September 2, 2010

Soccer Shoes

My kids moved up an age bracket this year in soccer.

New division= bigger soccer balls.

"Can't we just pump up the ones we've got a little bit more to meet the new size requirements?" I asked my husband.

He hissed something back about not being ridiculous...and cheap.

Yesterday, I took the kids shopping for the unnecessary objects. My husband, who breaks into hives at the sight of any retail establishment (he loves shopping that much), insisted on going with us.

"Done!" I said, plopping three five-dollar balls into the shopping cart.




My husband wrinkled his nose. "The quality of these balls is sub par," he said authoritatively.

"Does it really matter?" I shot back. "I'm going to run over at least one of them with the car by the end of the week."

Our kids' overall lack of respect for their personal property swayed my husband to my side.

The three people clutching $25 designer soccer balls required further convincing.



"Nope," I said, shaking my head.

"I've always wanted a pink and purple soccer ball," cried my daughter.

"I only like this one," said one of my sons, gripping a ball stamped with the World Cup logo.

"I want one of these instead," my other son said. He was holding a football.

"Those are all very nice, but we're getting these," I told them, pointing at the contents of the shopping cart.

By the time we got to the parking lot, no one was speaking to me. However, everyone had plenty to say about me to each other.

"Just a minute," Irrational Mother told them. "I forgot something in the store."

When Irrational Mother returned, she was wearing a new pair of shoes.

"Where are the soccer balls?" my children asked nervously.

I pointed to my feet.

The blood drained out of their faces, confirming that I made the right choice.

61 comments

A House and Home said...

I love it! You are great.

Zach and Bailee said...

WOO HOO!! I need to remember that one for a not-so-distant day in the future of my all boy family. PS...the shoes are to die for! Love them!

Misti said...

That's awesome!

Nolie said...

Love it! They want designer soccer balls I believe the lawn needs mowing and the garden needs gardening ;)

starnes family said...

Nice. Money better spent and more enjoyed! Your kids will lose, squash, or give away the balls, anyway.

Hamlet\'s Mistress said...

Hands down, awesomest thing you've ever written. No contest. And THAT, my dear is saying A LOT.

Karen Tapahe said...

You're my hero!!

[Stacia] said...

Oh how this mean mom needed that tonight! AWESOME.

Nicole Asay said...

Way cute!!! I want to go soccer ball shopping too!

Anna said...

YES! Well played.

christine said...

Those are very cute. You made the right choice.

S said...

Ouch. You ARE mean! I bet they'll never forget it though ;)

Emily Heizer Photography said...

Those are WAY cute. I think I need some too.

the thrifty ba said...

this is why im a faithful follower! good for you!

Making It Work Mom said...

Nice shoes! My husband would have bought the store out! He is a total athletic equipment addict!

Parenting Ink said...

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Talk about natural consequences. Now THAT'S being a soccer mom!

The Girl Next Door said...

Ding Ding ding and this round goes to MEANEST MOM, once again. Don't mess with her people. She KNOWS how to bring it. Love it.

Ashley Devon said...

Good for you!!! Sounds like the whole situation was worth the new shoes. :o) Loved this post by the way. Always entertaining.

Ashley Devon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I was afraid you were going to go back in the store to buy all your children a lollipop. You know, to make up for being mean. I'm so relieved you stuck to your meanness and bought the shoes instead!

Anonymous said...

And adorable shoes they are indeed! ;) Good for you!

TORI said...

so, did you (anyone feel free to answer) return the balls you did buy to get shoes? Or did you let the kids keeps the balls AND you got shoes? I can't tell.

Kinyama said...

HAHAHAHA! Everytime I think I have read the funniest thing you've posted, I click over and read again and laugh harder and conclude THAT was the funniest ever.

Eden said...

Perfect! I normally threaten to do something like that and so far the attitudes have decreased. Maybe I need to actually do it one time and hopefully no attitudes anymore :)

Rocket Ma'am said...

That. Was. Awesome.

cyn said...

My wish and hope is that I get to read the epilogue to all of this in ten years, where the kids of the meanest mom learned and remembered the awesome life's lessons they learned from the mom that cared enough about them and humankind in general to be on her toes at all times. And to deliver it all with some dang funny humor.

eliana23 said...

You are my hero. Seriously.

McKenzie said...

That's too funny! Cute shoes =]

Donna said...

I've wanted to do that so many times! Good for you!

The Carew Family said...

I am totally putting that in my aresnal for future use!! Thanks for the idea!

Emily012473 said...

My kids would scream and die right there on the spot if I did that...totally putting this in my pocket as a future threat--though I doubt I would actually go through with it! BRAVE Mama!

Jensamom23 said...

I LOVE it!

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahahahheheheehe

A House and Home said...

So glad I found your blog this week...just added it to my blog roll. Have a great weekend.

noelle said...

I think you are my mother reincarnate.

mom of 3, hater of cheese and birds said...

you complete me.. <3

Kimi said...

Now those are an amazing pair of Soccer balls...and yes I realize those sounds dirty. I tried to rephrase it but it just wasn't happening.

sarahjane said...

Those ARE some SUPER CUTE SHOES!!! Good for you!

Jennifer said...

cute shoes... and I made my kids get the ball that came in the "deal". i.e. shoes, ball and shin guards for one price. My son was okay with that because they had one in his favorite color, but my daughter saw the soccer ball with princesses on it and collapsed in the middle of the store. I mean, really, WHY do they make a soccer ball with princesses?

Shannon said...

TORI: the way I read it was that she went back in to the store, returned the balls, and bought herslef a pair of shoes. Which I, for one, find to be ingenious!

Shannon said...

And yup, I just said herslef. What of it?

vanilla said...

Grandpa says, "You so did the right thing. Enjoy the new footgear."

Morgan -Ing said...

You totally did the right thing. Way to go!

Andie said...

Hilarious!!! Good move!!

Dolly said...

I would of done the very same thing! Great moms think alike:)

Kmarie said...

I need some friends like you...It's a travesty if I do not give my kids the junkie snacks for school. I am officially the geeky mom to all the others.
Thanks for the insight.

Teen Queen said...

that is perfect. u have the greatest ideas.

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

You are hilarious! Did you really do that? I should try that the next time my kids gripe about what I buy them!

devon spec said...

Jana, you have no idea what kindred spirits we are. did you get the balls at "five below?" ha.
soccer balls are soccer balls.

Brittany Alyse Voss said...

Oh--now THAT is the "meanest mom"!

Sometimes kids need it tough.

Jessica said...

This is definitely a win/win situation!!! I hope I can be more like you when I grow up!!!

WendyLou said...

Heh heh heh :) You are awesome!!

Anonymous said...

You are so my hero. I love it. I need to chanel you in those lovely moments in my life. Thank you for writing this blog!!!!!
christi_speights@yahoo.com

Bethany said...

Hahaah, that's awesome!

EG said...

I just picked up a FREE adorable little size 3 soccer ball at a local mechanic. It has the name of the mechanic on it, but will my 3-year-old care? Nope.

Sharee (Hale) Jones said...

I don't know you. But I want this to happen to me just so I can do just what you did. I can't wait!

Nicole said...

WOOHOO thats awesome! i cant wait until I can do that to my kids :)


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Anonymous said...

Selfish jerk! You needed at least one of those balls, but you spent the money on something for yourself... you're a great role model.

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