October 22, 2010

The Missing Cat


"THE CAT RAN AWAY!"

The scream could be heard for miles.

I was cleaning out the litter box when I heard the good news.

Millie is our food aggressive pound cat who earlier this week ate through Kellen's lunch box to get to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"We saw her running down the street!" our daughter cried in a panic as she grabbed my husband's hand and dragged him outside.

I failed to see the urgency in my daughter's request. My husband, who refers to the cat as his second wife, saw things differently.

By the time I got Cameron strapped into the stroller, the rest of my family members were scaling a neighbor's fence.

"What are you doing?" I yelled. As much as I like strangers running through my backyard, I'm sensitive to the fact that not everyone feels the same way.

"I see her tail!" Cortlen explained as he disappeared behind a cement wall.

Several minutes later, my husband and children came out of the neighbor's front door. Evidently Cortlen was mistaken.

Shortly after this embarrassing episode, I lost interest in the search and walked back home. Once inside, I made my way to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner. Inside this room I found my nemesis, lapping up spaghetti sauce out of a saucepan on the stove.

31 comments

Janet said...

Gosh I love cats, sneaky little devil :)

Katrina and Ken said...

Awesome! they really are too smart for us, those devious cats.

Crystal Jeffers said...

sure glad I am "allergic" to cats and can't have any in my house.

they drive me nuts.

Jennifer said...

Our dog is like that. Much loved by everyone else, grimly tolerated by me. We have an active war over the appropriate place to pee (NOT under the dinner table), the wisdom of barking ferociously as elderly ladies with osteoporosis walking on the other side of the street half a block down, and the sanctity of the garbage can in the middle of the night.

Regardless of how adored he is by the rest of the family, and how much everyone else might want to pet and play with him, though, they never seem to notice him when they aren't in the mood to pet and play with him anymore. So, whenever he wants something, I'm the one he comes to, despite the fact that I don't share the rest of the family's delight in his presence. I am the only reliable source of food, water, and being let out of doors, and he knows it.

You'd think he'd repay the favor by not peeing on the clothes hamper, but no. Because he lives to make my life hell.

Heather said...

I wish 'my' cats would run away...

Niki said...

Ugh...housepets. About a month ago I ceased buying $50/bag food for my dog. Ashamedly my thinking was, "Maybe she won't live as long." It only resulted in an allergy reaction (itchy eyes) that resulted in her scratching and creating a nice lesion on her eyeball. I now sit here having spent $200 at the vet for an exam and medications, $50 on a new bag of dog food, and an option of taking her to an opthamologist, which will cost me approximately $1500, or letting nature take its course. I have antibiotics and I know where to get more - nature gets my vote.

Mal said...

That's a clever kitty; have a double run down the street while she makes for the sauce.

I like cats. I love their I-allow-you-to-live-only-because-I'm-too-small-to-eat-you-and-don't-believe-in-wasting-carcasses kind of attitude.

But I don't love fat cats. Go ahead. Call me discriminatory.

And by the way, the word verification is "poussi."

eliana23 said...

Sorry it didn't die.

Katie said...

I sincerely hope my birds disappear. Isn't that awful? I don't think so but I'm pretty sure my girls would be devastated.

Becky said...

Had a similar cat. She would jump up on the counter to eat cookie dough when my back was turned. We tried everything to try and "train" her and finally had to send her back. Life is too short to have your home ruled by a cat!

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha! The cat came back! Lived with 5 cats at once while growing up and not sure what my mom was thinking of when she let a stray cat in the house who turned out pregnant! AND, she's allergic to cats too in which she took allergy shots every month! While I am a cat lover, I will never let one in my house because I am not willing to deal with the upkeep and feeding the dang thing... I have 4 kids already.. hello??

Shawn said...

I'm not a big cat person either so I feel your pain with that disgusting lounge in your dinner...YUCK!

Perhaps it wouldn't as hard for you if your husband cleaned up after his "second wife". I found not having to clean the liter box the biggest reason for doing the happy dance when my cat moved in with my parents.

insanemommy said...

I so feel your pain!

whiting family said...

