New division= bigger soccer balls.
"Can't we just pump up the ones we've got a little bit more to meet the new size requirements?" I asked my husband.
He hissed something back about not being ridiculous...and cheap.
Yesterday, I took the kids shopping for the unnecessary objects. My husband, who breaks into hives at the sight of any retail establishment (he loves shopping that much), insisted on going with us.
"Done!" I said, plopping three five-dollar balls into the shopping cart.
My husband wrinkled his nose. "The quality of these balls is sub par," he said authoritatively.
"Does it really matter?" I shot back. "I'm going to run over at least one of them with the car by the end of the week."
Our kids' overall lack of respect for their personal property swayed my husband to my side.
The three people clutching $25 designer soccer balls required further convincing.
"Nope," I said, shaking my head.
"I've always wanted a pink and purple soccer ball," cried my daughter.
"I only like this one," said one of my sons, gripping a ball stamped with the World Cup logo.
"I want one of these instead," my other son said. He was holding a football.
"Those are all very nice, but we're getting these," I told them, pointing at the contents of the shopping cart.
By the time we got to the parking lot, no one was speaking to me. However, everyone had plenty to say about me to each other.
"Just a minute," Irrational Mother told them. "I forgot something in the store."
When Irrational Mother returned, she was wearing a new pair of shoes.
"Where are the soccer balls?" my children asked nervously.
I pointed to my feet.
The blood drained out of their faces, confirming that I made the right choice.
Posts
59 comments
I love it! You are great.
WOO HOO!! I need to remember that one for a not-so-distant day in the future of my all boy family. PS...the shoes are to die for! Love them!
That's awesome!
Love it! They want designer soccer balls I believe the lawn needs mowing and the garden needs gardening ;)
Nice. Money better spent and more enjoyed! Your kids will lose, squash, or give away the balls, anyway.
Hands down, awesomest thing you've ever written. No contest. And THAT, my dear is saying A LOT.
You're my hero!!
Oh how this mean mom needed that tonight! AWESOME.
Way cute!!! I want to go soccer ball shopping too!
YES! Well played.
Those are very cute. You made the right choice.
Ouch. You ARE mean! I bet they'll never forget it though ;)
Those are WAY cute. I think I need some too.
this is why im a faithful follower! good for you!
Nice shoes! My husband would have bought the store out! He is a total athletic equipment addict!
That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Talk about natural consequences. Now THAT'S being a soccer mom!
Ding Ding ding and this round goes to MEANEST MOM, once again. Don't mess with her people. She KNOWS how to bring it. Love it.
Good for you!!! Sounds like the whole situation was worth the new shoes. :o) Loved this post by the way. Always entertaining.
I was afraid you were going to go back in the store to buy all your children a lollipop. You know, to make up for being mean. I'm so relieved you stuck to your meanness and bought the shoes instead!
And adorable shoes they are indeed! ;) Good for you!
so, did you (anyone feel free to answer) return the balls you did buy to get shoes? Or did you let the kids keeps the balls AND you got shoes? I can't tell.
HAHAHAHA! Everytime I think I have read the funniest thing you've posted, I click over and read again and laugh harder and conclude THAT was the funniest ever.
Perfect! I normally threaten to do something like that and so far the attitudes have decreased. Maybe I need to actually do it one time and hopefully no attitudes anymore :)
That. Was. Awesome.
My wish and hope is that I get to read the epilogue to all of this in ten years, where the kids of the meanest mom learned and remembered the awesome life's lessons they learned from the mom that cared enough about them and humankind in general to be on her toes at all times. And to deliver it all with some dang funny humor.
You are my hero. Seriously.
That's too funny! Cute shoes =]
I've wanted to do that so many times! Good for you!
I am totally putting that in my aresnal for future use!! Thanks for the idea!
My kids would scream and die right there on the spot if I did that...totally putting this in my pocket as a future threat--though I doubt I would actually go through with it! BRAVE Mama!
I LOVE it!
Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahahahheheheehe
So glad I found your blog this week...just added it to my blog roll. Have a great weekend.
I think you are my mother reincarnate.
you complete me.. <3
Now those are an amazing pair of Soccer balls...and yes I realize those sounds dirty. I tried to rephrase it but it just wasn't happening.
Those ARE some SUPER CUTE SHOES!!! Good for you!
cute shoes... and I made my kids get the ball that came in the "deal". i.e. shoes, ball and shin guards for one price. My son was okay with that because they had one in his favorite color, but my daughter saw the soccer ball with princesses on it and collapsed in the middle of the store. I mean, really, WHY do they make a soccer ball with princesses?
TORI: the way I read it was that she went back in to the store, returned the balls, and bought herslef a pair of shoes. Which I, for one, find to be ingenious!
And yup, I just said herslef. What of it?
Grandpa says, "You so did the right thing. Enjoy the new footgear."
You totally did the right thing. Way to go!
Hilarious!!! Good move!!
I would of done the very same thing! Great moms think alike:)
I need some friends like you...It's a travesty if I do not give my kids the junkie snacks for school. I am officially the geeky mom to all the others.
Thanks for the insight.
that is perfect. u have the greatest ideas.
You are hilarious! Did you really do that? I should try that the next time my kids gripe about what I buy them!
Jana, you have no idea what kindred spirits we are. did you get the balls at "five below?" ha.
soccer balls are soccer balls.
Oh--now THAT is the "meanest mom"!
Sometimes kids need it tough.
This is definitely a win/win situation!!! I hope I can be more like you when I grow up!!!
Heh heh heh :) You are awesome!!
You are so my hero. I love it. I need to chanel you in those lovely moments in my life. Thank you for writing this blog!!!!!
christi_speights@yahoo.com
Hahaah, that's awesome!
I just picked up a FREE adorable little size 3 soccer ball at a local mechanic. It has the name of the mechanic on it, but will my 3-year-old care? Nope.
I don't know you. But I want this to happen to me just so I can do just what you did. I can't wait!
WOOHOO thats awesome! i cant wait until I can do that to my kids :)
www.QuitTheBitching.com
Selfish jerk! You needed at least one of those balls, but you spent the money on something for yourself... you're a great role model.
Football Shoes from Cheap Football Shoes suppliers. Football Shoes Wholesalers offers high quality Football Shoes at lowest price in Market -Buy Now!
Cheap Football Shoes
Post a Comment