April 2, 2010

Easter Shopping

Last year, my children were far too interested in the contents of their noses to be bothered with the contents of the shopping cart next to them. This general lack of awareness of the world around them, coupled with a strategically placed sweatshirt or purse, enabled me to do my Easter shopping with my kids in tow.

This year, I wrongly assumed that I could pull the same trick.

"What's all that candy for?" Kellen asked as he scaled the side of the shopping cart for a better look.

I put the bags of jelly beans back on the shelf.
"I was hungry," I replied, "But now I'm not."

"Why is there a Barbie under your jacket at the bottom of the shopping cart?" my daughter asked me the next day at Target. Lowering her voice to a whisper she continued, "Are you going to steal it?"

"I thought you hate that stuff," observed Cortlen a minute later, as he watched me examine a bag of plastic Easter grass.

"I do," I answered, shrinking away from the shelf in feigned disgust. "Let's get out of here."

As a result of my failed expeditions, I was forced to do all of my holiday shopping tonight. To my surprise, every retailer in my city was pretty much cleared out of Easter candy, except for the disgusting kinds (ie Starburst jellybeans and malt balls). While I was rummaging around the shelves for a lone Cadbury egg or rogue chocolate bunny, a grocery store employee approached with a cardboard box.

"Yes!" I said to myself as the man opened the container. "More Easter candy!"

I waited patiently as the man unloaded the box and stacked its contents on the shelf. Strangely, the man wouldn't make eye contact with me, even after I hugged him.

Soon, I found out why.
Inside the box were 200 heart-shaped Pez dispensers. Another hundred bore the likeness of Cupid with a bow.

"This is Valentine's Day candy!" I shrieked.

The man shrugged his shoulders. "Take it or leave it," he replied. "It's all we have left in the back."

I left it.

Now I'm having regrets.


Anonymous said...

I have done the same thing and decided to take a look at the holiday and why we celebrate it...my kids will be thrilled with their geneological King James Version of their very own bibles. Along with some symbolic things of the season like a cross necklace. The EB will be popular at our house this year and no one will be hyper and unable to eat the Easter feast.

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

This is really cute. Can't really relate but it made me smile. I can related to your previous post, The Last Supper. I had a similar experience with my son. He was around 5 and his teacher made me do it. (he has fragile x syndrome) Anyway, it was probably more awful for me than him.

Kelly said...

This is the exact reason I broke down and told my 7 year old that I am the Easter Bunny's helper this year.

Besides isn't it a bit creepy to think that a bunny has access to your bedroom and may just nibble on your toes at night?

the thrifty ba said...

i tell my kids that we buy the candy and any gifts come from the e.b. and that seems to work ok.
of course, we have eaten about half the candy i got into the house already.
darn sweettart jelly beans.

wendy said...

If we were neighbors I'd bring over some of our candy. We were just given more than we ought to consume, and it's the good stuff, too. Good luck!

I thought my 2yo didn't notice or remember that I bought a kite for him a few weeks ago. He's been asking for it all week. I just told him straight up: "It's going to be in your Easter basket. We just pretend it's from the Easter Bunny." Hoping I haven't ruined his childhood . . .

brossettelewis said...

"except for the disgusting kinds (ie Starburst jellybeans" Curse you, those are my favorite.

May I suggest using reusable (ie: colored) bags. I filled mine up unnoticed..i thought.

jp said...

shred construction paper in your shredder for almost free Easter grass. It is a lot less messy pickup than the plastic nasty stuff. Think outside the box- dollarstore bubbles tatoos lipsticks markers along with the sugar coma candy. Gooood luck! Oh, and I love sand pails for Easter baskets so they're fun and useful soon enough!

pegzhere said...

I LOVE the Starburst JBs and malted milk balls have been a staple in our baskets since I was a kid. You had a shot at the good stuff!

(as an aside my word verification is wineslus - interesting...)

Michelle said...

I haven't waited this late before but happy to say while the Target Easter selection was picked over I found what I needed and get out of there.

I hope you managed to find something!

Anonymous said...

OK how can you not like Starburst jellybeans? I've found something we don't have in common! :)

Anonymous said...

I just did the same thing and my son is almost 5. I figured it's the last year I can get away with this. I ended up buying him more little toys (star wars figurines, etc...) b/c I didn't want him to gorge on candy.

