August 31, 2010

The Nudists


On our way to soccer practice on Saturday morning, my daughter leaned forward in her seat and tapped me on the shoulder.

"The people in the car next to us don't have any clothes on," she whispered.

I nodded my head politely and thanked her for the information.

Two minutes earlier, my son had announced that he had seen a moose hiding in the bushes next to 7-11.

"No really," she insisted as we pulled up to a stoplight. "They don't have any clothes on."

My husband sighed and looked in the direction of where she was pointing. Expecting a "GOTCHA!," what he got instead was a clear shot of a convertible inhabited by two entirely naked women.

We had the longest red light on the planet.

Despite our attempt to maintain order, everyone had to have a look. My kids were giddy with awe and excitement.

"Those ladies better watch out or they're going to get sunburns," Kellen stated authoritatively as the light turned green.

The rest of the drive was spent explaining the concept of nude beaches.

"Some people are so excited that they take off their clothes before they get there," I explained.

"Maybe the ladies were just hot," suggested my daughter.

The kids' first soccer practice was memorable, but not for good reasons. But that's a story for another day.

On the way home, we decided to stop at the 7-11 for a Slurpee. Strangely, the moose had wandered away.

"Everybody out," I ordered.

The car doors opened, and my children exited.

My daughter almost managed to get into the store before my husband tackled her.

Inspired by her our friends, she had decided to go shirtless.

43 comments

Sarah said...

After having the worst morning (you know the kind where you have to leave 3 crying kids at daycare/school), I'd like to say thank you for making me laugh. :)

Tiffany said...

I bet when you were imagining all the perils of Florida that one never even came to mind!

Daisha said...

Ahh, that's so funny, yet horrifying at the same time!

McKenzie said...

That is too funny!

the thrifty ba said...

ha ha ha! got to love the nudists!
i had a friend who would drive (in the summer when it was hot and her a/c didnt work) w/o a shirt on. she just acted like it was no big deal but pretty much everyone had the same reaction as your family.

Jenn said...

Wow I hope I never have to encounter that! I argue frequently with my 3 year old about why she has to wear sleeves when others wear tanktops/spaghetti straps, now if other people were nude I would never hear the end of it!

She hasn't tried to go topless, but she has pulled her pants down outside our apartment and peed in the grass...

Cindy in PA said...

Wow! I think you should move back to PA! lol

Hamlet\'s Mistress said...

Ok that? Is hilarious. Thank you

A House and Home said...

hee hee hee hee...what in the heck were they doing?! people are crazy.

AlsoMean said...

Of course he grabbed her - no shoes, no shirt, no service in 7-11...

Linney said...

that is tooooo funny! only you! you could write a book with things you've seen!

Teen Queen said...

haha! little kids are so funny!

jeleighbean said...

bahahahahahha!!!
He should've let her go in with no shirt on. No shoes/shirt=No service. She wouldn't have got her slurpee while everyone else did. That would've set her straight! ;)

Anonymous said...

Good grief! What in the world? Why couldn't the women just put on a bathingsuit cover-up or something atleast while they are driving around and then strip when they get on the beach?? Yikes!

The Poolman said...

No pictures?

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

I am shaking with laughter. Thank you.

Ken Levinson said...

Great story. Sounds like it could be straight out of National Lampoon's Family Vacation series.

Hope it didn't influence the kids into becoming nudists!

Unplanned Cooking said...

That is so funny! My husband would have been thrilled :).

Liberty said...

I am laughing so hard. Your blog is hilarious. My 11 year old son wants me to check every night to see if you have added any funny stories. Can't wait to share this one with him!

Cathryn said...

I had 3 older brothers and had no clue as to why I could not trot around my neighborhood in Montgomery Alabama with my shirt off. Now I do.

Veronika said...

That is too funny! Maybe she was hot! ha! Kids say the funniest things :)

Kristen @ ladybug-blessings.com said...

oh my goodness!! I don't think I would have been able to keep from laughing hysterically knowing that was next to me at the light!!

Anonymous said...

That is hysterical...you're like a magnet for crazy!

Mrs. Werginz said...

I just laughed out loud!! Hilarious! I'm a new follower!

www.werginznewlyweds.blogspot.com

Baby Boberg & Parents said...

I had a crazy day caring for three children under the age of two. One of which was mine. It was a crap day and I soooo needed to hear that. Your hubby tackling her at the 7-11 had me ROLLING! Thanks!

Laurie said...

You seem to be getting "exposed" to some new and interesting experiences in Florida!!

Mother of Style said...

That's hilarious!

Christine said...

Ha ha ha!

Unbelievable!

My husband I are visiting Florida in October...maybe I need to invest in some blinders!

sarahjane said...

I grew up in a town that had a Nudist Colony just outside of town. As a kid, I remember being SHOCKED and BAFFLED by the concept of it when we talked about it once at the dinner table, not believing that there WAS such a place. Naturally, heard about it at school and mom/dad confirmed it. (Twin brother and I SERIOUSLY thought they were kidding.) I think that most high school boys (at one point or another during their youth) had parked near the end of the long driveway and tried to catch a sneak peek. Kind of makes you wonder how much of that experience your kids will remember...

DIAPERS in the DESERT said...

Loved the story. Your kids innocent comments really made me laugh. The best part was about the nudists needing sunblock and were probably hot.

friea said...

Hmmm ... given the previous story about you removing your shirt while shopping, I'm seeing a family trend. ;)

Megan said...

maybe it was a genetic move by your daughter...I mean, you were topless in Marshalls not that long ago ;) That's where it alllllll begins !!

Megan said...

ah, and I see Friea and I agree LOL!

Leah said...

I found you through "The Funsucker Chronicles". I am enjoying reading my way through your blog.

That being said, my daughter would TOTALLY do the same thing!!! Thank you for the laugh (albiet at your expense!)

tarichuck said...

Thank you-I really needed this laugh today. Although it would not surprise me to have my child do this one day.

themonogramswap said...

I just found your blog and I am cracking up!

mamajil said...

very funny!

Dolly said...

OMgosh! I'm sick in bed with strep-throat...but actually laughed outloud reading your post:) It hurt to chuckle-but it was so worth it!!!

Denise said...

You did set an example in Marshall's last month on the shirtless thing!

luvin' life said...

What crazy ladies! Can't believe you're daughter followed along!!! :)

Vicky said...

Do you advertise to have these people near you or what?!!!

Emily said...

Oh my WORD that is INSANE. And I was giggling the entire time. I'm pretty sure my husband thinks I'm crazy.

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