The Alternative Family

Last week, I received two AMAZING invitations. The first was extended by the producer of a national talk show. Think seventeen notches down from Oprah.

"We're doing a makeover show and think you'd be perfect!!!!!" the producer chirped over the phone.

Already I was offended.

My self esteem officially went down the crapper when she asked me how long I had worn 'mom jeans' and why I wouldn't give them up.

"I think you have the wrong number," I told her and hung up.

The second invitation came from the producer of a new reality television series. She found my blog through a friend of a friend of a friend and "LOVED loved LOVED" my "unique perspective on parenting and positive views on life."

That's when I knew that she had never read my blog.

This producer told me that if it was all right with me, a camera crew and fifteen million people would come to my house and follow me and my kids around for a week.

The prospect of such awesomeness underwhelmed me.

When I didn't respond right away, the producer added that yours truly wouldn't be the main attraction. The series is going to feature a number of alternative families from all across the country.

"Alternative?" I asked. Her choice of words confused me.

That's when she told me that one of the other young families that she is working with vacations at nudist colonies. Another set of parents pierced their toddlers' noses and eyebrows and let their six-year-old get a snake tattoo.

As much as I had felt like I had found my home, I declined the very generous and heartwarming offer to join the freak show.

It's been a week, and I'm starting to worry that I made the wrong choice.

Not.