August 23, 2010

The Champs


This weekend, my sister Amy and her new husband Warren came down from Washington D.C. for a quick visit.

They hadn't been in our house for more than five minutes before I begged them to watch my kids for a couple hours so my husband and I could go out to dinner.

"I hope everything goes all right," I said to my husband nervously as I bit my fingernails.

He told me to stop stressing. "They'll all be in bed in a half hour," he told me. "What can go wrong?"

When I walked in the door an hour later, the first thing I noticed was that the washing machine was running. The second was the odor.

My husband and I scaled the staircase two steps at a time. We found my sister and her husband standing next to the epicenter of the fumes. They were wearing rubber gloves and trying not to breathe.

Several minutes after putting my almost two-year-old down to bed, the dutiful aunt and uncle went to check on their young charge. When they cracked open the bedroom door, my son threw a large, handmade turd at them.

"It was EVERYWHERE!" my sister cried. By the time we got home, the mess was 90% cleaned up. My brother-in-law marveled at how much solid waste such a small person could produce.

I apologized profusely, of course, and suggested dessert as a diversion.

My sister sent me to the store for ice cream. "Get anything," she said, "but chocolate."

*****
Although they may be gross, my sister NEEDS to hear your stories. I told her that exploring one's excrement was a virtual rite of passage into toddlerhood.

103 comments

Gina said...

Oh my goodness. My oldest son went through a whole phase of doing this. He was so obsessed with it, that when he woke up he wouldn't make any sound, just so he could play with his poo undisturbed. I had to start setting my alarm to wake up before 6 so that I could intervene. It was awful. He loved to paint the walls with it for some disgusting reason :(

THAT is one stage I will NEVER miss.

Jamie said...

Yes, it's definitely something they all do. My daughter used to finger paint on the walls with her poo...which is always better than the little girl who eats it at daycare *gag*

Carrie Stuart said...

Oh my goodness! We never went through this with any of ours, but they must have been seriously repressed or something....because I hear SO many stories like this one. The finger painting and all. So...I'm guessing no chance of a niece or nephew anytime soon?

Jenny said...

No poo stories for me, either, thank God.

Deb said...

Oh thank goodness my son never went through this phase. It woudl have sent me over the edge.

Rachel said...

I know nothing about toddler excrement yet (no kids), but I do know that I did a group project with your sister once at BYU. I think it was for Bio 100. I recognize her. It's such a small world.

Jillayne said...

At least poo comes out relatively easily.

My son decided to empty a HUGE tub of Overnight desitin on the floor.

That stuff is oily, super thick, and gross.

Even the pro carpet cleaner I hired couldn't get it all out.

Jen said...

I've been reading your blog for a little while now and enjoying every word! Thanks for the laughs and letting me know there is another family out there a lot like mine!

Thought I'd share a poo story. When my little sister (also an Amy) was almost two, my mom went into her room to get her up from a nap. As your sister was, my mom was greeted first by the smell... She walked to the crib to find that my sister was smearing her poo all over a puzzle of Jesus. She looked up with big, innocent eyes, and said, "Mommy, I poopied on Jesus." She's 24 now, but still we won't let her live that one down!

Nicole Asay said...

Mine never went through this phase, but I worked at a gym childcare where this happened. We were in there with probably about 20 kids (4 adults watching them)and one little boy suddenly yelled, "TEACHER! THERES POOP!!!!!"
On the play kitchen in the corner, a little girl had hid behind it, then reached into her diaper, pulled out her poop, and slapped it down on the play kitchen stove. That kid had quite a few stories like that, but that was the first time.

Deanna said...

babysitting one's nieces and nephews is the best birth control (and cheapest) to have. Good luck to your sister and bro in law!

Anonymous said...

Thank GOD, I never had these issues....

Six-Pack Momma said...

Each one of my kids tried this a time or two. As soon as they smeared the crib with poop, they got the safety pin. I'd safety pin their sleeper zipper and they no longer have access to their diaper. Works like a charm. And in the hotter months, you can buy the thin Carters sleepers and even cut the feet and/or legs a bit so they aren't so stuffy.

Anonymous said...

