So lately I've been getting quite a few emails from ladies who question/debate my claim that Crohn's Disease is the sexiest autoimmune disease on the planet. I don't know how the status of a disease that gives you such delights as the stoma (I miss mine soooo much) and the fistula can be questioned, but evidently there are some people who think that putting Crohn's Disease on such a high pedestal is just plain crap. Pun intended.
The way I see it, the only way to settle this dispute once and for all is to put our collective ailments up against each other, American style. I am speaking, of course, about a beauty pageant!!!!!!!
This post serves as the OFFICIAL (and everything we do around here is super official) call for contestants for the first annual
(insert toe touches and wild cheers of jubilation)
Contestants will be judged on their poise, grace, debilitating disfigurements, and thickness of their medical charts in inches. The ability to laugh at oneself and find humor in the unfortunate is a must.
Want to know if you're eligible? Click HERE or HERE to find out!
If you have Lupus, MS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Diabetes or something rare and hard to pronounce (Dermatomyocitis anyone?), step forward and let your diseased self shine! This pageant is for you girl!!!
Leprosy? Hypochondria? Prone to adult acne or irrational temper tantrums? We're non-discriminatory when it comes to the afflicted. We'll take you too!
If you want to be a contestant in this pageant, e-mail me at themeanestmom at gmail dot com, subject line "pageant." I'll be taking submissions through the end of the week, at which point, a committee comprised of chronically ill women in various stages of physical and emotional decay will select the finalists. Then there will be voting, tears of joy, a plastic crown, and bragging rights FOREVER.
Just think: this could be YOU, only with chubby Prednisone cheeks, a spare tire, and a weird rash on your rump. Can it get any better?
For those of you who think this pageant is in bad taste, I totally agree. There is nothing more tacky than talking openly about Irritable Bowel Sydrome and its friends.
I stand corrected.