May 12, 2010

Realtors

Moving requires a number of difficult decisions, the most important of which is choosing a good realtor.

When choosing a real estate agent, most people focus way too much on irrelevant things like experience and professionalism. I make my decisions based solely on the photographs that adorn agents' business cards and websites.

The finalists:

Louie and Rosco


Dominic "The Dragon"

Faye

Larry

Donny and Snowball

Roger

Louise

My husband was not amused. "This is serious," he told me last night.

I couldn't agree more. If a picture speaks a thousand words, then the specimens above scream "all business."

***
In all seriousness, who should I choose?

140 comments

katrina said...

1.Donny and Snowball--He looks trustworthy
2.Louise--she looks all business but not car saleswoman-ish
3.Dominic "The Dragon" --not sure I trust him but he is nice to look at.
In that order!

Carrie C. said...

Dominic - the other pics look a little "dated" to put it nicely!
And, he's some eye candy!!

donna said...

What is it with Realtors and pictures with their dogs?

linney said...

dominic!!!! please! i'd love to hear stories about him :)

Kristine said...

Oooh! Oooh! this is hilarious. in February when that "Valentines Day" movie came out I had a dream that my husband and I moved somewhere warm where they had swimming pools and he was a working maniac so I was the one who had to go out with the Realtor . . . who happened to be BRADLEY COOPER! Who I happened to spend 6 hours a day with looking for a house and who took me out to lunch, etc. and who my husband knocked out with one upper cut for trying to bust a move on me. AWESOME DREAM!

So I choose Dominic !!! :-)

Sarah said...

Faye, hands down.

Melinda said...

Roger- love the 'stache!!!

Camille Farias said...

Anyone who calls himself "The Dragon" is definitely someone you can count on to step up when the situation gets out of hand; if I know anything about real estate, it's that things ALWAYS get out of hand. I vote Dominic.

CountessLaurie said...

I was gonna vote for Louis and Rosco... but I don't know who's who. Can I have more choices please?

Symply Me said...

I'd go for Roger. He looks just a placard short of a mug shot.

Kelly said...

Faye - she's following a higher power...

Eliana said...

Donny and Snowball, hands down. Snowball will take care of everything that Donny can't, like entertain your children.

Good luck!

Emily said...

Dominic "The Dragon" He is HOT! :) Hope your husband does not mind! Hopefully you are moving to Jacksonville into my ward!

Kara Lynn said...

The Dragon. He is cute, plus he dresses nice. Or maybe just meet him to look at him, I don't know if I trust him for some reason.

Jeni said...

Stay clear of Roger:)

Brandon and Sarah said...

I'd keep Roger far, far away from my kids!

brossettelewis said...

Donny and Snowball - he's hot, he has a dog, he's personable.

Kelly said...

Choose Fay- she looks just like Betty White!

KB said...

A man and his dog could never do you wrong, but man is The Dragon intriguing!

Jessica said...

Oh Jana... I think you need to keep looking. LOL

annie said...

Larry! He looks like a bucket of laughs!

Valerie said...

Hello! Dominic, duh! ;)

the thrifty ba said...

i agree with kelly-faye! i bet this is what betty does when she isnt hosting snl!

Janine said...

Could you please anonymously let Dominic know that an entire segment of the population (ie the mummy-bloggers) are drooling over him on the internet? I think that would really make his day ;)

Lin said...

On looks alone, I'd go with Dominic "The Dragon". Although, he is giving you that sorta creepy stalker look...but on the upside he's totally rockin the stripper name :)

Jessica said...

Depends on what you're going for:
-Louise if you want to get the job done.
-Dominic, Larry, or Roger if you want blog material!

Brooks said...

Definitely Roger. I am drawn to his "molestache". If you can't put your trust in a guy like that, who else could you?

Maureen said...

Dominic..strong and determined, a real go getter and Dominic is a good strong name..good luck, I think you'll need it..;)

beangirl said...

OMG pick FAYE, for cryin' out loud! How could you not choose that lady!?

Totally awesome. She'll probably not only sell your house to a nice couple who just moved to town but also tell you all the best repairmen to help you fix up any little fixers that need doing before you sell and also, just possibly, find your adorable niece/sister/cousin who-just-hasn't-found-the-right-guy-even-though-she-has-such-a-pretty-face a brand new husband.