Oh my word.. THANK THE LORD I have NEVER had this issue. I just can't imagine!!! Your sister deserves more than dessert! I would say at the very least dessert and very strong drink!

- Rae Rae
(stupid account won't let me login - and I refuse to admit that I am not remembering my password correctly)

Molly said...

My almost two year old went through a stage where if we "forgot" to put him in a onesie for nap time, he would poo, take his trousers off and proceed to wipe poo on...well, anything in reach. sigh. It got old real quick.

Jennifer said...

yep... my budding Picasso preferred using "other mediums" for her masterpieces... aka "fingerpainting with poop"

Skubaliscious said...

Wow...a few more stunts like that and you may never get any nieces or nephews ;)

But my 2 year old also loves to take her diaper off....and messes follow.

sarahandmatt said...

My daughter wiped poop on the walls and the rungs of her crib during nap time atleast once a week for about 6 months. We finally had to paint that wall because we scrubbed all the paint off of it!

kelseyad said...

Girl. 20 months old. Playing in the playroom. Removed diaper and crammed the poop into the dollhouse potty and smeared the rest on the wall and carpet in order to "clean" her hand. At least she knew were it went initially.

Trish said...

When my oldest did this I remember standing in the doorway to her room & wishing ANYONE but me was the mom who had to clean all that sh!t up!! It was on every slat of her crib, all over her, the sheets, her stuffed animals & the 2 walls she could reach through the bars. OMG I remember it like it was yesterday & it was almost 5 years ago.

Thankfully the other 2 haven't painted but my current 2 year old has entered the "I'm not ready to go on the potty consistently but I don't like to sit in pee or poop for more than 2 seconds phase" so she removes her diaper instantly after going. If I'm in the kitchen or checking e-mails (and not specifically watching her) all of a sudden the dipe goes over the gate & she walking around half naked with a messy tush. Oye!

Rocket Ma'am said...

My best is long so I'll let you imagine the details. 2 year old twin boys. A day of sporadic vomiting followed by 3 of massive diarrhea. Hurricane Isabel. Husband stranded 2 states away. No electricity for 5 days. Ice being sold off the backs of trucks for $3 a cup.
I still have nightmares.

Michelle said...

That is hilarious! I'm sure it didn't seem so funny at the time. We've had several encounters with poop and a couple with pee too. Boys are the worst when it comes to poop, pee, boogars, spit etc. etc. But I'll get even, I'm saving up to embarrass my kids at JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT.

Anne said...

Imagine your poo story times three, and that's what I experienced while helping my sister out with her then two year old triplets. Awesome.

Shanna said...

Neither one of my kids were poop artists but they both loved - "naked booty time" and would tear off their diapers and run thru the house naked - even if we had company over.

Catherine Dabels said...

I had a foster child who refused to potty train. He was four. I was hell bent on training him. He refused to poop and for three days he didn't . One night I put him to bed knowing perfectly well that when his body relaxed he would explode. He did. He exploded EVERYWHERE. We threw out his pj's, his quilt and his mattress. We washed walls until the wee hours of the morning and had to get the carpets cleaned. I had to pick him up and put him in the tub, which required rubber gloves because he had poop from head to toe. No word of a lie. It was in his eyelashes and his ears.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donna said...

When my Baby was about 1 1/2 I had to take naptime away, much to my dismay. If he wasn't tired he would go in, poop, pull his diaper off, and finger-paint his room. After 5, not 2 or 3 or 4 episodes, I finally vowed never to let him nap again. My poor neighbor lent me her carpet cleaner every single time. She's was hoping her same-aged boy wouldn't resort to such playtime tactics.

Elizabeth said...

No babies for me, but it did happen once while babysitting. My neighbor's baby had been sleeping for MAYBE 15 minutes... I don't remember if she woke up or if I just went in to check on her but oh man. That was a lot of slimy yellow poo.
All over the sheets, the crib, covering her little body. It was so gross and I wanted to hurl. Of course, the neighbor had neglected to tell me that this had been happening REGULARLY for the past week or so, so I was totally unprepared as to what to do with the nasty sheets, where to get cleaning supplies, etc. I just woke her up, stripped her down and gave her a tubbie. Oh my sick. I think I stashed all the nasty clothes and sheets rolled up in a clean towel and put it in the washing machine until the mom got home.