My kids have been going through pet withdrawal since our overseas move 19 months ago. I just promised them a cat. What did I do??

Jennifer said...

Cats are stealth like that. Maybe they're ninjas.

Renate Hunter said...

I love cats and dogs and well, I love animals and have raised many in my day including a pair of ducks(LingLing and BingLing). Every cat has a different personality. We had one that was in-door/out-door and went out the door to do its potty needs--loved that cat!!! But we live on a farm by a highway, so after 9 years we lost him. There are good cats and bad cats...my 17 year old female got alzhiemers and thought my carpet was straw and did her jobs on it--she's gone now(don't know where) but not in our house any more. So what can you do? Hope for the good ones.

Leslie said...

Wow! What a little stinker. My cat is a pain in my butt too. She turns her nose up at milk, won't touch canned catfood or even TUNA!! But God help me if I leave a photograph out where she can get to it - she'll like a hole clear through it.

Heather said...

That's funny!! Was she ever even outside??

dmuseit said...

It was a ruse to get you all out of the house. If the cat could have figured how to lock you out...

rella12 said...

I love your blog so much. Laughing at your family episodes makes me forget how annoying my own are.

Cathryn said...

Last Thanksgiving at my M-I-L's house( which is a 13,000 sq ft dog house, home to 4 big dogs and 4 cats and 2 adults) the butter dish which was put on the extravagantly decorated dining table had cat lick marks in it!

Anonymous said...

What a little punk! One of my cats is like that. Last week I made hot dogs for dinner. While they were in the pot, I went downstairs for some reason. Came up not 5 minutes later and the cat had fished out all but ONE of 5 hotdogs and was eating them on my cutting board. That was after I had fed her leftover chicken breast.

I think she has a greed problem.

_Cit_

Renate Hunter said...

To Cathryn: Didn't they realized that the cats licked the butter??? It is such a easy thing to figure out. So gross.

Megan Orsini said...

I'm pretty sure cats don't go to heaven, that's why they try to do all their "living it up" while they're here...party on kitty :P

Now, dogs on the other hand...well come on...who can ever fault a dog...well, maybe just that one time when she ate the whole stick of butter, threw it up on the living room rug, and then proceeded to eat a tube of oil base paint and...yep, same ending...

Hmmm...whose idea was it to bring pets into homes?!?!?!

Jen said...

I think you feel the same way about your cat as I do about ours. One eats too fast and barfs all over the house. The other pees in the clean laundry. Fortunately for the cats, the kids love them...and will be taking them with them when they leave home!

Emma said...

Noooo!! LOL! This was a funny post! I enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for the laughs.

Shanna said...

I used to think my Grandmas were so mean because they hated cats and thought they were dirty. They were geniuses!! My cat is 17 yrs old, about 3 years of hideous pooping, pissing and barfing past his prime. The vet always says "Wow, he's so healthy for his age!" and I think "where did I go wrong?" I have come so far from the days of having 2 cats and their litter box (in my closet!SO GROSS), 2 guinea pigs and their cages and spending ridiculous amounts of money on teeth cleaning for cats($500) and fresh veg for the pigs. I don't think I could ever have a pet again after this one finally kicks the bucket.

kelly said...

i'm newish here. I've been reading for a bit without commenting (don't you hate that), but I have to say you're like a breath of fresh hilarious air and I really like it here. I've never read a truer montage of motherhood before.
thanks for the laughs past present and future.

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

I'm pretty sure "The Second Wife" had that one all planned out!

EXPERT OPINION said...

The pet hate in this thread is startling.

" Niki said...

Ugh...housepets. About a month ago I ceased buying $50/bag food for my dog. Ashamedly my thinking was, "Maybe she won't live as long." It only resulted in an allergy reaction (itchy eyes) that resulted in her scratching and creating a nice lesion on her eyeball. I now sit here having spent $200 at the vet for an exam and medications, $50 on a new bag of dog food, and an option of taking her to an opthamologist, which will cost me approximately $1500, or letting nature take its course. I have antibiotics and I know where to get more - nature gets my vote."

Niki, you're a vile piece of shit. Your callousness and irresponsibility are NOTHING to brag about. What a sickening comment.

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