Dayna said...

Dominic is by far the hottest guy there so he would be my first choice. But his looks may become too distracting and you can't concentrate. You might end up buying a house next door to that big ole snake!

Larry is just too creepy. His picture looks like one they have at schools warning of nearby sex offenders!

Hey Roger! The 70's called and they want their 'stache back!

Poor Louis- she's just not interesting enuf to blog about or sell your house.

I do like Snowball. The dog gets a partial vote from me.

jennie w. said...

I pick the person with the best name. Our last realtor was named Tangerine. I kid you not.

Anonymous said...

You need to go with Snowball. He looks like he could hold his own against your children.

Tricia said...

How old is Larry now? There is no way that picture can be recent! Those are too funny.

Anonymous said...

Go to Dave Ramsey's website and find an "ELP"

Anonymous said...

Faye kinda looks like she can tell the future...or channel spirits or something. I would definitely NOT use her.
I bet Snowball can sell a mean house!

Anonymous said...

I think Dominic would be best. All the ladies will probably buy from him because he's hot. Plus he has a superawesome nickname. You don't get a name like "The Dragon" for nothing!!

On a different note, how are the kids handling the idea of moving?

The redhead said...

If I'm taking this seriously, which I am, I would have to go with Louise. She took the time to pose with a real estate sign instead of her beloved pet. That siginifies that she means business, not fluff time. She's UNDER CONTRACT! I would have chosen Louie and Rosco but he has taken careful effort to hide his hands which makes me nervous.

The Professional Family Manager said...

I'd go with "The Dragon," simply because it's obvious he's put some thought into his marketing strategy. The others are same-ol', same-ol', trying for the pet heartstrings thing or doing the standard pic. Well, except for "Faye," who just looks like a kook.

vanessaq said...

I think they are all scary! I live in FL and know some safe realtors if you want a recommendation. Good luck!

Tina said...

Dominic...because he is hot and he looks like someone who does not take "no" for an answer. He'll get it done.

Mr and Mrs Smith and Co said...

Dominic the Dragon is hawt... And he looks business-y. Go for him :)

Jessica said...

1. Dominic the dragon-Eye Candy...you know you like it!

Rocket Ma'am said...

Speaking from experience of many moves, as in 6+ in 10 years, with 3 houses bought and sold:
interview at least 3 in your home. A good realtor has a plan of attack in writing and will arrange for a stager to come. They are worth it. Find out who can access your listing from where. Make sure the exposure is big. Pictures should not only be of the house, but also the nice views from windows and doors if you have them.
-Avoid realtors that tell you paint everything neutral- it's one thing to touch up or put on a fresh coat, it's another to undo your decorating. A well coordinated bold color sells better than cream. Trust me.

-Store about half of your stuff in the garage or a storage place. You don't live in your house anymore, get used to it.
-Put in bright light bulbs and have the carpet cleaned. Vacuum religiously.
Good luck!

melissa said...

A realtor with a dog - depends on how willing you are to have a pet.

Based on the other pictures, I'd go with Dominic - most professional picture.

jeleighbean said...

Faye--anyone who looks like Betty White has got to be legit.

HOA Mgr Lady said...

Louise! She has the only truly professional appearance. Why do people take professional pictures with their dogs? Like if I have a dog I will choose them... it's just creeepy I tell ya just plain creepy!
Ruth

thetraywicks said...

The Dragon for sure.

Lissa @ MyThriftyTreasures said...

Um, NOT creepy child molester Roger. And no one who poses with their dog. Do they think that gives them some kind of credibility, as if you have to pass some kind of test to own a dog? Dominic is the best eye candy I would say.

Valerie S said...

Definately Faye

Love,
Faye

Carolyn said...

Please move here--next door to me. And bring snowball with you.

Cindy said...

Why wouldn't you have picked Larry immediately. I mean, really, he's the obvious choice. Well, Dominic could pleasant to work with, too.

craftyashley said...

Here are a few of my thoughts:

Louie and Rosco- Never trust a grown man with a tiny dog.

Dominic- he is HOT! But he looks like he would literally pounce on anything- including prospective buyers and scare them away with his "business eyes."

Faye- Will she even be "around" long enough to sell your house? I have a feeling she's ready to keel over at any minute.