Jen said...

Bwahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! Yes each of my 6 children have had an excrement completed during their naptime. Typically on the crib railing, posts, every single thing in their crib. Then it extended to other parts of their room when they could climb out of the crib.

My mom says all 6 of her kids did it too. I used to think it was genetic but I'm sure that's not the case.

They have no concept of what it is other than it came from them and it feels good to squish in their hands. Plus it is a great medium for artistic work.

So glad we don't have to deal with that any more - my youngest went to kindergarten today!!!! Just think, when I babysit any future grandkids and this happens, I AM NOT cleaning it up. I will kiss the grandchildren, smile at their parents and say good luck!

Bonnie said...

Oh, poo. Do I have stories. Pooptastic ones.

Your sister must not have children yet. Because a true mommy can clean up poop and then still eat chocolate without batting an eye.

Jen said...

BTW, duct tape works wonders in keeping a one piece pj closed. Just a little strip over the top zipper pull (when it is closed) keeps the poop in the diaper and their pjs on.

Kmarie said...

When my little guy was about 18 months he was "playing" in his room and the next thing I see is little fingers pushing poop under the door as a gift. We thought we had cleaned it all up but our house smelled all winter. When we cleaned out the vents in the spring we found the toxic glomp. We were breathing his excrements in our heating system.
That winter we were sick more than most. To top it off- I was pregnant so the nausea was through the roof with the extra smells. It drove me crazy when I couldn't find the source.

Melysa said...

Poo painting is what we lovingly refer to it as. Many stories. Rite of passage for sure. Along with acrylic paint that was out of reach and creamy Desitin. Not much has been spared by my two (now older (THANKFULLY!!!)) daughters. My son has never done it. I hope it stays that way!

McKenzie said...

That is hilarious! I think the worst that has happened to me is when we had J's 2 year old son over. He pooped in his diaper and had stuck his hand down his pants (that's when his older brother ran into our bedroom to tattle on him). Luckily we caught him before any poop went anywhere other than in his hands and in his diaper.

Aarika said...

My son was 6 months old. My husband walked into his room one morning and yelled for me to come...and QUICK!! I came in with him and heard him say,"That better be pudding!" (yeah, cause a 6 month old decided to wake up, make chocolate pudding, and take it back to his crib). It was all over! Jack went to reach his hand to his mouth and we both yelled, "NO!" and ran to get to him before he achieved success! Needless to say, pudding it was not and took quite a good amount of time to clean up. *shudder and gag*

Mindy said...

So funny! A few years back, I was having dinner with my mom and my 18 month old son. I left the table to use the bathroom and as soon as I was gone he reached into his diaper and handed my mom (who wasn't paying attention) the contents. She stared at her hand for a second trying to process what she had just been given and screamed. LOL!

Mrs. Ohtobe said...

Not that I would admit to it. Thankfully my mother took my story to the grave with her. Something about doodie balls and me using them as crayolas from my crib. My kids have hounded me to tell them the infamous "Doodie Ball Story"...and I disavow all knowledge!

Lynn said...

We had to duct tape one of my daughter's diapers on her at all times from 18 months on. She loved to take them off. And my other daughter went through a short phase where she pulled out poop to sniff.

My oldest somehow (at 5) got poop on my mil's guest towels in her bathroom. His response: it was a really big poop.

My little brother got into the litterbox and ate cat poop.

Michele Juanson said...

This is not a shameless promotion for my blog, but I just wrote about a poo incident in my household. Maybe your sister would appreciate it.
http://adultimposter.com/2010/07/22/the-day-i-lost-it/

(Human excrement = worst smell ever. A rotten milk sippy cup is close.)

Anna said...

I have a two year old boy and I thank my lucky stars that poop investigation has not been an issue ... YET. But I have been scared that some random morning or afternoon I'll go in his room to find a lovely mess waiting for me. If not with him, maybe with this next one on the way. In any case, thank you fellow posters for heightening my paranoia and my gratitude. :)

Anonymous said...

