October 25, 2010
My seven year-old daughter has reached the point where she demands privacy in the bathroom.
Normally I would applaud such independence. On the issue of personal hygiene, however, I am torn.
Based upon the evidence found at the scene (unopened shampoo bottles), I can safely say that she has not washed her hair in over a month.
Based upon the same body of evidence (mounds of empty conditioner bottles), I can say with equal confidence that her scalp is sufficiently moisturized.
"It's kind of like washing your hands without soap," I explained as gently as possible.
My daughter rolled her eyes.
Last week, I kept close tabs of the bottle of conditioner. On Sunday, the bottle was full. By Thursday, it was empty. On the days in between, my daughter's hair stayed permanently wet; it was that greasy.
On Friday, I produced a quarter from my pocket.
"You only need to use this much conditioner every day," I said, pointing to the size of the coin.
My daughter looked at me like I had pushed her over a cliff.
"If I only use that much conditioner then I will have to comb my hair!" she wailed.
The injustices of life are great.