Larry- Never trust a guy with a bad combover. He'd be better suited as a used-car-salesman.

Donny and Snowball- I like him. He has honest eyes. And if you don't pick him, I'm afraid he'd send snowball after you- that dog looks like he's picturing my legs as roast beef on the bone.

Roger- 70's pornstar mustache. No go.

Louise- she seems to have a lot of "under contract" signs just lying around her office. Looks like a big red flag to me!

Lisha said...

I'd go with Rocket Ma'am and pick 3 realtors to interview. Faye and Larry I think would do a good job. I would also throw in Dominic for fun because really followin his behind from room to room would definately take MY mind off of the stress of moving.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Go with one of the dogs.

Actually, drive around your town/neighborhood and write down the names of all the realtors on the "sold" and "under contract" signs. Look those guys up, especially if they've got multiples, because at least they're moving real estate.

Anonymous said...

They all scare me!!! Keep looking...

H

Mal said...

One question: Which one is Louis and which is Rosco?

Mal said...

Oh, and p.s. maybe you should keep your children away from Roger.

Mandy and Alex said...

Not Roger! He looks creepy!

I'd go with the Dragon. :)

Kim Ginsberg said...

Roger and Larry look like they are going to kill you in your sleep. I have to agree with Steph - drive around, look at the sold signs, see who's workin’. I can only hope its Donny and Snowball. If you pick them, you must insist that Snowball accompany you in whatever real estate matters you attend to. If nothing else, Snowball could be great motivation for your kids - "If you don't clean your room, Snowball can't come over to play!"

Shannon said...

Oh my gosh. Dominic. PLEASE Dominic! I can't get enough of him!And not in a "he's so hot" kind of way (seriously? are your readers crazy? He looks like he's one roofie shy of taking advantage of the entire neighborhood you're scouting out. while benchpressing all of the neighbors' dogs. And not breaking a sweat. And laughing all the while. Ew ew ew). Followed so so so closely by Roger. Now HE'S hot!

Audrey said...

faye, hands down.

Callie said...

Donny and Snowball for SURE!

Kim Ginsberg said...

Oh, and I must compliment you, and my fellow readers - today's post, and subsequent replies had me laughing harder at work than should be allowed...
Thanks!

TORI said...

I like Faye - she looks like Betty White - if she is as awesome as Betty White - then go with her. Avoid Larry. Oh and Dominic - YUMMO!

TORI said...

quoting kim "Roger and Larry look like they are going to kill you in your sleep." that's funny stuff. I just literally LOL - literally. oMG

Ruthykins said...

Faye. Definately Faye. she's the only one that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable.

Kelli said...

Dominic. Definitely Dominic.

A couple of the others scream 'used car salesman!' and a couple look like they were taken 30 years ago.

Anonymous said...

I would have to say none of them. I'm the kind of person that I have to us some one that I have heard they have done an excellent job and they are good at what they do. If you live in Utah, goo with Spencer contact him at spencer@utahcribs.com. He is awesome and is in the 10 ten realtors office in the region.

Em said...

I would definitely check out a list of registered sex offenders before selecting one of these guys.

Tiffany said...

So, to summarize the 69 comments I have read. Dominic is HOT! I totally agree! Plus - the dragon? I agree with Lin that he probably has a night job with the Chippendale Dancers!

Sims Family said...

Pick Larry. He didn't just jump in during the bubble expansion. He looks like he's been in the biz for years!

Anonymous said...

Dear potential buyer,
I would like to recommend myself to be your agent. I have 40+ years of experience and I specialize in selling to "mean" moms. I build such strong relationships with my clients that often times I end up living with them for years on end. THIS is what motivates me to find the very best property in the very best neighborhood for YOU (us)!
Thank you for your consideration,
Faye!

Nancy said...

It's between Dominic the Dragon (the cute guy) and Donny and Snowball. Snowball looks very trustworthy, and I think would make a great Realtor, but I am not so sure about her pet human....

christine said...

Louise. She looks less creepy than Larry and Roger. I wouldn't go for anyone who looks like he'd rather be fighting in the MMA so "the dragon' is definitely out. And why with the dogs? Really? Your dog is the biggest thing in your life? And Faye. Poor Faye. All I could think of was "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. Dumill."

Anonymous said...