Poop was my son's favorite art medium. He did some of his finest work in poop....poop painting, poop sculpting. You name it, he created it. His messiest work however was when he took his Bouncing Tigger which was about a 12' tigger that hopped. Took off his diaper, ran Tigger through it, and then let Tigger hop all over his flipping bedroom over and over and over. It was EVERYWHERE.

Kay said...

This came at just the right moment. My son put his hand down his backside for the first time JUST this morning! He pulled it out and said, "Oh no Daddy! Poop!" I'm sending this to my husband so he knows he's not alone!

Kiki said...

Not poo, but vomit - when I was a preschool teacher, I once picked up a 3 year-old to comfort him because he was crying and he promptly vomited all over me, down my shirt, on my face, in my hair. It was like the Exorcist. To top it off, our school holiday party was that night (attendance mandatory!) and I didn't have anything to change into. One of my coteachers had an extra shirt - a loud, skin-tight leopard print shirt. So I got to attend the party still faintly smelling of vomit and wearing a tight leopard shirt. Parents looooooooved it.

Anonymous said...

My kids both painted the walls with their poop during nap time. They are very artistic.

Lulucarrot said...

My first daughter took a nap everyday and ended it with a poop. Everyday. She gave me precisely 2 minutes to get her out of bed after she whined letting me know she had woken up. If you did not get her before your two minutes were up... Hello Poop on the wall.

ShinyAdornments said...

I love this blog so much. It completely reinforces the fact that my son is NOT the only one gifting me with all his special skills and I am NOT the world's worst Mom.

:-)

D said...

Amy, just be assured that it was not a reflection on how he feels about you and your husband, and don't let the experience affect you opinion of the baby.

Mommymel said...

It's only happened once to us, thank heavens. My little buddy, age 20 months, loves to spray his sister's room down with pee after baths if I don't dutifully apply his diaper fast enough, but just once I came in and he said, "ball!" and handed me a nice warm brown turd. It took me just a moment to figure out what it was, and then my hands have never been washed so much!

Danae said...

Our 2nd daughter was the only poop painter, but it only lasted until she licked her finger once. She couldn't look at/smell poop for over a year without retching. Consequently, I had to clean puke instead several times.

My friend Brooke used the duct tape method. Except I think it went all the way around the diaper, since her daughter even found ways of getting the two strips off the sides.

Tina said...

OK I rarely comment on anything - although i always read your blog!! However, I had to share that my daughter's one and only poop extravaganza was with a very mystified babysitter - and I was shocked! She had been potty trained for 2 months and had never before (or since) had an accident!!! I don't know what the babysitter did!

The Millers said...

I just wanted to let you know there are tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard at all these stories. My 2 year old hasn't blessed me with a masterpiece yet...though I'm waiting for the day. He knows how to take his diaper off.
Thanks for the laughs. I love this blog. :)

Mandie said...

My sister took my kids to Walmart to get Easter Egg dye. While she was choosing which dye to get my 2 year old pulled down his pull-up and pooped on the floor in the middle of the aisle. For some reason she refuses to watch my kids anymore.

Em said...

Many years ago my little sister decided that it was too inconvenient to walk all the way to the bathroom when she had to pee, so she started using the heating vent in her bedroom. A few weeks later, my parents noticed something foul smelling dripping from the heating vent in the room below hers. So gross!

Ally in Wonderland said...

Oh, I win.

When I was a baby my dad was changing my diaper. He was terrified of my sister or I getting diaper rash, so he was often premature with the changings. Well, he pulled down my diaper and I pee'd a perfect arch into the light socket. My dad was shocked, didn't know girls had such good aim. :)

browniemom said...

My husband and I used to call it "fecal art". The worst was having to cut their fingernails after an art session.

browniemom said...

My husband and I used to call it "fecal art". The worst part after an art session was cutting their fingernails.

thetallgrl said...

I babysat a family with 4 kids, their youngest being an 18-month old boy. One day I went to wake him up from his nap - he usually cried or made noise when he woke up but not this time. I opened the door to his room and WHOOSH I was overpowered by the smell of poop. I thought, "That's going to be a crappy diaper to change." Um, no. The diaper was already off and he had entertained himself by smearing the poo all over himself, his bedding, the walls, etc. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I stuck him in the tub and turned on the shower and washed him over and over with shampoo and dish soap (which he didn't like of course). I did wipe down the walls with Clorox wipes but I left the bedding for the mom. I simply wasn't paid enough for that part.

