July 31, 2010

Exposed

This morning, I made my weekly pilgrimage to Marshalls. I rarely buy anything at the discount clothing store, but if given enough time, I will try on just about everything.

Some people have productive hobbies like running and stamping. I like to try on clothes that I have no intention of purchasing.

Usually I take care of business in the designated place for such activities (AKA the dressing room). Today, however, I had a reason to be socially inappropriate. I had Cameron with me and he decided very early on that he was going to wage war with the shopping cart's seat belt. My time was short.

I was in the middle of the store when I decided to slip a blouse on over the one that I was wearing. I could tell immediately that the shirt was too big and so I took it off and hung it back on the hanger and continued sifting through the rack.

Here's where the gods punished me for my perpetual window shopping.

After I put the shirt back on the rack, it took me a full 30 seconds to realize that I was walking around the store in just my underwear.

Don't ask me to explain how I didn't notice a) that I was topless and b) that my shirt was stuffed inside the blouse that I had hung back on the rack. My husband has asked me these questions several times today, and the answers still elude me.

All I do know is that when I realized what I had done, I dove to the ground and army-crawled to the blouse. When I stood up again, three other shoppers had their hands over their mouths.

One said loudly to her friend, "What does that woman think she's doing?"

Once again, I do not have answers to these kinds of questions.

93 comments

Misti said...

I've never commented before, but I couldn't let this pass. O.M.G. that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I rank trying on clothes as one of my most hated activities and would probably DIE if that happened to me.

Dazee Dreamer said...

A true walmart moment, even if it wasn't at walmart. I would have loved to have been there and snapped a picture of you.

Cuddles, Kisses & Tantrums said...

I LOVE it! Once I drove all the way to my husbands work to surprise him with lunch, just to discover I had forgotten to put my shirt on. In my defense, it was summer in Phoenix and I had a 3 week old newborn. Still the humiliation has never subsided!

Kayla said...

OMG! I would blame it on the kids! I think you just made my night!

Karen Mortensen said...

Knowing what kind of underware you have, I can totally understand how you could not have noticed. I am impressed that you shared this story. I wouldn't go back to that store for awhile.

Molly said...

This is always what happensnin my bad dreams, I can't believe that happened to you in real life! I always knew having kids slowly killed off a mothers brain cells....I have 4, so I don't have very many left! Thanks for the laugh,

Carrie Stuart said...

Oh my goodness, thanks for the hearty laugh! I have almost done similar things (luckily, before actually leaving the house), so I can totally understand how this could happen. Thanks for sharing!

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

I seriously laughed out loud at this one. Normally LOL just means a snigger but this was a proper belly laugh. I can't believe you managed this. :)

my word verification is unsin. is this somehow relevant??

annie said...

where as you don't live in an overly populated garm wearing area, they probably just thought you had your bra over your tshirt! Hope it was a cute one!

Donna said...

It's almost that Naked Nightmare everyone has come true!

Donda said...

OMG! I still have my hand over my mouth! I would have been mortified!

Ruthykins said...

ha ha! love it!

MommyJ said...

I wish I could tell you this has happened to me so that you might feel a little better. But no. I've embarrassed myself a thousand other ways, but not by removing my shirt in public.

Thanks for sharing... best laugh I've had all night.

Donda said...

and reminds me of this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05N1MquRgdM hehehehe

Dayna said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

That is hilarious. I can't believe you didn't notice right away. I'm still chuckling.

Megan said...

That brought joy to my heart.
Awesome.

Michelle said...

hahaha this is the best thing I've heard all week! My worst nightmare!! (Is is bad that I'm just glad it was you and not me?)


I. love. you.

A Musing Mother said...

I think I just peed my pants just a little bit. Again. Stop it.

Marissa said...

Bhwahaahhaha! Glad it was you not me.

Melynda King said...

Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!!!!

Molly said...

All I can say is, I love you for posting this. If you have kids, I think any last shred of propriety is gone. We do what we do for survival.

Connie said...

