September 4, 2009
The Painted Lady
Last night, I went to the mall to buy some new makeup. Before I even reached the department store counter, a woman in a white lab coat accosted me with a perfume sample and a special offer.
"You can get all of this for free," she said, pointing to an assortment of vials and tubes on the display counter, "With any qualifying purchase of $22.50 or more."
I stopped in my tracks.
I was fairly certain that I would never use any of the objects displayed in the clear Plexiglas case, but the thought of taking the mysterious items home and storing them under my bathroom sink for half a decade strangely appealed to me.
"You've got two minutes," I told the faux doctor.
The woman quickly got to work, eyeballing me and trying to decide what type of foundation best complemented an albino wearing a sweatshirt and Crocs.
The woman spent the next several minutes dabbing, wiping, brushing, blending, concealing, smoothing and evening out my skin tone with a small paintbrush.
By the time the woman finished, I was exhausted...and slightly itchy.
The woman handed me a mirror and invited me to take a peek. I was relieved to see that her labor was not in vain. The person staring back at me looked as though she had been dipped in cocoa powder and rolled in a fine layer of breadcrumbs.
"Gorgeous!" I shouted triumphantly and jumped out of the chair. "Thank you so much!"
"Where are you going?" the woman asked as I picked up my purse and began moving quickly in the direction of the nearest store exit.
I didn't have time to answer her. A face that colorful and textured shouldn't be wasted at the mall. It belongs out on the town.
I've had some really great experiences at mall makeup counters. Needless to say, yesterday was not one of them. Anyone leave the makeup counter looking worse than when you showed up?
I promise that the pageant winner will be announced soon. It's taking me longer than expected to tabulate the votes...and remember my PollDaddy password :)