June 13, 2010

Your Invited to Dinner At Our House

THE MENU

Appetizer: Instant Oatmeal, cooked for 8 minutes sans water



Main Course: Slice of Pizza doused with 11 packets of hot pepper

Dessert: Cheese Sandwich


Independence in the kitchen does not come easy. Nor is it cheap. This week alone, Cortlen started a fire in the microwave, Kellen sacrificed half of an extra-large pizza to the gods, and Camber learned the hard way that cheese sticks taste better when they are not wrapped.

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What amazing feasts have your kids prepared in your kitchen?

37 comments

grammaDawn said...

My uncle, in his childhood years, made himself a ginger snap and ketchup sandwich. However he doesn't recommend it to anyone, no matter how hungry you are.

JEN said...

peanut butter, ketchup and mustard sandwich. which was eaten entirely. my son says, "I like it... see Mom (takes a bite) YUM. I said yum, so I like it!" he was 3 at the time.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

For Mother's Day, I got a Kraft cheese single (still wrapped) and Nilla wafers breakfast-in-bed "feast."

Angi said...

Last night my youngest (5) made a concoction, as we refer to them, where he taco meat, sour cream, guacamole, soy sauce, and ketchup. He then dipped tortilla chips in his concoction and declared it "Perfect!" And that's just last night. He's been known to combine all kinds of strange things. Once I helped him made a sandwich with pretty much a little of everything in the fridge. It looked gross but he ate a few bites.

Angi from Tim and Angi's Family Blog

Mary said...

Yikes! I will pass on the meal but I will correct your grammar. Your title says YOUR invited and it should say YOU'RE (as in You Are). Sorry - English teacher in me!

Gina said...

Hah! When I was a teen, I was learning to bake and made cookies that were so terrible that a 4 year old wouldn't eat them.

happyfamily said...

When I was little I was following a recipe in the betty crocker kid's cookbook. The recipe was for a chocolate malt, but instead of making it with chocolate, they claimed, you could make it with jam. We didn't have ice cream, so I mixed milk with jam and a pinch of salt. It wasn't good- too sweet, so I added more salt. Still didn't taste right. More jam, more salt, kept tasting disgusting. My parents came home and found that I had used a lot of my dad's precious boysenberry jam. I was forced to drink the rest of that salty/sweet concoction, and remeber its taste to this day.

Mal said...

Hilarious! Your family keeps me laughing!

ColleenandKendra said...

Funny that I read your blog post just as my daughter is in the kitchen as we speak. She started out with the endeavor to make "make-up" but when I explained we don't apply flour to our faces, she now claims it is just an experiment. So far it contains flour, baking soda, a pinch of sugar, salt, and water. She says she's excited to have an alien taste it. Good, because I'm not! :-)

Robin said...

One of my son's favorite sandwiches is a "butter, peanut butter, chocolate (Nutella), & jelly (grape or strawberry) sandwich." And the thing is, he eats the WHOLE thing. If he is REALLY hungry, he will add sliced turkey or ham, and a slice of cheese.

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

Unfortunately I have no tales to tell because my fave sandwich (apricot jam and cheese) is completely normal and delish.

Hubby's sister however once made lasagna with a WHOLE garlic bulb instead of one clove (thus taking out an entire suburb of vampires) and a friend of his mistook tabasco sauce for tomato once and drowned his meal with it....

Stephanie said...

My younger sister once tried making a recipe of frosting, except she used regular granulated sugar. When I asked her why, she said we didn't have any confectioner's sugar. After a while I asked her if she was aware that confectioner's sugar is actually just powdered sugar. Yeah, oops. The frosting turned out very, um, interesting. The funny thing is that this happened when she was about 23 years old...

Karen Mortensen said...

I can't relate to this but it is funny. Did anybody eat it?

The Taskers said...

I was banned from the kitchen at age 13 when I decided that surely Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix with a bit of water cooked in the microwave would work just as well as the choc cake mix you make in the kiddy oven (I forget what that contraption was called). Guess what - it doesn't.

A lot of lawn mowing ensued after that to pay for a new microwave.

Yvette said...

I once made a peanut butter jelly with melted cheese and ketchup when I was a kid. I remember it was mmmmm delish. I pretended it was anyway to prove to my cousin that I was right and she was wrong.Its a bummer when pride gets in the way. You know I don't think I ever produced one of those again.