That is what nightmares are made of! I can honestly see how something like that can happen; distracted by the kids, trying to hurry and especially if you're wearing DriLux.

You made my night!

Skinner Family said...

Just as good as the time I took my jersey t-shirt off at the church softball game.... and took off my other shirt I wore to the game before I had the jersey one. Did I mention it was a Co-Ed Softball game? At least my husband was there... and asking, "What are you doing?"

Raelin said...

I am sure David will add this to his list of examples on how you are a bad mom. I mean come on.. wearing your underware in public..

*snort*

Ana said...

Oh my. Never had that happened. My worst is trying on clothes in a dressing room with my two oldest boys (8 and 6) to their embarassing, not to mention boisterous, commentary of "Mum's in her underwear!"
"Mummy has a FAT tummy!!"

Suddenly - doesn't seem so bad ;)

Brandon and Sarah said...

Well, at least you didn't have your paper underwear on ;).

I bet if you did a lesson on modesty, rather than education, for the YW this could be a great opening story and they would pay attention (at least in the beginning)!

Shanin said...

I thought the classics were behind you, not so much... I died laughing at 5:50am, thank you.

Kelly said...

Are you sure you didn't do that just so you could blog about it?! What a great story!

Jennifer said...

Pfff, I do this all the time. I mean, who doesn't??

Lindsey said...

Aaaaaand this is why I have a major girl crush on you.

Not the half naked in Marshall's part.

The part where you ADMITTED to it.

FabuLeslie said...

Tough questions indeed. I'm thinking there's some kind of drug in your coffee other than caffeine. Those little kiddos really know how to get ya!

Patricia said...

Just like you, always trying to show off.

Carole said...

OMG...nightmare comes true! I thought walking to the car in my slippers was bad.

Suzanne said...

At least you had underwear on!!! LOL. I have never done that, but I did spend almost 5 minutes looking for the phone yesterday, only to have it in my hand the entire time.

Dee said...

I've had that nightmare, but never actually experienced it during waking hours. YIKES! I love the comment that it was a "Walmart moment"! No one would have noticed or cared for that matter!

brossettelewis said...

At least you were covered...it could have been a little bit worse if were just a bra {giggle}. Time to google for a TJ Maxx or new hobby.

(un)Deniably Domestic said...

Sounds like something I might do...Oh my, Thank you for the laugh even though it was at your expense. ~Kelly

unDeniably Domestic

Anonymous said...

You lived that dream--the one we have all had about being naked and SLOWLY trying to find our clothes because we can't move quickly. I laughed A LOT.

Colette said...

I haven't laughed that hard in days... :) Thanks for the giggle, even if it was at the price of your dignity. Love your blog, keep writing!

Jessica said...

Love it! Your blog will always make my day! Thanks for exposing your life so that I know I am not crazy alone and I can have a laugh as well!

megan said...

THIS post made me laugh so hard I almost woke my napping 3 year old...and I wouldn't have cared!!! THAT.WAS.TOO.FUNNY.FOR.WORDS!!!!!!!!!!

Destiny said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

Mrs. M. said...

OH MY GOSH. I am dying. You are hilarious!

Tricia ~~ Handmade Whimzy said...

This is why I wear undies and bras from Victoria Secret. I may buy all my clothes at discount/clearance racks but my underwear looks GOOD.

I once had to open my too heavy suitcase at the check-in counter of the airport so that I could transfer some of the heavier stuff over to a lighter suitcase.
There were probably 50 people watching me move my stuff from one suitcase to the other. BUT at least all my underwear on top was really pretty, and in different colors and all from Victoria's Secret.

I felt no shame at all (and was only a little embarrassed).

Teen Queen said...

that is absolutely hilarious. once i was at school and i took off a pullover sweatshirt and my shirt started to come with it. luckily i was just with my friends in the corner of the gym.

AlsoMean said...

gotta shop with a kid who can say "Mommy, where is your shirt?"

Anonymous said...

ha ha!
Happened to me at the bridal wedding dress event at Filene's Basement in Boston - kind of a famous event around here - everyone just tries on dresses right where they are and I lost my white tee-shirt - had to search fro it under racks of wedding dresses. Exposed!
deb

Emily said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Laughing....too...hard...to...type....

