November 9, 2009

Stolen Goods

Last week, my mother-in-law (who lives in California), paid us a visit. I've been married for twelve years and have known Sue since I was twelve, so needless to say, we feel pretty comfortable around each other.

It's probably because I feel so comfortable around my mother-in-law that sometimes I do and say things that make her feel uncomfortable. Case in point: the food court at Target. Last week, one of my sons threw a temper tantrum in the middle of it. The problem started when I deliberately and maliciously placed four fewer kernels of popcorn on his napkin than on his siblings'.

"Now I'm taking your popcorn away," I announced after two warnings only escalated the volume of the complaints.

My mother-in-law nibbled on her nails and shifted in her seat as I carried my son out to the parking lot.

"Grandma! Save me!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Sometimes I make my mother-in-law feel uncomfortable. On her most recent visit, she returned the favor.

One morning, while the kids were in school, I took my mother-in-law to a local sporting goods store where she purchased a number of Christmas gifts for my kids including two baseball helmets and two equipment bags.

A few days after she returned home to California, she called me with some bad news. She didn't remember wrapping the equipments bags. In fact, she didn't remember leaving the store with them.

"The cashier probably put the bags in a separate bag and forgot to give them to us."

That evening, I returned to the store with my receipt. Two very nice teenage employees looked up from the games they were playing on their cell phones long enough to point me in the direction of the baseball gear.

"Take what you want," said one of the employees.

The next afternoon, my mother-in-law called again. "The helmets weren't in the bag we brought home either!" she remembered.

Back to the store I went. This time, I was greeted by the store manager, who was very concerned about my story of missing bags and helmets and possible employee theft.

The manager took my receipt and disappeared into the back room. He was gone for almost fifteen minutes. When he returned, his face was very serious.

"I have something on the security tape that I want you to see," he said.

My palms grew sweaty as I felt my adrenaline surge. I have always wanted to be the victim of a non-violent crime. I immediately began to wonder if I would be called to testify in court, and if so, what I would wear.

"So here's the tape of your transaction," the manager said, pointing to the television screen. Footage of the store employee ringing up our purchases was followed by very clear footage of the employee putting all of the items into bags and us leaving the store with those bags. There is even footage from a camera placed outside the front of store of us loading the bags into my car and driving off.

I half expected a police officer to jump out from behind a plastic ficus plant and handcuff me on the spot.

I apologized profusely and promised to return the equipment bags within the hour. The instant I left the store, I called my mother-in-law.

"You just made me feel very uncomfortable," I told her.

After my mother-in-law laughed herself silly, she apologized for her mistake.

*****
P.S. I made my husband return the equipment bags so he could feel comfortable too.
P.P.S. We found the equipment bags and the helmets in the hall closet.

29 comments

~Mama Skates~ said...

hilarious! wonder if the 2 teenagers got in trouble 4 just letting u take whatever u want?

marfmom said...

hahaha awkward! i had the same question as mama skates.

Becca said...

That is precious. Love the crazy MIL (you know she did that on purpose, right?).

Scot and Evie said...

That's hilarious! I would of been so embarrassed! I could just see my DH rolling his eyes at me trying to explain that one and sending him in to fix it. (Still laughing)

CountessLaurie said...

I love that your first thoughts were what you would wear when testifying! Bwaaa haaa haaa!

Sants said...

What you will wear when testifying is something that one should consider at various times, since I think it is inevitable at some point I will end up in a court room. The odds depend on how many kids you have and to sound sexist, how many of them are boys...

Margaret said...

LOL I wouldn't have returned the bags either. My husband would have had to do it for me lol

MamaOtwins+1 said...

That's the best payback I've ever heard - I'm going to use that one!

Stina said...

that's awesome. it's mean, but funny. i would have turned bright red and started crying. take care.

Julie Harward said...

Oh my gosh...I hate it when things like that happen! Glad it worked out! I'm having a GIVE A WAY on my blog...Come say hi :d

Emily said...

Hahaha! We're all gonna miss you when you get thrown in jail one of these days :)

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

HAHAHA!!!! That is awful. I'd be devistated. These kinda stories are the reason I started readin glbogs. :)

Sue said...

That is too funny.

=D

catt410 said...

"I half expected a police officer to jump out from behind a plastic ficus plant and handcuff me on the spot."

To funny. I can't believe he dug up the recording. They must really have a problem and you didn't help :)

Karen said...

This is why I do all my shopping online! I can't forget packages that are shipped directly to my house!!

Sims Family said...

Until I read this post, I didn't realize that your husband grew up in my stake in Newbury Park! (I am from Agoura and we are the same age.) How funny. I knew your in-laws from the singles ward. I love your blog and read it all the time. Thanks for keeping me entertained!

Est. June 1, 1996 said...

And I thought I was the only one that's known my MIL since I was 12 (okay, 13, but close enough...)

Pink & Green Mama said...

impressive that the store manager could come up with security tape that quickly!

Melissa said...

NIce. I think I just peed a little. I love reading you. Be sure to tell us what the jail cell was like!

Too Many Hats said...

Too funny, but glad it happened to you and not me.

Liz said...

OH gosh that is so embarrassing!!! Only you could tell it so well... hysterical!

Kira said...

Oh wow!!! LOL well atleast your mother in laws was nice enough to get them for you! My mother in law told me she was going to buy a high chair for my son, but when we drove the 900 miles to visit she handed me a defective baby outfit with a $3 clearance tag still on it. lol. One pant leg was 2 inches shorter than the other.

The Drama Mama said...

Oh wow! That is funny now, but I would have cried and most likely thrown up when the manager showed you the tape. Good thing you and your Mother in law get along. Me and mine do not. I would have killed her for that mistake!

Nicole said...

ha! thats too good. how about those workers saying Take Whatever you want?? thats some shiz...

Brad, Rebecca, Jacob said...

That is great! Merry Christmas :)

thetallgrl said...

Now if only Marshall's could get their act together...

Wendy said...

Oh that is so, SO awesome!!!

Meagan and John said...

atleast you and your mother-in-law get along and are comfortable with each other, my mother in law has tried, as long as I have known her, to break us up--it wasn't until after we were married that my brother told us that our parents went on a date a few years before we met--his mom and my dad--yeah, that was a little beyond weird, almost as weird as the day after we got married his grandma felt the need to tell us that through a gret-great-great-great-etc...grandpa that they were realted my step dad and his daughters---my son is the only grandchild that actually carries both my mom and my step dad's blood line--unfortunately that isn't something I was thrilled to find out

www.mommysdashboardconfession.blogspot.com

Heidi said...

Whew, now that was quite a ride! I have to admit that I would be uncomfortable as well.
You are hilarious, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that becuase your Mother In Law had a senior moment!