August 27, 2010

Shoes

My husband and I have spent a considerable chunk of the past two years worrying about our youngest son. Cameron was born with some problems related to his contraction of a virus in utero and has struggled in nearly every area of growth and development. My worries compound considerably on days like today, when Cameron was around kids roughly his same age.

I came home from the park stressed, frustrated, and in desperate need of a Coke. After kicking off my shoes and removing Cameron's at the front door, I made my way to the refrigerator. When I returned, I found that my son had taken his shoes and put them inside of mine.

A small gesture and a tender reminder of what I know, but too often forget: namely, that while most of our kids eventually will get where they're going, some will walk with us a little while longer than others.

83 comments

Marissa said...

What a tender moment. Thanks for sharing!

The Richardson's said...

So sweet. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy the journey and be grateful for what I have.

Lori L. Miggins said...

Wonderful post today! Just beautiful! Thank you!

Lori said...

You're a wise momma. One of the reasons why Cameron was entrusted to you.

Laurie said...

That's just precious.

Hamlet\'s Mistress said...

Heart-warmingly precious. And lovely words to go with a poinant picture.

jeleighbean said...

What a beautiful picture. You are a lucky momma, indeed. :)

Mom said...

What a sweet boy. :-)

Jamie said...

well said

amyrose said...

Yeah, it's those moments, isn't it? Thanks for sharing.

Christy said...

That made me tear up. I too have a daughter who will always be behind and this reminded me how precious it can be. Thank you!

Lisa, An American Mom said...

So sorry to hear about your struggles with Cameron but what a sweet and poignant reminder of how special all children are. Thank you for sharing with us... children are such gifts.

Aelysium said...

I hardly ever comment here, but this post brought tears to my eyes, and I just had to say that you are so brave for putting yourself out there in your blog. This was such a sweet post, thank you for sharing.

Emily said...

Beautiful post. I need to look for more of these little reminders.

Malou said...

a sweet reminder. thanks for sharing. you are a wonderful mom. :)

Anonymous said...

I have a son on the autism spectrum. Thank the LORD he is highly functioning. Some days are more challenging than others.

I've come to accept the fact that he will always be a little bit behind. My hope is that he will be with us for as long as he needs to be and then fly off on his own.

Blessings to you and Cameron. He will be just fine! :)

starnes family said...

Such a great story. I'd print that one out and frame it. Seriously.

Emily Heizer Photography said...

This was beautiful Jana. I hoped you gave Camie some good snuggles and kisses today and that he made you feel much better! Wonderful piece today!

Donna said...

What a sweet son you have. I'm glad you can remember to cherish the moments with your children cuz that's easy to forget in the day-to-day mess of life.

Jo said...

lil tear. A good tear. (sigh) Thanks for sharing.

Mama Muhs said...

I have a Cameron, too! He is a little older than yours (almost 3) and he has autism and is non-verbal and severely delayed in most areas. I have had so many days like the one you just described. This brought tears to my eyes!

ebabeelikes said...

Very well said.

Sara said...

Beautiful. Thank you.

mama loquita said...

well, this made me cry too! I have a 16 month old daugther will hip dysplasia that has been in a body cast and now in a brace so she doesn't crawl or walk at all. I have been carrying her a lot and keeping her a lot of very close company since her mind can go places but her little feet can't, especially because she has two very active older brothers. I have friends with babies her age and my heart aches when I see them reach all their developmental milestones and my little girl is behind. I have had a few of days like yours, so I appreciate your post and picture too since she litterally carries her shoes in mine. Just remember when you look back on your tracks and think you are walking alone, who is really carrying you...HE can support you and give your little boy the push he needs to reach all the goals he is supposed to reach in his life. You are the greatest meanest mom I know...;)

TORI said...

I love Cameron so much. I have been saying a special prayer for him since the first diagnosis when you were pregnant. These moments are truly special.

Anonymous said...

That is adorable (and so are your shoes! :)

LRC said...

What a sweet gesture. I live for moments such as these. It's easy to overlook them.

Riahli said...

This brought tears to my eyes... such a heart warming perspective.

Aly said...