[ker-AND-uh] said...

BAAHAHAHAHAHA! that is just TOO funny! Wow. I'm so glad that's never happened to me! I would've been rolling had I seen it though. lol no offense. Hehehehe! This is just so funny. Embarrasing...but funny.

isabelle said...

haha. i love ur blog. who cares why it happened. I think its just hilarious

Isabelle
Come visit my blog!

THE PILONSTEIN BLOG

Nikki said...

Had I been witness to this event I would have asked someone to take our picture - I mean, come on, you are practically a celebrity!

But no worries- I would have been on the floor with you...

Beth said...

Great post!

Janis said...

Good God! You make me laugh so hard! You are making quite the name for yourself in Florida. :)

mama loquita said...

Jana, this happened to me once! I was probably in 4th or 5th grade. I had just bought my first bra and it was the sports kind. It was summer and I was at my neighbour's house having a snack in the kitchen with her older brother and his friend. It was pretty hot so I just took my t-shirt off, thinking I had a bathing suit on instead of a sports bra! My friend started looking at me with funny faces and I'll never forget her brother's face of disbelief! After a few minutes of stares I finally looked at myself and realized I was in a bra!!! I fell off the chair and ran into their backyard and never visited my neighbours again that summer. Thanks for bringing back memories. You are not alone!!!!!

Christian's Mom said...

Oh the hilarity! I finally feel better about my 'pants falling down at work' debacle a few weeks ago. You're not alone - I must have walked 20 feet or more in the middle of a busy office with my pants around my ankles before I noticed the inappropriate breeze!!!

Sarah Sharp said...

How awful and how hilarious! I would be mortified! At least it wasn't paper underwear... right?

I found your blog through a friend's and I have been hooked!

Rocket Ma'am said...

I've done this in that I have half-dressed, paused to get kids ready and then forgotten. Fortunately, I've noticed or they've noticed before we were at least out of the neighborhood. "Mom, how come you get to wear slippers to church?" "Mom, are you going to put on pants today?"
Ironically, in taking the kids to school that way, I would have fit right in with some of the parents- that is, the ones with tramps stamps.

Stefany said...

I once nursed my baby in the doctor's office after he had some shots. Somehow, I forgot to button my blouse back up. Not quite as revealing, but I got some interesting looks before realizing it after leaving the office.

Dave & Heather said...

Reminds me of the time I was running late to work and threw on some scrubs and ran out the door - only to discover that I had completely forgotten a bra. Some people can get away without one, but when you're a DD, people notice. That was one LONG 12-hour shift. Luckily there were no emergencies to send me running down the halls.
Also, when I was breastfeeding my son, I failed to notice he had pulled one of the "boob windows" open on my shirt and I was walking around with my boob hanging out for who knows how long.

Dalton said...

I just laughed out loud at work. This is so funny, because I can totally see this happening. There is a certain part of me that is always distracted when my daughter is in tow and I'm lucky to have made it this far (3 years) without this happening to me...yet. The only thing that comes close is having to run through the changing rooms in various states of undress chasing a toddler who has crawled out of your room into someone elses.

Breezi@ Not Your Average Fairytale said...

I agree with Karen's comment: With the kind of Und-a-roo's that we have... it's pretty easy to forget that your not wearing a shirt. I almost answered the door without a shirt on for the Schwan's man.Thank goodness my hubs brought it to my attention. I don't think the schwan's man would deliver to me anymore ... and that would have made me cry.

HILARIOUS STORY!!!

tarichuck said...

Too funny! I also can't believe I haven't managed something similar while trying to get things done with a 3yr old in tow. Although I'm pretty sure I've escorted a dog or two into the yard in my undies to keep from having to clean the carpet...

Maureen said...

holy crap that is so awesome. i hate to add another comment that just says "haha, very funny" but seriously. i can't resist commenting on this one.
HA. HA.
This is probably one of my favorite posts ever.

