November 15, 2010

The Dentist

This afternoon, I took my kids to the dentist.

In Philadephia, my kids liked going to the dentist because the office had bubblegum flavored toothpaste and a prize box filled with fake tattoos.

My insurance company told me that the new dentist specialized in pediatrics, but when we showed up at the office, everyone in the waiting room was over the age of 60.

"We see patients ages five and up," the receptionist clarified.

"Where's the aquarium?" asked Kellen. He looked around for the requisite waiting room fish tank but all he found was a stack of brochures for gum disease.

After a 45 minute wait (which was brutal), all of my kids were brought back and placed in separate chairs in separate rooms. I volunteered to stick around and offer moral support to anyone who needed it, but everyone told me to get lost so I wandered back to the waiting room with Cameron and learned a lot about crowns and bridges. Cameron was super wiggly and started catapulting himself off my lap for fun. Fortunately, I had a lollipop leftover from Halloween in my purse.

A few minutes later, a hygienist poked her head into the room.

"Can I see you for a minute?" she asked.

Kellen was curled into a ball in his dentist chair. His head was in his hands and he was crying hysterically.

"What's the deal?" I asked.

"That lady is attacking my teeth!" he sobbed.

The hygienist explained that the enemy was not her, but plaque.

"Kellen really needs to do a better job of brushing his teeth," the woman lectured.

At that very moment, Cameron pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and stuck it in my face.

"He's trying to share it with me," I said proudly.

The woman looked at me with complete and utter disgust.

23 comments

Kathie1213 said...

AHAHA I never fail to have a laugh when I read your blog. You are a good mom and I hope you see the humor in all the chaos around you. Thanks for sharing. :)

Toshia said...

Thanks for the good laugh. I am a hygienist and I think it is so funny when I hear stories like this. I think other hygienists who act this way must not have kids or live in reality;) Dose them up on fluoride and live your life!
BTW insurance companies are rarely accurate in their referrals...

Donna said...

That's an awesome story! I love hearing about your escapades because they make me see the fun and joy in my same type of situations.

Anonymous said...

This is why I still make special visits out-of-state visits just to see my dentist.

Nicole said...

There is a special circle in h-e-double hockey sticks for judgmental dental hygienists. I do believe a few cavities help strengthen a youngsters character. No? Plaque-smaque.

becca said...

im thinking the insurance company thought you asked about 'geriatrics' not pediatrics...maybe?

lol. sorry to hear that one of your kids had a rough time. :) But if everyone did a better job with brushing, her job would be obsolete. :)

WallFry said...

Brilliant.

I have the dentist days all ahead of me, can't wait.

Lexi said...

I used to love going to the dentist as a kid cause I never had cavities while my siblings had a bunch. Now I hate it because my teeth are never good no matter how much I brush.
I think a good pediatric dentist/doctor/nurse/anything is gold, so if you find another good one, be sure to share where they exist!

Lindsey said...

Lol, when we took my step ston to the dentist a couple months ago I gave our 4 year old a lollypop and the front desk lady gave us the same look and said "Well, just don't let the doctor see" Ummmmm kiss my bootie! I'll give the kid a pop if he wants one!

vanilla said...

Great tale, as usual. My youngest boy at age 18 was told by his pediatric dentist to find another dentist. "I've already put up with you six years longer than I would any other patient."

Ruth Ann said...

As an adult I once went to a dentist who employed his sister as one of his hygienists. She did not like my teeth and scraped so hard at the tartar that I couldn't reply to the receptionist when I got to the checkout point. I had to stand there and wait for the waves of pain to subside. It hurt so bad. That hygienist wasn't there the next time I went.
"Thad lady is attacking my teeth!" Is exactly how I felt!!

Kristina said...

That's hilarious because I have a similar story. My son used to hate that spit-sucky thingy. "She's trying to suck the air out my lungs!" he screamed.

Moms At Wits End said...

LOL! I hope you've found a new dentist! Yout kids shouldn't have to put up with a mean mom and a mean dentist ;)

Christine said...

I love our dentist...but we have one hygentist that everyone loathes to get, if you get her it's a torture session and bloody gums every time.

Angela said...

This story is eerily familiar....

McKenzie said...

Thank you for the good laugh! That is too funny.

AlsoMean said...

My son has a book of "kid inventions" where the stick inside a lollipop is actually a toothbrush - ready when you need it most!

gotsomethingtothinkabout said...

Good read. The pointers arent too bad either. Keep it up.

Mindy said...

Totally awesome peds dentist in Lake Mary. Let me know if you want the name!

Lucy said...

Um... I had a similar experience - only I left the dentist in an ambulance with one of my four children, while the other 3 waited in the lobby for a friend to pick them up...

Charley Burright said...

Hahaha! I can't help but laugh with your post! You two are so incredible! Because of that, I'm now excited to see my periodontist on Monday. Hope it will be fun like yours!

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