We ended up being there for 3 hours.

We learned from that experience that you grab a number, go to the mall or out to eat, and then come back. But we were so afraid to leave and miss our chance that we sat on a bench the whole time. Nightmare.

Sara said...

When going to the DMV, I find it is best to arm yourself with the ridiculous in order to survive. Sounds like you did very well for yourself!

Katie said...

I've done the same thing on all accounts. I took all three kids, I took 2 numbers and I left the Secretary of State (that's what we call it here in Michigan). I went to the local Kmart and leisurely shopped around and went back after about an hour. My first number was being called right as I walked in the door! My kids proceeded to fill up the memory of my cell phone taking pictures of each other while I was waited on. I felt so lucky.

Cr4zySAHMandArmywife said...

Oh no you just reminded me since I just moved I have to get a new liscense. Ugh.

DV- Rebecca L. said...

lol

Holly said...

I live in a very small town. When the college students are gone. We literally vary from 22,000 for the school year to 2000 people during summer and breaks. Going to the DMV is quick and easy mostly because the students all do it in Seattle when they go home for breaks. Dummies!

kimert said...

This was FUNNY!!!! Thanks for the laugh. :)

MamaLovesFreebies said...

I laughed so hard I cried reading this. What a way to start my week! I'm off to tweet this from every twitter account I have..I may even create new ones just so I can tweet this blog!

Babs said...

The last time I went, I got there early but was still like #300, during the 3 hour wait, (without a book to read) I crowd watched, then I accidentally made eye contact with the most ferocious looking, most tattoed, including eyeball tattoos on the back of his shaved head, man in the room. he comes practically running over to me,it was one of my older brothers friends that has known me since i was in diapers. of course, all 400 people in the room watched with their mouths hanging open at this gushing badA** biker still shaking my hand. it was the best picture i have ever had, and will be perfect for when I am pulled over, no doubt the shocked look on my face will match the photo.

{Kiki} said...

never been to a DMV with a deli counter number dispenser. interesting concept. i like odd numbers too, 13 is my lucky number. i don't have to go to the DMV for another 3 years, but i will remember your method in case they have a dispenser this time. take care.
-Kiki

metaphase said...

I renewed my license in FL. and you had to have an apt. (which you make online). They WOULD NOT take you without one! I thought it odd, but in the time that it took my husband to take our daughter potty as soon as we got there, I was finished and waiting for them! Now I'm a believer!

The Slaughter 5 said...

LOL! I so wish I could hear the thoughts of the lady behind you!

AVONLadyinSC said...

You are too much, I loved going to our DMV to get my licensed renewed. I had forgotten about the unspoken dress code: hoochie attire for anyone and everyone that is a woman..I felt very overdressed in clothing that didn't show any of my body parts. My shorts didn't show my cheeks, my bra was on and doing it's job, my legs weren't on display from my ankle to my waist, yeah next time I might consider hoochiewear for laughs :)

KB said...

I just had to do the same thing! 2 and 1/2 hours later I had my new drivers license. You know the waits are pretty bad when they have a snack bar right there in the DMV!

brossettelewis said...

The only way to go to the DMV w/ four in tow is with a fully charged macbook and a pixar movie! We did it. No one died. I only was embarrassed that the lady helping me knew me (and I couldn't recall her) because I was her visiting teacher 5 yrs ago. But over all it was a win/win.

Malea said...

You have the most precious OCD's.

Jo's girl said...

oh man your o.c.d cracks me up. what's wrong with even numbers?! I my self am partial to them, on account of my birthday.

but regardless, that was a pretty slick plain. I thankfully don't have to renew mine till 2042 or something. in which case A. I will probably be restrained from driving (by my spouse and children) considering they feel I am already a threat on the road) or B. I will already be dead or C. the second coming will have hit and some will have invented a car that does not need human intelligence to drive it (personally I'm rooting for the last one) although I like pulling the numbers out of things just for fun (like at the deli or post office.) I just try to not let any one see.

Emily's Bloggin' Out!!!! said...

I remeber I went to a DMV when I moved out of state!!! It was such a headache and made me even more homesick! And to top it off the man the desk told my husband and I he would not accept our credit card becuase the back of it said "SEE ID" and out name was signed on it. He said it was not leagl to do so becuase...get this...our name was not see id...so forth! We said this is the only way of payment we have on us and he'll have to accept and if not we would like to speak to management! I wasn't about to leave empty handed after waiting there for 2 hrs!!! (ps. The manager told him that the card is perfectly fine and to use it) HAHA in your face dmv man!!!

Amy said...

I just received a letter from the DMV stating it is time for me to renew my liscence as well. They also informed me that I can do it on line. Thank heavens for modern technology... now I just have to hope their system will be up and running.

The Mother said...

Been there, done that. I usually get the kids their own state IDs, though, as long as we're in line. Amazing how useful those things can be.

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

LoL!!! Okay I personally woulda thought you were crazy!

a.barefoot said...

Haha...ahh

Bugs said...

I should have know you liked 'odd' numbers.

Anonymous said...

You are seriously hilarious.
It makes no sense to have all the numbers following the "next" one - but I like your style. I worked at the RMV in college in Massachusetts and I have never seen a more concentrated bunch of frustrated people - this was before computers-debit cards-and the snappy deli number system. I swear it's given me a terrible case of shadenfreude for life.
deb from MA

Too Many Hats said...

LOL - the dmv is one place I don't take the kids, although I did just have to take the 15 year old for her permit - yikes!

Heather Forcey said...

The DMV bites. I've been insulted by DMV employees more times than I'd like to admit. They must be sad people. However, I can identify with your liking of odd numbers. My husband, oldest son, and myself were all born on odd days. I was frantic to think that my second son would be born on an even day. I stressed about that for a month. Luckily he was born on an odd day just like the rest of us. Phew! Of all the crazy things to worry about. But it makes me like odd numbers!

Pam said...

The last time I went to the DMV w/ my 4 kids I sat patiently in the waiting area w/ a hoard of other people. I worked very diligently to keep my kids under control, which wasn't all that successful. After about 20 minutes one of the DMV workers motioned for me to come up. I got bumped up! I guess he took pitty on me and everyone else waiting. I will definitely take them all with me again next time. I may even borrow a couple of kids from a friend!

girlnblack77 said...

We have a secret DMV in my town. They opened a couple of years ago, but they're not in the phone book anywhere. The office is hidden in the corner of a shopping center about half a mile from my house. It's gaining popularity, through word-of-mouth, I suppose... but no one I know has had to wait more than five minutes to be seen. I only tell my closest friends where it is, because if everyone finds out, it will be slam-packed like the rest of the DMV offices.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I stumbled upon your blog and am now going through reading the whole thing. I love your perspective, I have 7 year old twin boys and a 2 year old single and I can relate to so much you have to say. I guess I need to start following you :)

http://3boys1hubbywhatnext.blogspot.com/

missstamper said...

Taking children along is always an adventure. I'm also imagining reading the blog of the lady who watched you taking number after number after number.

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh, this is hysterical- but I feel your pain!!

Jackie said...

very funny!! you made me laugh! I found you from my friend Mia.

Alicia said...

Oh my, I have been laughing for 5 minutes, calmed down enough to re-read it to my husband, where half-way through I burst out laughing again.

It definately made my day, infact your style of writing and subtle humour have entertained me this evening. Thank You! :)