September 29, 2010
One of my six year-old sons woke up on the wrong side of the sleeping bag today.
The reason why he slept in a sleeping bag in the hallway instead of in his bed last night has less to do with fondness for camping and more to do with an attitude problem that resulted in the loss of the privilege of having one's own bedroom.
There are a lot of things that my son didn't like about sleeping on the floor: the carpet smelled funny, the cat sniffed his head all night, the monster who lives in the hall closet came back from vacation. By far the biggest gripe, however, was the unfortunate fact that every time his brother or sister had to get up to use the bathroom, they had to step over him.
This proved to be a task that neither of my son's siblings seemed to be able to do without accidentally tripping over and/or bumping into him.
"KNOCK IT OFF!"
This is the sound of the unfairly persecuted.
For reasons no one can explain, last night the two children not sleeping in the hallway were plagued with overactive bladders. One got up three times before I gave him permission to urinate in his pants if need be. I had to ask the other one if she needed me to put her in a diaper.
"No one is getting out of their beds again," I said more hopefully than forcefully.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard a loud scream.
It didn't come from the sleeping bag, but from the person who tempted fate...and teased the person inside the sleeping bag.