Anonymous said...

Oh, boy! This is a duzy of a subject! Where to begin? So many stories to tell! The worst was with child #3, a girl, and it started when she was about 18 months. She was a whiz at taking off her pjs or any other clothes and her diaper, regardless of how we literally strapped, taped, safety pinned, and tied her in. I can't tell you the number of times her crib and the walls surrounding her crib were fingerpainted using her own pooh. This phase lasted for at least 6 months. You can always say that YOUR kids will never do it, but you'd be wrong, because at least one of them will. You get through it because you have no other choice.

Deborah said...

Not poo but pee...
Took my 3 year old, toilet trained daughter to a childrens shoe store.
They had plastic display inset into their floor with foot shaped indentations which the children could stand in to measure their shoe sizes. Fun hey?
Yeeeees, the 3 year old pee'd and filled up the display. A bit like a paddle pool really.
I had to tell them my daughter had an accident.
"Oh sorry, is she alright? We'll get an incident form for you."
Ummm not that kind of accident....

Anonymous said...

"Six-pack momma" told about using a safety pin to keep her kiddos from taking off their zip-up pjs. We tried this with my daughter, but she could open the safety pin. Then we tried winding tape around and around the safety pin so she couldn't open it. the little magician could get that off, too. We finally had to resort to cutting the feet of the pjs and putting the pjs on her backwards, so the zipper was in the back.

june said...

That happened once, when my son was in the habit of removing his diaper @ nap time. I went to check on him...what's that lovely bouquet? Aaagghh, he had smeared it all over the crib, wall and himself. I didn't know what to do first! I threw him in the tub and proceeded to use at least 10 tubes of Lysol wipes and buckets of bleach! That's when I started using TAPE around his diaper.....

Anonymous said...

your post and some of the comments led me to send the story to my mom, along with an apology if I ever did something similar when I was little. I dont have any kids yet so no kiddie poo painter stories from me, but oooo do I have plenty of animal poo painter stories from my times working at a vets and then at a kennel. for example, we had one dog who you had to catch her RIGHT after she pooed, or else you'd be cleaning her and the cage.

Nikki said...

In our house we called it 'Poop Schmeer" - no amount of tape, backwards pjs, or ice cold baths could stop my son from painting the walls, the bed, and himself EVERY TIME he crawled in bed - sometimes before he even fell asleep! This stage lasted about 3 -4 months - coincidentally the same amount of time I was experiencing morning sickness with number 3....

Mom said...

Funny! But what a bummer!

We don't have any poop stories at our house. My oldest was a car barfer. There were many trips that were scrapped or diverted for clean clothes.

Life...EXAGGERATED

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to read this! I need to send it to my ex-husbands new wife! My girls were visiting their father and my 1 year old decided to wake up and "paint" the bedroom...I got a disgusted phone call about my "strange" child...For some reason she wouldn't believe that most children do this...of course her perfect daughter would never dream of doing such a thing....lol...karma works in funny ways!!!

Mal said...

The little boy across the street from me when I was a little kid (he was two or three years younger than me) used to strip himself and run into their front yard EVERYDAY. His mother would stand in the door and call for him to "Please! Please come back inside! Danny! Please!" This was on a busy street too, so lots of cars got mooned. (And in Maine, very few yards have fences, so he was all out there.)

Whilst my older sister was being potty trained, my dad says she used to hold the tissue in her hand and talk to him as he crouched in front of her. She'd be chatting away, and then reach down to wipe her front then take the same tissue and wipe her nose with it.

My first just turned one on Friday. Now that her arms are long enough to reach in places, the first thing she does when I open her diaper is reach down there. Doesn't matter what the mess is, she's busy checking it out.

If she needs more stories, you just let me know.

Breezi@ Not Your Average Fairytale said...

I've never had a poo flinger- however, One day my oldest daughter was in her car seat, the infant car seat and she filled it so full of poo that it literally was up about 4 inches. Yep- a little poo bath.