Christine said...

My husband and I came home from a date night to a fried microwave and a house that smelled like burnt popcorn. The result of the kids trying to make popcorn resulted in a microwave fire and a horrible smell that lasted for weeks!

Anonymous said...

The six minute microwave burrito. Needless to say, we got a new microwave.

hydee ann said...

i always take photos of their interesting concoctions! one of my favorites i can only describe as a bagel sandwich - it was a bagel inside two pieces of bread.

they've also overcooked items to resemble your oatmeal. after one extremely smokey experience brought on by pusing the #5 button and cooking a cheese crisp for five minutes, the wise 3 year old told me, 'mom, don't push "smoke;" it's in the middle.' gotta love it.

agent99 said...

Hysterical. Sorry about the bowl though. Timely too - check my blog to read about the Klondike Rebellion. Many Klondike were harmed, but they made sure to take out all the other persecuted food in the freezer. I've declared "no dessert for the rest of your life!!"

Anonymous said...

[in a small voice]

I make butter, peanut butter, and dorito sandwiches for myself. And butter, raspberry jam, and American cheese, sandwiches, too. My family thinks me mad. They might be right, but, gosh those sandwiches taste good to me -- it's the sweet and salt combo, I think. T.

Mommymel said...

Mine was minute rice, lima beans, and broccoli with lots of soy sauce. I wanted fried rice but what I got was just awful.

KK said...

This weekend, Noah 7, had a sandwich made of ham, pickles, and chocolate syrup on wheat bread. He ate the whole thing.

Kim Ginsberg said...

My son's are still too little to reach the microwave (3 and 7mo) but I know the delish food preparation is coming soon. I made brownies by myself for the first time when I was about 6 and I followed the directions exactly, however I didn’t think it mattered what pan they cooked in, and the first one I found was a cookie sheet. I wanted to surprise my mom for Mothers day with them... Needless to say - she was surprised, when the smoke alarm went off at 7AM!
My brother, still to this day, makes the “Thanksgiving Special”. Turkey, Mashed Potato, gravy, cranberry preserve, stuffing, pickles, squash and green bean casserole, on bread. Yes, he does pick it up, and gets through 2-3 bites before the thing suffers structural collapse and needs to be eaten with a fork n knife. He wonders why he’s the only one at the table eating…

Anonymous said...

my husband dumps cinnamon in our spaghetti sauce! I hate it.

adhocmom said...

I can't say any amazing feasts have been prepared. . but I do know this. Orange fruitables juice boxes taste damn good with a shot of rum. Before you go calling social services. That's for me. It's been a long, long day.

Madeline said...

A perfect post for a Monday night! Thank you for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

embarassingly it looks like things I did when I was first married because I was spoiled...and really never cooked for myself. Your post also reminds me of website I found not too long ago. I don't want to spell out profanity on your blog but if you spelled out the four letter word that starts with "s" and then add mykidsruined.com I think you could appreciate it as I do that while your kids have done some goodies...some of them they thankfully have not mastered.

Deanna said...

My 12 yr old thinks he is a chef and loves cooking. His specialties include top ramen, hotdogs and mini frozen pizzas (in the micro) and elaboarate ham and cheese sandwiches.

His siblings often request his cooing over mine. My feelings are not hurt. I even switched to buying 1/2 gallons of milk instead of gallons just because he can pour from the half gallons - one less job for me!!

Audrey Hammer said...

My oldest, 10, lives on peanut butter. He does not like anything else. His favorite meals are peanut butter sandwiches filled with crackers (saltines, graham crackers, etc.) and peanut butter tortillas. The younger kids have started copying him.

Miss Ellaneous said...

That is soo funny! I'm sorry but that is about all I can say about that.

Stef said...

A couple of weeks ago my kid decided she wanted to put banana in her scrambled eggs. We named the dish Huevos Chiquita. She will never live it down. :)

marybt said...

My 2 year old broke a dozen eggs on her dad's head the other day while he was napping.

Jenny Lou said...

My two year old cooked oatmeal just like that!!!! It didn't start a fire, but it was close to it. The microwave still smells like smoke!!!!

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