I think Louise is the only one that doesn't look like a joke.

debkaplan said...

CHOOSE ME, CHOOSE ME!!
I am a realtor in the Philly area and would love to work with a client who has a sense of humor like you do. I just started reading your blog (slightly before David!) and always find it entertaining. I agree that it is important that we laugh our way through life, and especially as parents!
Check out my website- www.debkaplan.com

I have a picture with or another without dog-you can pick which one you like better.
Best of luck with your move!

Rose said...

Louise! Her "under contract" sign shows she can get the job done.
We're also moving to the Sunshine State. Our house has been on the market for 3 weeks now. I just LOVE keeping the house showable & clean w/ a baby. I can't imagine doing it with 4... Good luck to you!

momma23 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Audra said...

The Dragon!! He is hot!

Olivia Singleton said...

Dominic "The Dragon"! I'd choose him not only for a real estate agent but for many other things as well! Mainly eye candy. And maybe my pool boy.

Tarcoulis said...

Rosco and Snowball. They know where the fire hydrants are - safety first!

Anonymous said...

Dominic

Lori said...

Dominic for sure ... You need someone to be very aggressive during a house sale ... but as a side note, I wouldn't BUY from him.

Cindy said...

The two dogs! Snowball and, is it Rosco? Or is it Louie?

Angela Noelle of Striking Keys said...

The first one.

Katherine said...

Which is Louis and which is Rosco?

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

I would pick Dominic because he looks good. Not too sure about the others. They all look a little shady. Good luck.

Just Me said...

Dominic - hulloh!

Whitney said...

Donny and Snowball from left to right???? Hmmmm. . .

The Fyllings said...

Snowball

enSTYLEpedia said...

I vote Louise or the Dragon, they equally look like they will work FOR YOU! as it should be.

Robin said...

"The Dragon" looks like the only one with a RECENT picture.....I would pick him....lol!

Seriously... said...

all i have to say is Roger isn't going to take any crap from anyone.

Seriously... said...

though i do like rosco's (or is it louie's) sassy attitude....

Molly said...

I hope snowball is the man. Really.

Shaken Mama said...

In these tough times (for realtors), maybe you could suggest a pairing. Like Dominic and Faye (hot dude and his wise grandma), or Donny and Louise (holy "Moonlighting!").

Paperwhite Designs said...

OMGosh!!!! I just chocked on my drink!!!! That is hilarious!!!! I am the same way!!! Wait... are we long lost sisters:)

Lucy Bowman said...

You should go with Donny only if he will agree to bring Snowball to all of your meetings.Faye doesn't have time to get you a nice house, she is too busy posing. Dominic the Dragon, however, looks very intense and may also be a good candidate to find you your dream home.=) Good luck with your plethora of amazing options!

Lani said...

Yuck- none of those!

Michelle said...

Faye seems a little too into the whole modeling thing for her picture. She would rather get beauty sleep instead of slaving over your real estate options.

I like the guy with snowball.

Megan said...

Roger....fo sho!!

A Musing Mother said...

Larry! I swear he is wearing the tie my dad gave to good will in 1978.

Can't get more honest than that.

Tonya said...

Faye makes me think the Poltergeist lady! She's even looking up at that place in the ceiling that makes you slimy when you crawl through it!

Angi Snyder said...

Dominic is hot. Go for him.
Faye wouldn't find your children amusing at all. Trust me, I used her male counterpart briefly as a realtor.
Richard's pic is most likely linked to a porn sight, because nobody has a stache like that unless are a porn star.

AmFriend said...

Dominic
Donny and Snowball
Louise

~j. said...

When looking for a realtor, I'd really like someone with a . . . well, with a dog. How will I be able to tell if they own a -- waitaminute. Awesome!

queenoftheawesome said...

Definitely Faye. She's got the sweet old lady look with maybe a little sass behind those eyes. Like she could drive a tough bargain. I don't know if that's a good thing. Okay, maybe not Faye. I guess keep looking...? Good luck!

MermaidMommy said...

i'd go with Dominic. He looks gay. Gay men are great at nit picking at houses and will find one thats close to perfect.

Dalton said...

Clearly the answer is Snowball, she looks reliable. haha

Melinda said...

We just finished with that business; we're selling our home and all we did was pick an agency we liked and they chose the agent. (We had it easy because they were the same agency that SOLD us our house, though.)