My husband got the treat of cleaning it and her up.

Anonymous said...

My sister-in-law took her kids to McDonalds for lunch and to let them play in the Playplace there. While they were playing in it, her older son came down and told her something yucky was in one of the crawling tubes. Her other son was suspiciously missing. She wriggled her way up through the play equipment only to find her son painting the entire third level of the playplace with enormous amounts of poo. She still won't let them play on those things!

MissMel said...

My son was out playing in the backyard one day..I was pleasantly reading my book in the lounge chair..watching everything, I swear...when I heard a scream from his brother. He picked up animal dung and was chewing away on it. I had to pick it up and go get it tested for all sorts of diseases. It seems it was poop from a fox. We won't let him live that one down.

SkippyMom said...

My kids [THANK GOD - all five of them] never did this...but...

My brother and sister shared a room when they were little. They had bunkbeds - she was on the top at 5 years old and he was on the bottom at 2 years old. My Mom put them to bed for a nap one afternoon and when she went to check on them my brother had completely smeared the wall under his sisters bed [think the nice enclosed rectangular space created by bunkbeds] with his poop.

Yep. Something about boys.

Stephanie said...

My 2 year old wakes up early on weekends and the only way for me to get a little extra shut-eye is to lay down in his twin bed while he plays in his room. About three weeks ago, I wake up to this overwhelming smell of poo. He'd pooped, taken off his pull-up, put it under the covers (next to me) and then covered it up.

It was all down his legs and on his hands, but he kept playing on the floor til I woke up. It was still warm, so not very long. I had to call in reinforcements (the hubby) to help with the clean up, but we're both in agreement. Poop is way easier to clean up (less retching) than vomit ANY DAY!!!!

He's also taken to just whipping off his pull-up a la Chippendales, all in one movement. He did it in front of the g-parents the other night while we were talking in the living room. Poop went flying. All they could say was "woah!" I was laughing so hard that I almost peed my pants.

Vindiciti said...

My oldest son was a poo painter, too. His favorite canvas was his room. Especially his plastic yellow VW bug looking bed. Which was textured. Which the poo wouldn't come off of for anything. It was almost daily that I sat in that room, crying and scrubbing poo from the walls, floor, and that evil bed.

Missy said...

My oldest went through a phase where he would take his diaper off and paint the wall and crib with his own poop. Fun times.

AlsoMean said...

My kids have been bathtime poopers. It is apparently hilarious to fart in the tub, since you can see the bubbles. However, it's not always a fart that emerges.
A strainer works well for the floaty bits. Tub toys can be soaked in a solution of bleach, hot water and dish soap. I prefer ajax or comet to scrub down the tub....

Anonymous said...

Yep my son did it...my husband was about to cash in his father card when I intervened. He would always do it when he woke up in the morning so I dressed him in sleeper jammies and then safety pinned the zipper to the jammies. No more access meant he still had a father:)

Itchin' Stitchin' said...

Too Funny!!!! My Child #1 & #2 never took off their diaper or did anything with poo .. but oh #3! He loves to take off this diaper in the middle of night and finger paint. The first time it happened I freaked out.

Chad and Nicole said...

One of my daughters had "runny" poop one night, and instead of coming to tell my husband or I. She crawled over her sister (their beds were right next to each other) leaving a poop trail over her sister. Then she went to her dresser, took off her poopy pjs and panties, SAT down on the floor to wipe her bum off with some shirts that happened to be within reach, went out into the front room (all while leaving a poop trail behind her), sat on the couch, walked to the bathroom, and then came and climbed into our bed!! Needless to say, it was a LONG night of cleaning up poop! And since I went through this I have deemed myself worthy to laugh at anyone else that has to deal with kids and their poopy messes :)

Renate Hunter said...

My boys never did this but I did work in a nursing home. One senile women was in mittens and tied to the rail and a newby nurses aid thought it was terrible. She untied the lady and about 30 minutes later, she discovered why she was tied--adult crap all over the room and the lady and the newby got to clean it and learn a valueable lesson. One place I worked at had a whole ward of senile elderly and it wasn't unusal to find terds on the piano....