I work in early intervention, and every day I spend time with children who are delayed or disabled. And it is the most rewarding, humbling job ever. I feel the enormous amount of love that Heavenly Father, mothers, fathers, and family have for each of these little children who struggle more than others. Cameron is a special spirit, I am sure.

Megan B ♥ said...

Thanks for this. We have a little guy we worry about too, thanks to a very rough start.

xyz said...

Awww, I needed to read that today, as my six month old leaves me sleep deprived again!

Christine said...

I have 2 children who are dwarfs and I can relate to struggling with comparing their abilities and development to others their age.

It was hardest with 1st child who was a dwarf. My son has 4 cousins his same age and some family members always made comments comparing thier babies to mine, making sure to point out the obvious differences. They didn't have a clue of the anguish of my own mental comparisons. It also didn't help that he had hydrocephalis and had to have a shunt put in at 8 months.

Over the years I've learned to just accept and love them at their own level. I've appreciated what they can do, in their own timing and their own terms. I don't do growth charts at my house (though they all know how tall they are in relation to ride hight limits:) and milestones are all personal and never compared to anyone else.

I'm much more at peace now and I'm able to celebrate them without feeling that they are less than in comparison to others.

Thanks for the reminder again to just appreciate them as they are.

Ann Michelle said...

Beautiful!! Thank you for sharing!

craftyashley said...

That is just what I needed. Especially as I am hiding on the internet, listening to the baby do everything BUT take a nap.

DaNelle said...

I love it. You're the best!

Kmarie said...

I needed that reminder. Your son is already changing the life of strangers...infusing wisdom and hope. Thank you.

Lulucarrot said...

I come to you for a laugh and now you remind me of this! I struggle so much with remembering that. My daughter has epilepsy and is so behind and I literally lay awake worrying about her. Thanks for this.

Warden of Chaos said...

You remind us of the funny, crazy moments in parenting, and now you remind us of those hard moments. My favorite part, though, is that when you needed it the most, you were open to the message God sent to you to remind you (and us through this blog) that it's about our own personal moments, not whatever is "normal" these days, and to enjoy them while we have them - too soon they will be gone.

Monkeys Mommy ♥ said...

Oh I love this post!!!!

This Is The Day said...

Wow. I just clicked over hear expecting to laugh and instead you brought a tear to my eye. So sweet!

Mia said...

This is one of the most beautiful, tender things I've read in a long long time.

Stacy said...

love that. my son has down syndrome and some days are a bit harder than others. i needed this sweet reminder today.

Silvina said...

What a sweet sweet sweet post...brought tears to my eyes. That beautiful baby boy of yours is in just the right hands.

Beth said...

This speaks volumes to me...so needed to hear it right now.

Chad and Nicole said...

Beautiful!!

Scentsy Consultant said...

Absolutely Beautiful!

Kailyn J said...

That's just awesome! Great post.

K Jasper said...

What a sweet moment. Amazing!

Thanks for sharing.

Jensamom23 said...

Such a simple moment...such a powerful reminder. Thanks!

Mariangie Gonzalez said...

Awww, see? You're not so mean after all... ;) That was beautiful and the picture is the cutest. Thanks for sharing.

Deanna said...

We have a pre teen hi func autistic son. This would be his first year of middle school but I am homeschooling him instead. Feels normal and his siblings don't mind at all.

We always talk about what job he might have and how to prep him for it. When we were in middleschool who knew about the world of computer? So who knows what jobs will be available when he is ready to work??

We know he will never live on his own- we hope he will be able to rotate amongst family members once in awhile and work on a computer from home.

But we know he will always need help- and that's ok.

Nastell said...

Aw! That's so cute!

myelphie said...

What a truly moving and beautiful post. I agree with a previous commenter, you should print that out and frame it. I rarely comment, but wanted you to know that I have shared this post with many friends and family and they were all equally moved as well. Thank-you for sharing this touching moment with us. Sometimes we all need a little reminder.

agent99 said...

Love your blog! Thanks for sharing the good and the bad. I too have a child who is severely disabled. While I not only accept, but embrace her, some days the reminders of what could have been are too strong. True grace is the ability to see the special moments - thanks for the reminder!

Mia said...

