November 10, 2009

Parent-Teacher Conferences

This afternoon, my husband and I have meetings scheduled with Cortlen and Kellen's kindergarten teachers. I wasn't worried about the kind of report cards that my children would receive until several neighbors (who have children in my boys' classes) went out of their way to provide me with unsolicited play-by-play rundowns of their own parent-teacher conferences. I had no idea that Stephen Hawking was once our neighborhood's mailman.

Everything was straight gold stars, double thumbs up, and green traffic lights. One precocious girl even interacts with her peers on a third-grade level. That is what her mother told me at the bus stop this morning. The woman was wearing a jogging suit and new white sneakers. I was wearing one brown sock and one black.

"Your gene pool is a little shallow," I told my boys over lunch. They cocked their heads and looked confused.

"And we moved into this neighborhood after the smart mailman left," I explained.

28 comments

Julie Harward said...

Very cute! I always enjoy your blog! Hey, I'm having a "GIVE A WAY" on my blog..Come say hi :D

Margaret said...

I just found your blog and I love reading it!

Christa @ Quintooples said...

hahahahaha!!!!! Very cute! I have my first parent/teacher conference next week..... :x

Kirsty said...

ROFL...loving the "cocking heads to the side" imagery. Perfect.

girlnblack77 said...

"I had no idea that Stephen Hawking was once our neighborhood's mailman."

You made me spray tea out my nose.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Gotta love a shallow gene pool.

Tutus and Choo-Choos said...

I discovered your blog recently and you always make me laugh!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

We have conferences on Friday - they are always interesting to say the least!

Anonymous said...

Jana, as always, you are the hero of normal moms and children everywhere.
I thank you. Hilarious!
-Jen

thetallgrl said...

I'm embarrassed to say that the whole Steven Hawking as the mailman joke took me several hours to figure out. But now that I finally get it, duh, I'm laughing my butt off! Thanks for making me smile yet again!

AlsoMean said...

The day before the conference I start asking "What is your teacher going to tell me?"
That usually gets them shaking in their boots!

You are going to love this one: "He has difficulty with being told no".

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

LOL! You always crack me up!

Karen said...

Hope you can make it through the conference without falling off your chair.

Emz said...

Soooo real-raw & honest---- the best. Always lived PT conf. ;)

Parenting Ink said...

Love the Stephen Hawking line!
Good luck with the conferences.
As a former middle school teacher, the only advice I have is: don't show up drunk (I swear, one parent did my first year of teaching and I had to help carry her to a cab!).

vanilla said...

Oh, my. That genius was prolific.

Michelle said...

Too funny!

Why are parents (moms especially) so competitive. I know I do it too but I really don't know why!

HW said...

"...interacts with her peers on a third grade level." What does that even mean?

The conferences get even better in high school. I always ask my kids "Is there anything we need to know before we go in there? Don't let us be sitting ducks." I always want to start each conference with "Really. My husband and I are good people"

For instance, just yesterday our son, a senior, told us about how he and his buddy, CRAWLED to the door of the study hall room, to stay out of the teacher's sight so they could get out of the classroom before everybody else. Yes, while her back was turned, they slinked along the shelves and desks like two commandos on a mission. The girls' p.e. teacher saw them from the hallway and laughed at them. I've yet to hear if she turned them in.

We are so proud of his maturity.....

Bateman Family said...

I have 2nd grade twin boys who have "a shallow gene pool" too. When I told one of them I was going to meet with his teacher he quickly confessed to "peeing in the sink." I think I've seen it all thus far. Brace yourself!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Perfect. Laughing and laughing.

I, too, have done the brown/black combo, but w/ shoes ... I'd like to think we are trendsetters. I expect Milan to start showing that look on the runways by spring.

Kim said...

bwahahahaha!

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

LOL...you always crack me up!!

ncgator said...

oh, yeah. I'm there.

Amy said...

HAAAA! This is the funniest post I've read on here so far. And that's saying a lot. Crap, that was funny! :o)

Renny said...

Albert Einstein never did his hair. Thats all I'm sayin.

Too Many Hats said...

Hahaha...Shallow gene pool - love it.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I think I will have to tell JDaniel the same thing.

Melissa said...

I wish Steven Hawking was OUR mailman! Maybe then I could have a kid that would win the "My kid is better/smarter..." game. (Not to be confused with the my kid is CUTER game because lets face it...)