Anonymous said...

I don't want to get too graphic, but my sister has twins whose cribs are placed fairly close to each other and they are VERY good sharers...

Faith said...

I thought that every kid did this... I mean, you have a medium for art and nothing but time up there in your crib, why wouldn't you?

I was at my wit's end with my daughter when a mom friend told me about diaper pins. She had those pins until she was potty trained, and even then we kept an eye on her. My son has poo-painted once for the babysitter, and ever since then we've pinned him. For the creative child, you can use a combination of a onesie, pants, sleeper on backwards, pins, and possibly duct tape.

big mama said...

None of my 3 kids did this--bless their sweet hearts--but when I was 14, I was babysitting a 2 1/2 yr old terror and he escaped from his room where he was supposed to be sleeping. I looked all over the house for about 10 minutes. Right before I was going to call the police I saw movement behind the dining room drapes. It was then I smelled it. a pile of poo on the carpet, some new brown art decor on the walls and the fabric covered chair, and last but not least--he used the drapes to wipe himself down.

Michelle said...

When my middle daughter was about 15 months old she was just finishing her lunch in her highchair - safe enough right !!

I had started to clean up the kitchen after lunch and when I glanced over at her she was completely covered in what looked like chocolate. But then I realized I hadn't give her anything with chocolate in it.

After throwing up just a little in mouth I started the task of cleaning her and the highchair up. Oh the glamorous life of a SAHM !

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Ha ha! That was the funniest post I have read all day! Your poor sister... how unlucky was she?!

jaywalker said...

my son would remove his diaper during naps and then trudge through it in his bare feet. you could track wherever he had been... on the carpet. shudder.

Audra said...

Mine went through a poop phase as well. It was AWFUL! It lasted about two weeks for finding her playing with it after ever nap and morning. I finally put her in onesies, feety jammies and safety pined the zipper so she couldn't undress herself.

Kathy said...

When you least expect it, you will look outside into your backyard and see your son standing at the top of the slide "making a waterfall" with his own urine...in full view of all of the neighbors.

Lisha said...

I feel your sister's pain. There are days when I swear that my child is the re-incarnation of a poop flinging monkey.

Anonymous said...

My son was sick with diarrhea and had a nasty and very smelly accident in the middle of his huge floor rug in his room. The smell and stain would not come out & we stuck the rug out on the street for the city pick up that day (it was coming any minute). Someone driving by our house picked it up for a nice surprise later (not the cit pick up). Gross!

Steff said...

Hahaha bummer!

I went to a local indoor swimming pool a few months ago with some cousins and the place was PACKED. It was winter time, meaning there wasn't anything to do in my little town except swim. We were all having a good time when we hear over the load speaker, "Please exit the swimming pool immediately. There is excrement floating in the pool that needs to be removed." Needless to say, everyone got out REAL quick. And then I proceeded to leave and go home.

Dolly said...

Our families prize possession is a video of the four older siblings cleaning up their baby brother's crib-with clothes pins on noses and rubber clothes for everyone. It was a horrendous moment!!!

Logan & Allie said...

I don't have kids.. yet! My first bundle of joy will be here in December but I do have a poo story to add to your collection! When my little sister and I were really young my sister went through a "play with my poo" phase. One morning while my big brothers were at school, my mom decided she was going to paint our fingernails. I was excited and went in the other room with her for no longer than 5 minutes to pick out the perfect shade of pink for my nails. On our way back to the kitchen we heard my 2 year old sister yelling "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" and sounding really pleased with whatever new game she had come up with. We entered that kitchen seconds later and had found that my sister had taken off her diaper... slimed it all over the kitchen table... and was doing her version of a "slip n' slide" in her poo! I'm pretty sure my mom burned our kitchen table after that incident!

Tonya said...

Just last week, the babysitter emailed me to tell me that her two-year-old (he actually turned two that day)had thrown poop at my three-year-old daughter during nap time. My daughter, in turn, puked.

I was super glad that I didn't have to clean any of that up!

Andie said...