Oh, and a comment about your previous post...my son stopped the bottle when he was 3 but still drinks sippy cups of milk. And, I'm not ashamed! (I used to be!) He's not a great eater (super picky!) and needs his milk. And, I think as a result, he's super tall for his age and has a good weight (he's 5 in june and the size of a 6-7 year old). So, my point is, if Cameron enjoys his milk, let him have it! :) He'll eventually grow out of it! :)

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

In hindsight I believe this is why my parents insisted on giving my brother and I horrid hard candy eggs every single year nearly - they were clearly the only easter egg left on the shelves when mum finally got a chance to go shopping without us in tow... :)

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me this year! I did manage to dig some acceptible candy off the shelves, avoided the nasty fake grass, and as for Easter toys, etc, my kids are getting shoes and flip flops that I found on sale. Don't know what they'll think of that but the EB decided to be practical (and there wasn't much of a selection left last night when I went).

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I was fortunate to be able to perform my Easter Bunny duties a week or so ago....but I had to make a quick run to the store last night after the girlies were in bed. I saw some pretty pitiful mommies and daddies wrestling with the decision, to buy the Starburst jelly beans or not to buy?

Hope your kiddos have a fun Easter nonetheless! :)

My Mercurial Nature said...

I wonder how many grocery clerks have been hugged by last-minute Easter shoppers? I'd take back that hug after I discovered the Pez dispensers, which are just ick!

Amy said...

I'm offended! Starburst jellybeans are the BEST!!!! :)

Gwenevere said...

Starburst jellybeans and malt balls are all my peanut allergy kids can eat! Looks like I'll still be in luck to go do my Easter shopping...wha HOO!

Melonie said...

I love starburst jellybeans!

Rebecca said...

When I was a kid my parents gave up one year and filled the plastic eggs with nickels, dimes and if were were really lucky, QUARTERS! I remember thinking it was the best Easter, ever.
Love your blog!

HW said...

You will blink your eyes and it will be so different.
My son (age 18)saw the Reese's peanut butter eggs I thought I'd hidden in the cupboard and grabbed for one. I shooed him away and said "stop those are for you Easter basket." Then he spied the tiny packs of skittles and went for those and I smacked at his hand again.
Then my daughter opened a drawer and said "Oh are we getting gummy eggs in our baskets?" So I said "yep."
The magic is gone......

(except they don't know about the Casey's gift cards so they can get donuts before school....shhhh)

Carie said...

Starburst jellybeans are discusting? Oh No, why didn't somebody tell me!

Anonymous said...

funny Funny FUNNY!!

Melinda said...

Literally as I'm reading this, I have the leftovers from stuffing my kids' eggs sitting on the bed. Yes, while I read, I'm gorging myself on starburst jellybeans and robins eggs. I feel like a gluton now.

April said...

Hey now, let's not be hating on the malted milk balls. Delicious!

Karen in NC said...

You always crack me up. Do you have any Easter eggs? If so, cram some coins in those, pick up a few of those small Legos cars or something and a few Hershey bars. That sounds awesome to me!

Brooke said...

Funny. Just realized we both have Kellens (haven't been reading for long, but I love what I have read!).

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you wont be buying any Easter candy on sale tomorrow.

Emmy said...

Yes, it is annoying when you can't just sneak things in the cart anymore.. those days were so much easier. And yes, you definitely missed out on the pez ;)

Anonymous said...

We got creative early on with our kids and told them we buy the candy and the easter bunny puts it in the basket, while he's here he takes a few pieces and hides all the eggs hoping that while we are looking for them we forget to be upset that he was hungry and took some. This year they questioned how he gets to every house and has time to hide it all, so I told them that like Santa the Bunny has helpers, all the little bunnies in the neighborhoods and thats why they are all born in the spring so they can help hide the eggs.
It's hard to deal with smart kids when they see all the candy in their baskets that they saw on the shelves.

MrsDixon said...

And you were just trying to be a good Easter bunny....those kids are getting too smart! :)

therdt said...

I was shopping at the mall with my 9 yr. old daughter when I came across a kiosk selling Ipod accessories. I needed to get one for her older brother's (14) Easter basket and knowing that I wouldn't make it back to the mall before Easter I swore her to secrecy and bought the Ipod cover I needed. She did a great job keeping the secret! We have never encouraged our kids to believe it the Easter Bunny, it makes shopping easier!

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