October 15, 2010

Parent-Teacher Conferences

I love parent-teacher conferences because in them I learn new and fascinating things about my children...

Like that my daughter is addicted to band-aids and occasionally sticks pencils up her nose.

And that Cortlen fake fights with his friends at lunch and routinely ties his shoelaces together in order to make himself trip and fall.

And that Kellen excuses himself to use the bathroom every ten minutes.

"Tell him to hold it," my husband told the teacher.

"I feel uncomfortable doing that if he has a medical condition," the teacher replied uneasily.

We assured the poor woman that the only thing overactive in our son is his own imagination.

"I am so mad at you!" someone barked when I picked him up from school this afternoon. He slumped in his seat and folded his arms across his chest.

"Sorry to crash the party," I told him.

"I can hold it in all day," bragged my daughter.

As she said this, I noticed that she had band-aids wrapped around all of her fingers.

"You've got you're own issues to worry about," I told her.

"Where are we going?" Cortlen asked as I turned into the mall parking lot.

"I'm buying you a new pair of shoes," I told him. "Velcro."

25 comments

Donda said...

That is hilarious!!!

Marydon said...

Sorry, but roflol!
Have a beautiful PS weekend ~
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

Jen said...

Also sorry, but really glad to read my future (fewer kids, but the stories likely will be similar). :)

Mrs. Tuna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Tuna said...

Of course she can hold it all day, she hasn't yet had a kid sitting on her bladder for 9 months.

Jamie said...

HAHA, love it!! We get to endure Parent Teacher conferences next week.

Laura, Ben, and family said...

Ours is next week and I can hardly wait. It's our First PTC .... it'll be interesting.

Misfit Mommy (aka the Antichrist) said...

Look at the bright side, none have them have figured out what my youngest did last year. He discovered if he got in trouble, he would be put in ISS, where he could then do his work at his pace (read FASTER), then could sit & draw & play, while getting candy & having conversations with the "nice vice-principal"!

Anonymous said...

Be glad you don't have teenagers..yet.

-Cit-

Kristina said...

I hope your son doesn't get beat up for wearing velcro. That's majory uncool past kindergarten from what I'm told!

Just Plain Tired said...

Teachers get to see it all. Funny post!

cathy said...

That made me laugh so hard! Oh, the things we learn about our kids from other people!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

When I went to Parent-teacher conference, I learned a lot about myself. Like, apparently, I'm the only mom that doesn't dress myself like a Hollywood starlet. Glitter-butt jeans, full manicures and hot pumps? Really? Well, darn.

reen said...

At my son's second grade conference his teacher placed before us a paper he had written on the topic, "If I had a superpower" She sat and watched as my husband and I read together. Then laughed at our reaction when we reached the part where is said, "If I could be invisible, I could fly in people's windows to see them when they're naked." He's 28 now, and I still on occasion thank him for that.

kim said...

I haven't commented before on your blog but I love reading your stories. I read them to my husband and we crack up! I'm a teacher so this one really had me laughing.

Anonymous said...

When my 10 yr old was in 1st grade the teacher asked if we wanted to come in for "share" and help my son do a demonstration on how we celebrate Hanukkah......sure, but we aren't Jewish....

Wendy

9milemom said...

I have to go run to the bathroom after reading this one! Just about pee'd my pants! (and no, I haven't been in the past 10 minutes either! LOL)

Rags said...

I HATE conferences. However, this year the teacher said he thought it would be advantageous for the child to sit in on the meeting. YES!!!! Now when the teacher says, "Your kid can't his mouth shut AT ALL" I can look expectantly at my child and deflect any guilt. :)

Teen Queen said...

haha. my mom hates conferences. the teachers tell her everything she already knows.
little kids r so funny arent they? my sister used to b like that with bandades too.

bew said...

When I taught, we called them PFO Night... Parent's Find Out Night

So glad you had the pleasure.... Lucky for him, we have 2 more weeks until our little one is busted.

Frugal Baby said...

This post is too funny but true. We all have our vices ,so we should not be surprise when we hear our kids for the first time. Our child sometime like to laugh at the teacher for no reason and sometime the teacher takes it personally.

Teaching is one of the HARDEST jobs!Of course not as hard as Parenting.

The Double Dipped Life said...

Your posts are hilarious. Thank you for the laugh! I just found out that my son is using the bathroom as an excuse to get out of class too. I didn't think it was that funny... I need to start thinking like you!

AZ MOM said...

OMG you know my son :) He has an obsession with band aids too!!!

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