September 28, 2010

Work from Home


There are lots of ways that moms can strike it rich with a home business:

Option A: make headbands/hair clips/ large infant hair bows and sell them on Etsy

Option B: sell herbal supplements/hypo-allergenic lip gloss/wickless candles to friends and neighbors

Devoid of creativity, people skills, and patience, I am left with no other choice but to go with Option C: namely, I buy toothbrushes at the Dollar Store and sell them for a profit to my children.

My kids cycle through toothbrushes like they're going out of style. When I wizened up to what was going on and instituted a strict limit of the number of toothbrushes one could use in any given month, horrible things started happening.

First, toothbrushes started disappearing from the bathroom.

"I CAN'T FIND MY TOOTHBRUSH!" they screamed. "If you want me to brush my teeth, you'll have to give me another one."

When that didn't work, the toothbrushes began committing suicide.

"It jumped into the toilet," my son told me, pointing to the corpse.

"The cat licked it," cried my daughter.

After losing six toothbrushes in two days (5 to the toilet and 1 to the cat), I turned into CVS.

"If you want a new toothbrush, you'll each have to give me a dollar," I told them.

"That's not fair!" my daughter wailed. She pointed out that the toothbrushes come three to a pack at the dollar store.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm just getting my piece of the pie," I told her.

My sons decided that they would rather fish their toothbrushes out of the toilet.

"Negative," I replied.

It's been three days, and so far I've made $5.

Easy money....I'm telling you.

32 comments

starnes family said...

Such a great idea. And, I'm currently job hunting!

Thanks for the tip.

Amie said...

haha you crack me up!!

Nicole said...

This is genius. I'm doin' it. I have four toilet loving toothbrush bombers. They losing all the birthday money if they keep that up.

Emily Heizer Photography said...

This is brilliant. I wonder if I could pay my rent this way...

The Meditative Mom said...

lol You are too funny. I'll have to remember this for when my little guy has teeth to brush!

Making It Work Mom said...

Not a Bad Idea- I think I am going to sleep on that one!

Beth said...

Love it!! The toothbrushes won't work for us, but I'm sure I can come up with another option... pencils, shoes, hair clips. The possibilities are endless!!

Just Plain Tired said...

I think the amazing thing here is your kids want to brush their teeth. When my son was younger that was a full time job ensuring he did.

Misfit Mommy (aka the Antichrist) said...

Hmmmmm...I chose thw wickless candles options, but I'm thinking between socks, underwear, and hand held video games, I could make a lot more money off my kids!

Mindy said...

Funny girl.

Mal said...

Man, they obviously don't realize how much a decent toothbrush costs! I buy them every six months in two packs at WalMart and I still have to slow my breathing down and remind myself it's all for the best. THEN I have to convince my husband that his old one really is beyond use at this point and he MUST start using the one I just bought!

Jenny said...

Now think global: Sell your toothbrushes on Etsy to other people's kids.
Bedazzled, of course.

grammaDawn said...

I used to make my kids pay to get their clean clothes back from the laundry. They realized it was much easier to throw clean, folded clothes back in the laundry then it was to actually pull open a drawer and put them away. It was a dead give-a-way when doing laundry I would happen on folded clothes in the dirty clothes hamper.

Gina said...

This makes me feel so much better. I am going absolutely bonkers replacing kid toothbrushes! I am so, so, so glad that I am not the only one!

Creative Family Moments said...

Genius!

Emily said...

HAHAHA....Wow! And I thought that it was bad that my son keeps playing in the bathroom sink.

melissa78 said...

LOVE IT!!!!!!
You should really write a book with all your cleer ideas.

eliana23 said...

I sold pencils for $1/hour to students for a while (refunded if returned). It was far too profitable for my conscience.

Nicki said...

Newly following and thanks for making me laugh this morning! I needed it!!

Nikki said...

I believe Jenny is a genius - of course, with all the work required to Bedazzle the toothbrushes I would bump up the price to $1.75

vanilla said...

But in order to afford your exorbitant prices, your kids must have a better source of income than their mother?

Anonymous said...

your children are gross.

Olah Momma! said...

SAHM gotta get creative!

I am inviting you to add your blog and/or business domain at http://olahmomma.com/mylounge - a directory of blogs and businesses by moms/parents with rate and review tools.

Teen Queen said...

i have a friend whos mom charges them hen they eat on the couch, cuz she hates it. its hilarious.

Abby_MN said...

*like* :o)

Lynn said...

That is just too funny. My sil has both an etsy shop AND sell herbal suppliments, and she's begining to dabble in the direct market lotions/lip gloss market too.

My kids love their toothbrushes so much, I have a hard time getting them to replace them.

vanilla said...

I am unendingly amazed that humorless people read a humor blog.

Keep up the good work, Jana.

The Green-Eyed Brat said...

You are my new hero.

A Musing Mother said...

You forgot Heritage Maker photo books and Mary Kay.

I'm just sayin'.

Sarah said...

FUN-NY!

My money-maker was being the room-cleaning fairy and charging a fee for it...my daughter has since taken over the role as a money-maker with her brothers.

Anonymous said...

LOL My mom was so cheap with 6 kids she would grab all the tooth brushes run them through the dish washer and say "Everyone pick out a new color" That way if the cat licked it or the toilet got scrubbed she felt it was clean. YUCKK!!!

Raich said...

i sell my 3 boys their lego pieces i pick up off the floor. and then 2 days later i pick them up off the floor again and sell them right back to them. maybe if i had more kids i'd make more...