Aaron and Jessica said...

Isn't Reid from the Bachelorette-Jillian season from Philly? Maybe you can look him up! :) He has to be better than any of these choices!

kerrie said...

Dominic...his "curb appeal" is likely to draw people into your home.

Heather said...

Roger- he looks like he could give a deal of the century

Marcus and Nicole Asay said...

Is Dominics nickname really the Dragon? Ooooh, that sounds tough-he means business. Choose him!!!

Angela McBride said...

You need "The Dragon" in your cornner!

vanilla said...

I don't see how you could go wrong.

Brooke said...

The dragon, for sure. This is the funniest post EVER!

Jennifer said...

Donny and Snowball simply because his dog is AWESOME!

Mark said...

Louise - by process of elimination. No one posing w/dogs can be called professional unless it's the Iditarod. No mustaches, period. No one nicknamed "the Dragon" (unless it's a fire sale...). And Faye looks like she'd be good for a seance or palm readin.

Amanda E. said...

Faye...but only if she's anything like Betty White. ;-)

Jamie said...

so funny! really though, why are realtors taking professional pictures with a dog??

Molly said...

Jana - you are so funny...I wish you were moving next to me! Is this seriously what you've narrowed it down to??

cAM said...

Realtors! I think that if you fail enough job interviews, then you automatically end up trying to be a Realtor. As a Realtor, I've collected a "Best Of" wall of Business cards over the past 8 years of ridiculous Realtors and their photos. My favorite, (found 2 years ago) a woman with whorish lipstick holding an old school rotary phone to her ear with the bungie chord. Nothing says professionalism like a LAN line from 1978. To get your home sold without working with an idiot, call me at 801-232-7145. *Shameless Plug!

Lysa said...

Cameron White..8012327145 Im serious, We used him he was awesome. Loved him

Staci said...

hahaha! Those realtor pics ALWAYS crack me up! My choice? Dominic the dragon!

Michal said...

the Dragon looks as though...maybe...you should choose someone else for the actual job, but string him on a bti to see if you can get a picture of him without his shirt. THEN go Faye all the Way.

Jen said...

Faye will allow you to bring your kids so they can "feel" at home while they destroy the furnishings.

I want to know what "contract" she's under. Like a hooker contract?!

Abby Van Stone said...

There's something to be said about a man with a pocket pet... I vote for Team Rosco! :oD

Emily said...

Hmmmmmm, I say Dominic too. But, leave the kids home with hubby while you go look at houses with "The Dragon" all day ;)

Also, remind me to NEVER look for a realtor in FL.....

Amy Williams said...

may i interest you in a 6th choice...

fsbo

= FOR SALE BY OWNER!

it's risky in this market, but i wouldn't risk all that therapy!

Tracey said...

Louie and Rosco, hands down....he loves dogs, so how bad can he be? And he is older, so hopefully has years of experience under his belt..plus, he just has that 'honest look' about him. Dominic was choice number two, but I just do not trust that fox! ;-)
Are these REALLY your choices?? LOL You do crack me up....

AlsoMean said...

I picked a realtor who gently bugged me and kept me on track with all the little tasks like my mom might do - except without the 40 yr of emotional baggage I get with my mom.

Raelin said...

Is it me?? Or does Louise's face look like she has something wedged somewhere uncomfortable behind the sign?

Wow.. if these were my options.. I might have to think about just letting one of my kids do it.

Miss Ellaneous said...

I like Donny and Snowball the best, but am I the only one who thinks that Snowball looks like a stuffed dog? If that is the case, definitely pick them. Any guy who does his job with his taxidermic dog by his side is guaranteed to get the job done.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so I seriously thought that WAS a picture of Betty White at first, and only upon a second look did I realize it was not. For the love - Faye, all the way! Anyone who takes that much care of that appearance at her age is certain to mind all the details, no?

Beth said...

Snowball is my choice.

sanjeet said...

A realtor with a dog - depends on how willing you are to have a pet.
post free classified ads

Sexy Naptime said...

I would hire JUST the dog--you can distract him with meat and get a better deal

Bethany said...

I'd go with Dominic myself. LOL!

Ann said...

I think there is a good chance Larry is dead or 85 at the present time. Don't you have a nice normal realtor in Philly? ; )