Perfect. I understand, and have the same with my son.

Megan said...

I just want to give you a hug and, despite being virtual strangers, say I love you, you're doing a great job and you are right! Sweet little Cameron may have some challenges, but he was created perfectly, just as he is, with all the difficulties, to fulfill a purpose only he can...and he'll fulfill them because of all he's been through and all you're doing as his Mommy!

I have been through a similar thing with my son, the hardest times being exactly what you just went through...when with other kids his age! Thank the Lord we know He never makes a mistake...ever!!

Hugs to you and that sweet family...thanks for your honesty!! Cameron is going to be an amazing man!

Robin said...

What a surprise to find myself tearing up reading your post and not because I was laughing uncontrollably.
It was a well timed reminder for this me. thank you.

FabuLeslie said...

Aww. Great post. Great pic!

Vicky said...

Beautiful post!

Mandy said...

I am a mom of a special needs boy (Asperger's) and this post was just what I needed today. Thanks Jana!

Bradley, DeAnna, and Donovan said...

This was the worst time for me to read this!! My husband took my son to play outside and I'm sitting here, 5 months pregnant, bawling my eyes out!! If they were here, I may have been able to compose myself a little better. What a great reminder to always cherish our little ones, no matter what they are and are not able to do.

Holly said...

This brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing!

Laura said...

Thank you for your post, a very timely one for me. I also happen to have Crohn's and my three-year-old has been recovering from a brain and spinal tumor for the past year. It can be really hard seeing him struggle to climb on the playground when other kids his age jump, play, and run with ease. I really appreciate your reminder to keep an eternal perspective, laugh, and enjoy this ride. Thanks so much!

Mindi said...

Oh, needed this today. xxoo.
Mindi and Mac

Christine said...

That is so sweet.

Kim Ginsberg said...

Very touching. As parents we all need a little reminder like this :)
Thanks for sharing the special moment. And I agree with the others, print and frame that adorable picture. You'll always look at it and smile!

Lauren said...

Your blog is wonderful- I look forward to reading every new post. I gave you an award on my blog (www.threecrazymunchkins.blogspot.com)-check it out!

The crazy Shaw Family said...

thanks for making me cry. (dang preggo bormones)
I love your blog so much, and this is one of the many reasons why!

Amanda E. said...

Oh man, this did me in. I love your blog. You and Cameron are lucky to have each other.

Rebecca said...

Very sweet and tender moment. Thank you for sharing it with us.

MissMel said...

Thanks for the reminder to always look at everything carefully around us...we just might find a message!

Lines Family said...

So let me just say, that this post proves that you are definitely NOT the meanest mom. You are an amazing mom and it is those tender moments that make it all worth it.

Anonymous said...

beautiful. Very well said

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

Verklempt!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. My daughter called home after her first week of college and wants to "talk". I'm worried she's not ready to face college. She doesn't haven't any diagnosed problems but she's just younger than some. I needed this post so I remember that she just might need to walk with us a bit longer.

i know it's not anything like what you're dealing with but it really spoke to me. Thanks.

Christine said...

Love it!! Thanks for the reminder!

Jennifer B. said...

Very sweet and touching. Thanks!

Becca said...

Jana, you already know that Ainsley and I are with ya' all the way on this one. Happily, they seem to be developing at *exactly* the same pace, meaning that the stars are aligning for them to meet their own True Love. We might as well betroth them now. I'm cheering for you from North Carolina.

Emily said...

Yeah, our youngest (almost 2 as well) is also very small & "behind" for her age due to problems early in her life.....but every now and again we get reminded that she just needs a little more time than most others, but it's always worth it when we get to see her progress and grow.

MissA said...

Absolute sweetness.

Love-love the blog. Your storytelling style and perspective are refreshingly honest and real.

Samantha said...

Oh Jana. One of my twins is a bit delayed, which is a source of heartache to me. He is also the sweeter, more affectionate of my babies. Thanks for the reminder that each baby is special and wonderful, regardless of how quickly they develop.

Amy said...

I tear up reading this one...I have a precious little one with delays and you just summed up how I feel perfectly! xxoxoxoxox luv luv luv your blog!

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