October 23, 2009

The Haunted House


Thanks to an eleven-year-old neighbor, my children now know the truth about our house; namely, that it's haunted. No one knows for sure who died in our house or when, but judging from the quantity of red carpet and green wallpaper that graced our humble abode at the time of our move-in, my best guess is Santa.

"There are no ghosts in this house," I assured my children. "Small rodents, maybe, but definitely no ghosts."

My children were more disappointed than relieved by this news. In protest, they've spent the past week trying to prove me wrong.

Early Tuesday morning, I opened the pantry door to retrieve some oatmeal and my daughter popped out. "Boo!" she screamed.

The first time that my kids startled me, it was funny. Ditto for the second and third times. By the fourteenth time, I started to fear for my children's safety.

"All of the ghosts need to disappear for awhile," I warned Kellen and Camber.

"Nuts!" shrieked Cortlen, tumbling out of the hall closet.

At 5:37am this morning, I felt the presence of a real-life apparition standing next to my bed. I opened my eyes to find Kellen three inches from my face.

"Boo!" he whispered.

"You've got to be kidding me," I growled. "Why aren't you in your bed?" I wanted to know.

"I don't feel so good," he explained. That's when I noticed my son's unnaturally pale skin.

When Cortlen stumbled in our room as white as a sheet a few hours later, I was forced to apologize.

"I stand corrected," I told my children. "There are ghosts in this house. And they have the flu."

27 comments

Janille said...

Well they asked for it. Having the flu always makes me wish I were dead. I wouldn't haunt anyone though - why waste time getting to other side? (Unless of course you were very bad and the other side was not going to be pleasant).

Santa may want to haunt kids though -or maybe parents. That's a tough gig once a year.

Connie said...

Kids with the flu! Now THAT'S scary! Good luck and may the haunting be minimized, at least until they're better!

loriaj61 said...

Sorry to hear you have the flu in your house! That is never any fun. I hope it goes away soon.

sara said...

Oh no!

Jennifer said...

One of life's more unpleasant experiences - getting woken at some unholy hour by a small voice whispering steadily in your ear. I always bolt awake with an adrenaline surge more appropriate to the appearance of the undead than a little girl with a 103 degree fever.

I got woken up at 2:03 a.m. Nyaah, Nyaah, I beat you. ;)

Anonymous said...

We've got the flu at our house too - it sucks.

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

I guess going to the BK playlands finally did them in. :) Seriously, I'm sorry they are sick. But, not too sick to scare, huh? I hope they get better quickly. Sick kids are no fun.

mypixees3 said...

we've got the flu here too and it does suck!

Sandra said...

I'm usually a lurker, but I had to post my sympathies at having the flu in your house. It's everywhere here in middle Tennessee...we have been lucky so far, but not sure how long our luck will hold out. Sending healthy vibes your way!

The Four Week Vegan said...

Have you ever considered a reality show? I would much rather watch your kiddos and you, crack me up, than balloon boy.

Well wishes to your sickies.

Robin said...

Poor things and POOR MOMMY! I hope all are feeling better soon!

{{HUGS}}

Robin :o)

Susan Anderson said...

Uh-oh. If not truly ghostly, that is always ghastly news.

Hope all are well soon.
=)

Karen said...

I think I'd rather have a ghost in my house than the flu.

Unknown said...

How terrible for your little ghosts. Hope they feel better soon. Hope you are able to keep them comfy.

taradon said...

Swine flu here at my house... I think I agree with the previous poster. I'd rather have the ghosts! Hope your little ones recover soon.

Liz said...

We're just getting over the piggy flu here and it does suck. At least it's almost over! Hope your ghost feels better soon.

Cami said...

I've been in stitches for the past 45 minutes. I haven't had time to read your blog for awhile and I've been sitting here catching up! Your kids are the only kids I know of who make me laugh the way my own do! Got to remember to make it a point to read this daily.

Have you missed me? :)

Anonymous said...

We have the flu here too! (2 dogs as well) I have depleted my ginger ale, gatorade and lysol stockpiles! I walk around behind my kids wiping everything they touch! I need a vacation!!

Good Luck- I hope you stay healthy!

Chief said...

I feel for you! The flu is of the devil!

Anonymous said...

I see the ghost of poor writing skills has gotten to you as well.

Unknown said...

Ooooooh, so sory to hear they're sick. Hope you stay well.
We lived in a house where the 'mother' had killed herself. Never saw any 'ghosts'; was never scared to be there. We lived there for 12 years.

Katie said...

I love reading your posts:)

I hope they get well soon!

RoseBelle said...

When I was a kid, my neighbor's daughter told me my house was haunted. I asked my parents and of course they said, "nonsense" but you know, it made me the more curious to find out. Whenever I heard noises, I'd ask was it the ghost. It's funny thinking back now. My son is sick too. I hope yours feel better soon

Meeko Fabulous said...

I hate being scared! I don't respond very well to it. Usually someone gets punched in the process! LOL! Hope you're little one is feeling better.

Melissa said...

Oh no! Hopefully the ghostiness doesn't spread to the other kiddos. One ghost is plenty!

Kat said...

The flu is much worse than ghosts. Yuck.
Hope everyone feels better soon!

Lissa said...

My husband plays the ghost more often than not in our house. He thinks it is just all kinds of HI-LARIOUS that he can jump out from behind anything and scare me. I have warned him within an inch of his life more than once. Heaven help our children...