Olivia Singleton said...

If I assume correctly, at least your underwear covers a little more than your traditional underwear. Maybe that is one of the purposes of garments! Extra protection when your shirt gets tucked into the shirt you're slipping off in public.

Vicky said...

I am speechless....snort, snort!!

kerrie said...

HILARIOUS.

Jana said...

Totally did this... but I had my husband there to alert me.
I think you described almost my exact experience

mu rye uh said...

I love this! I am glad you were wearing a bra though yes? Hopefully somethin' didn't pop out on your pilgramage back to the rack. hahaha thanks for sharing the laugh :)

Wendy said...

H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!!!!!!!! I am dying over here...so glad I stumbled upon your blog, now I can get my laugh on daily!

Kim Ginsberg said...

BWAHHHHHAHAH HAH! This is why I love you Jana :) I'll bet you're google mapping your way to a new Marshalls now - right?!
I had a similar experience, I was rushing (as always) to get ready for work one morning, threw on a skirt, tights and a sweater and jumped in the car to drop off the boys. I didn't realize till my son said "Mommy I can see your underwear! Do you want to see mine?" when I was running him into his pre-school, that I realized the back of my skirt was stuck in the waistband of my tights. I just about died, and then wanted to switch my son's school with the one across town...

Question to the commenter’s - what kind of undies/bra's are you wearing that you wouldn't notice your shirt was off?! I either really need these, or need to avoid them like the plague, as I would forget to put things on.

Thanks for the laugh Jana!

Laura said...

You've got to be making that up. Please tell me you were wearing sexy LDS underwear.

Anonymous said...

what, no picture for this post?? ;-)

The redhead said...

Oh.my.gosh. This is a classic example of what I like to call mommy brain. And I could see myself doing this...just like how I left our car door open, all night long.

mama rose said...

You're in Florida now,most folks won't give it a second thought. AT leat you had undewear on,stick around for a while and you'll see what I mean. LOL

jenn said...

Too funny hope you look good in your bra.

jenn
http://momentsofelegance.com

Andie said...

Oh my gosh!!! I don't know what else to say except that is hysterical!!!!

Megan said...

that's my worst fear.

Sarahviz said...

Dying.Laughing.

Methinks they may have your face on a "Wanted for Indecent Exposure" poster in Marshalls now! Heh.

Anonymous said...

I can imagine that happening to me. I think things like this happens once you've had kids--the brain just doesn't function the way it used to.

Angie said...

And now my day is complete- thank you, thank you.

Amy @ Creativity Finder said...

Thanks! I needed to laugh out loud today!

Shanna said...

I am a singer/performer. I was in a show. Last night our show played I was making my way to the front of the stage the second I got to the center top of the stage my heavy skirt fell off.... and hit the floor. I was wearing a nude thong. nough said

Kate said...

Oh my goodness...this may be - truly - the funniest thing I've EVER read. Wow.

I'm so sorry. :-D

Rachel said...

So do you make these stories up?? Or are they exaggerated? Come on--they MUST be!

Kristin said...

Oh, you just made my day!

Shelbey said...

I've never commented here before, but this seriously made me laugh out loud! That is the funniest story ever!! Oh man, good stuff.

Katie Colter said...

I just laughed till I cried. Thanks for that. lol.

Nicole said...

i just laughed so hard i think my water broke.

two beauties and the crazy beast! said...

O my that brought tears to my eyes!!

Cassandra Dworchak said...

That is fantastic! I am notorious for trying on clothes at the rack. Because really, who wants to drag the kids and the baby into a dressing room where you are then confined to a 4 foot by 5 foot space with them and trying to discern if you really DO look fat in that dress? This post may sway me though to head for the fitting room!

Anonymous said...

@Kim Ginsberg: In case you come back and read this, Mormons wear special "garments" under their clothes--even under the bra, if you're a woman, so she wouldn't have really been "showing off" much.

Tracey said...

This is the stuff of nightmares! I just know I will have a dream that I am in the street completely starkers...again! LOL

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