I have twins who used to share a room. One night I heard giggles which was nothing new. Then I heard the word poop which lead to hysterical laughter. I paused. Truly, I froze; when I entered, I found two little girls, 2 walls and a bed covered in poop. Keep in mind, one of them played in the other's poop which is beyond gross in my opinion. My sweet toe head had brown highlights. It took a great deal of pick up, sanitizing and bathing to make it right. It still haunts me and it has been about 8 months. I moved them that night into separate rooms and only put them back together 2 days ago but am on edge every night until they go asleep for fear of another poop fest.

Cat said...

I sincerely hope that if/when my triplets ever start this charming habit, that my husband is home alone with them the first time it happens.

Is that wrong?

Mariangie Gonzalez said...

Tears are running down my cheeks... when I didn't have kids, I never understood why my oldest sister always said to me: "This is a circus"

Now after 2 kids, I fully understand and agree... being a mom is the greatest ADVENTURE ever.

maria said...

My daughter may or may not have pooped on a cat.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I almost called it quits over a similar episode. He was 'watching' the kids, aged 1 and 3, while I was at work one Saturday afternoon. I came home to find him watching a movie, oblivious to the smell created by our daughters who had been 'playing so nicely' in their room. He has a weak stomach, so bathing the kids, cleaning the walls, scrubbing the carpet, and all the vile laundry fell to me. This was eight years ago, and I still haven't quite gotten over it... though reading others' stories makes me a little more forgiving. lol

Jo's girl said...

if a kid doesn't finger paint and or play with his poo, you will at least have to deal with blow out diapers and diarrhea. my daughter as a small infant was so constipated that when she had to poo once I had to help pull it out. -talk about the things you do for your child. she was screaming and crying as we held her in the sink with warm water to help soften her stool.

I guess all the morning sickness helps get you over the gross factor quick.

Anonymous said...

You can't be a real parent until you've been peed on, pooped on, puked on, sneezed on, and drooled on: sometimes all in the same day.

(I KNOW I entered my password correctly, but it won't take it.)

Anonymous said...

My son never went through it, but my 2 daughters did, at the same time, it was horrible. The oldest of the 2 painted her entire room as high as she could reach on the walls. I was pregnant at the time, I vomited about 10 times cleaning that up. I sent her to her grandma's, I was VERY upset, I didn't even want to look at her. My youngest daughter went through 4 playpens before she was 2, I would clean them and clean them, until finally I would give up and buy a new one, because I couldn't get the smell out anymore. I finally figured out to put all her sleepers on backwards, worked like a charm.
I am so glad this stage ended, I would have either been put in a prison or mental institution by now if it hadn't.

Anonymous said...

As a highschooler I was babysitting for three young girls, reading htem a bedtme story when i could NOT get over the poo smell. I asked the girls if anyone had to poo? if anyone had pooped recently? i checked the youngest girls' diaper. all three stared innocently at me. By now I am concerned. Am I sitting in poo? I finally found it - one had wiped her bum on a sock (imagine one of those sweet dainty socks with the little lace ruffle) and stuffed it behind the bed.
did not look forward to telling the parents

Anonymous said...

I had the Primary presidency over for a meeting. A few kids shut themselves into the bathroom. It was just a couple of minutes, what could go wrong? When I opened the door it was everywhere. And they were smiling as if they were little artists. Also have had powdered dishwasher detergent rubbed ceremoniously into the coffee table, and a lot of wonderful concoctions of baby lotion and oatmeal, for example, from little cooks who now are creative cooking bloggers.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I love your blog! When my daughter was 2 and barely potty trained she went potty by herself. I realized I hadn't heard anything for a while so I went to check on her. I opened the bathroom door to find her and the entire bathroom covered in poo. She had taken special pains to make sure that all of the little nooks and crannies in her potty were covered. To make matters worse, my little sister who was 4, had come in and found her first. She has a weak stomach and threw up all over herself and the bathroom!

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Amy said...

This is such an old post but I can't resist - my son at two weeks old had a poop explosion. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not been in the middle of changing him. Poop flew out of him and onto the walls (4 feet away), the floor, and did I mention that I was changing him in the church nursery? It got onto another new mother who was quietly rocking her newborn son. It has been two weeks and it still makes me cringe in embarrassment!