October 25, 2010


My seven year-old daughter has reached the point where she demands privacy in the bathroom.

Normally I would applaud such independence. On the issue of personal hygiene, however, I am torn.

Based upon the evidence found at the scene (unopened shampoo bottles), I can safely say that she has not washed her hair in over a month.

Based upon the same body of evidence (mounds of empty conditioner bottles), I can say with equal confidence that her scalp is sufficiently moisturized.

"It's kind of like washing your hands without soap," I explained as gently as possible.

My daughter rolled her eyes.

Last week, I kept close tabs of the bottle of conditioner. On Sunday, the bottle was full. By Thursday, it was empty. On the days in between, my daughter's hair stayed permanently wet; it was that greasy.

On Friday, I produced a quarter from my pocket.

"You only need to use this much conditioner every day," I said, pointing to the size of the coin.

My daughter looked at me like I had pushed her over a cliff.

"If I only use that much conditioner then I will have to comb my hair!" she wailed.

The injustices of life are great.

32 comments

Anonymous said...

Ha. Sounds like me when I was a kid. I even once washed my hair with Skin So Soft.

Mormon Surrogate said...

My kids have done that as well...now I try to get them the 2 in 1 and everyone's happy!
:)

Melissa said...

My husband (lol) is like that... I was going to suggest 2 in 1, but I see somebody else already had... I used to be like that with No More Tangles when I was a kid.

Aubrey said...

My mom showed me your blog...It is hilarious! Thanks for reminding me how funny being a mom can be. You have a great perspective.
My oldest is 8. She takes marathon long showers but I wonder if anything really gets clean in there.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Just you wait until the teen years, Suave shampoo will not longer fit the bill. They want expensive stuff that I won't even pay for my own locks.

Crystal said...

Bahaha sounds like my 7 year old...anything to get out of brushing her hair

Amy Lynn said...

hahaha, I used to go through massive amounts of conditioner AND shampoo when I was little. My parents bought small little bottles and rationed my amounts... maybe you could get her travel size bottles and refill them daily.

Katie said...

OMG, I was a conditioner addict at your daughter's age. I swear, something about it...I hated that sampoo took away the lovely silky/gresy feel. Haha. But my mom "tricked" me by filling the conditioner bottle with Pantene 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. It looks and feels like conditioner going on, but it is actually shampoo, too. I never really knew until she told me like a year later. If it helps :)

p.s. I live in Orlando-- back home after years away. I am so amused reading your take on the area. Email me if you need any ideas for things to do!

eliana23 said...

Eww. Be careful giving her hugs.

Pam the Realtor said...

Wait until your boys start taking really long showers. That's even more entertaining. I wanted to jump my sons case about how much time he was spending in the shower until my husband told me to leave him alone. Took me a while but I finally figured it out!

Beth said...

This doesn't go away. My 19 year old daughter does use shampoo, but uses ridiculous amounts of conditioner. My husband has had to unclog the drain a few times because of all the goop in it.

Just Plain Tired said...

There's definitely some logic there. That's a priceless comeback she had. ;)

Deanna said...

My 7 yr old boy takes looong showers and sometimes I check in after 20 or 30 minutes and he is BONE DRY! At least it lets us eat dinner peacefully and have grown up conversations.
And I ration out the shampoo in a medicine cup.
Mean moms unite!

Mal said...

Hey, that's definitely better than the time my younger brother and I were in a group of, oh, maybe 300 other teenagers--I was among the oldest and he is three years younger than me--and one of the leaders asked, "What is something you just really hate?" Most were shouting things like, "Homework!" or "Blind dates!" 15-year-old Sam says, "Taking showers!" I just stared across the crowed at him as he smiled and nodded his head. The group around him moved visibly further away from him.

My mum used to use a leave-in conditioner on us when we were little, which meant she would put it in our hair for us after we were out of the bath--though honestly, we never needed conditioner. My hair is about as straight as any flatiron could possibly make it.

Sarah said...

I think my son has been doing that. His hair never smells clean and the conditioner if mysteriously disappearing.

Kim Ginsberg said...

At least they stay in the same bottle... My son likes to make "cleaning potions" he calls them. All the shampoo, body wash, conditioner, face wash, shaving cream, whatever is in the shower, all get mixed together in various bottles and sometimes lathered on every surface... Apparently it cleans better. I wondered why he kept coming out of the shower smelling like Skintamate Raspberry rain shaving cream!

The Meditative Mom said...

A girls gotta get a good deep condition in now and then! lol

I'm just a girl said...

Love it! No, shampoo for over a month! Wow. I actually wrote about that the other day "Skip the Poo."

http://imjustagirl86.blogspot.com/2010/10/skip-poo.html

Anyways I HATED brushing my hair when I was younger. My mom would torture me trying to get a brush through it.

Kristine said...

My mom gave me the boy cut when I wouldn't let her brush/comb my hair?

Lisa said...

you're WAY nicer than I am.

i would have said until she starts using shampoo - no privacy!

:)

The Desert Girl said...

As for conditioner, don't mix Pantene with Garnier Fructis shine serum or you'll end up smelling like a pine tree like me. Seriously, I hummed Christmas carols all day and felt like doing a bit of shopping.

Emily said...

That is so awesome! I think my girls believe the same thing. We go through conditioner like it's going out of style and yet I rarely have to replace the shampoo bottles!

Shannon said...

Too Funny!! My daughter used to lock herself in the bathroom at night and then come out 5 minutes later claiming to be all clean. She always had a towel wrapped around her head and one night I pulled the towel off her head to discover it was dry. She finally admitted to washing her body and then just splashing water on her hair. I could never figure out why! She's almost 14 now and I have a hard time keeping all of her hair products in the house because she uses so much shampoo, conditioner, and mousse!

Lissa @ MyThriftyTreasures said...

I would recommend the 2-in-1 or take away the conditioner altogether and have her use the spray in conditioner or no tangles stuff. My Mom never let us use conditioner as a kid for that exact reason AND we all had oily enough hair we didn't really need it til we were teenagers and old enough to know how to use it.

Anonymous said...

While she may be going overboard with the conditioner just a bit, she technically can get away with not shampooing every day. She could do every other day and it wouldn't hurt.

Jessica said...

At least she's bathing. I can remember my cousins saying that that didn't need a bath because they'd had one the day before. At my house we bathed everday. I'm not sure what happened at theirs!

Kathie1213 said...

You have made my day with this entry. I have been laughing my head off. OH, the injustice indeed~!

Janet said...

I too am a conditioner hog but NOT like that!!

Oh the torture:)

Amanda said...

This is like reading about my own childhood. I think I went 3 months without using shampoo once!! Luckily one day I changed my mind and started only shampooing.

Kay said...

She could use just conditioner to wash her hair, but obviously needs to be a normal amount and rinsed well after. Also needs to be a silicone, -cone free conditioner, the more natural the better.

Check out Co-washing or No-poo methods of washing your hair. I use Bert's Bees Conditioner to wash my hair daily. Natural products help my hair and scalp so much. I used to have incredibly oily hair and since trying no-poo and now co-washing, my hair doesn't look greasy at the end of the day. Always worth a try.

Southern Queen of the Crazies said...

Love it. So glad I found your blog!!!!!

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