August 4, 2010

The Free Movie

This morning, one of the local movie theaters in town opened its doors to Orlando's youngest citizens, offering anyone under the age of 10 a free ticket to see Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie.

Standing in line for 20 minutes to watch a movie that came out on DVD eight years ago did not make me feel super good about myself. Once the movie started, and I realized that all of the characters in it were vegetables, I began to actively look around for fire alarms.

Thankfully, Cameron put me out of my misery fairly quickly. He only lasted five minutes on my lap before he started arching his back.

I had wisely seated my family in the very back of the theater so for awhile, I just stood in the aisle next to my kids while they watched the show. When Cameron started screaming, I told my older kids that I was going to take the baby out in the hall for a minute and would be right back.

"I'll be right through those doors if you need me," I whispered.

No more than a minute later, all three of my kids stormed outside. Two of them were crying; the third was holding my purse.

"We're done with the movie," said the purse holder.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

The details are a little fuzzy, but from what I could gather, a fight broke out over who would be the first to dig through my purse in search of a pack of gum.

I reclaimed possession of my purse.

"Nice job," I told them as we walked to the car.

The three rows in front of us in the movie theater were occupied by preschoolers from a daycare center.

"Don't you think it's weird that a bunch of little kids can keep their hands to themselves during a movie but you guys can't?"

No one except for me seemed to think that was weird at all.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, a thought crossed my mind that at the time, seemed rather pleasant.

If my children were russet potatoes or ears of corn, they wouldn't have hands.


Anonymous said...

You are halirous! Keep up the funny posts.

Connie said...

They wouldn't chew gum either!

Red said...

I can't believe you aren't familiar with VeggieTales! We (kids AND parents) love them at our house. The Belly Button Song is one of our favorites!

Anonymous said...

If you kids were russet potatoes or ears of corn, well, that'd be a point for Jonathan Swift, wouldn't it?

Anonymous said...

Oh lord, they're getting older and you have FOUR as opposed to my TWO. I can see your brain cells and good temper fleeing as I type! Give you another 5 the least....before you start looking to commit yourself for a vacation! LMAO.

You're always welcome at my house. It's a nuthouse.

You're a brave woman. ;)

Enjoy your blog as always, first thing I check every morning!


Becky said...

Today I asked my son if he liked cucumbers. He said no. When I asked why, he said, "Because sometimes they talk." I always knew Vegggie Tales would warp my kids.

Rachel and Danny said...

ha, i seriously love your posts! this is like my new favorite blog. said...

So true, so true!

Making It Work Mom said...

If I remember from my youth (I've never taken my kids) those free movies were a little bit of a scarey scene- very chaotic. Or maybe that was just the parenting style of the 70's!
And of course it is not weird that those preschoolers can keep their hands to themselves - they are not related. When you are related there are cosmic forces at work that dictate you must touch a sibling every 5 minutes or else!

Anonymous said...

If they were corn and potatoes, they'd be all eyes and ears!!!

Anonymous said...

Though a little strange, I love Veggie Tales! We always watched it at church because it was so biblically based, with a childlike twist.

One of my favorites was something like, God where are you when I'm scared?

It had a great song, "God is bigger than the boogy man."

Pamela said...

This might be my favorite post ever. LOL.

nmassie218 said...

This is hilarious! Love your blog!

Teen Queen said...

that sounds like the kind of stuff my little sibling s fight over: who gets the last piece of pizza, what movie they are going to watch, and yea, who is going to find mom's gum. hilarious!

Sants said...

We love "Where is My Hairbrush?" song and for sure the Belly Button song. Veggie Tales are hilarious!

Emme said...

Or mouths. With teenagers that sounds like bliss.

The Mommy said...

"" Great! Now the VeggieTales theme song is stuck in my head!

These videos are some of the only ones that all of my kids who can talk agree on right now.

Wendy said...

Love Veggie Tales!!!

"Oh Where is my Hairbrush" that song! My 3 year old loves Veggie Tales and the songs can actually be quite addicting to adults as well...well at least in my house they are:) I do find it very comical to see a big cucumber talking and singing on the movies though.

Angie said...

We call them the relig-tables. Once, I had to see them live. Just imagine.

Andie said...

Seriously, I can't stop giggling about this! Thanks for another laugh!!!

Laura, Ben, and family said...

good News: vegetables don't have hands.
Bad news: they pick things up by some feat of the mind ... they look at it and it picks up as if there were invisible hands.
What would happen if children had invisible hands? Very scary thought. You could never tell who really hit who. :-)

Anonymous said...

We, too love Veggie Tales around here & my kids are 11 & 8 1/2. Jonah is one of our favorite ones!

~Debra at

Sherrie said...

ROTFLMAO I could so see the searching for gum scenario occuring in this household.

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