August 26, 2010
Car Booster Seats
My biggest regret in life is not buying three matching car booster seats. Instead, I purchased them piecemeal, and didn't assign any of them to any specific child. The result is that the booster seat with the most padding and biggest cup holder has turned into a national treasure.
"They're all the same!" I shrieked for the millionth time this morning. Cortlen beat his siblings to the car and was sitting in the prized object. Kellen was sitting in Corlten's lap and refusing to move. Camber was collapsed in a heap on the driveway. Despair was written all over her face.
"This is ridiculous," I continued. "Do you realize that you are fighting over a CAR SEAT?"
Everyone was conscious of that fact and agreed that the object was worth the risk of mortal injury.
If it wasn't against the law, I would have tossed the booster seat into the trash can and made them all go without.
After dropping them off at school, I thought of a better idea. My plans for the next hour include removing the seat cover and whacking off the cup holder with a hammer.