November 16, 2010

Other People's Toilets


Other people's toilets are like cocaine for my kids: they crave them.

Before we even come close to stepping foot into any house that is for sale, we take all of our kids to the bathroom.

Prospective buyers used to use our toilets when we were selling our house in Philadelphia. I thought about duct taping the lids down, but my realtor told me that if I was serious about selling my house, that I should learn to live with certain things, even if those things made me want to vomit.

Despite this precaution, at least one of my children always has a bathroom emergency.

Today it was Kellen. He spent the entire time we were inside the house staring longingly at the powder room commode.

"Nope," my husband said, shaking his head. "You're going to have to hold it."

"We'll stop at a gas station on the way home," I told him.

My son looked at me like I was depriving him of one of life's basic necessities.

"Needs and wants are two different things," I explained.

"One time won't hurt," he begged.

My husband pointed out that that's the same thing that people say about drugs.

Shockingly, when we got to the gas station, my son's urge to urinate was gone.

19 comments

Sarah Q said...

the picture of that toilet terrifies me. It's on the same level as my fear of a snake coming up out of the toilet and biting me on the ass.

melissa said...

Seriously, don't show the kids that picture... it's pretty scary!

If I were you, I'd be really glad the draw doesn't apply to gas stations.... just sayin'

I'm just a girl said...

Freaky pic!

I fear toilet snakes. I always check the toilet before I sit. Is this rational?

jenj22 said...

Mine love to use gas stations toilets too. My husband often talks about traveling with our kids. All I hear is you will see every toilet across the US. We will NOT miss one.

margo said...

One day I am going to write a book..."All the Potties I've Known". It will be a best seller for sure!

Kristen said...

my kids have the same affliction! We just bought a house and one of them had to go to the bathroom at EVERY house. One house had the water tuned off - oops!! My realtor was mortified.

Jennifer said...

For my kids, it's grocery store bathrooms. Which isn't a problem at one store in town, which has nice clean bathrooms. At all the other stores, however ... *shudder*

Anonymous said...

You've got some weird kids. Just sayin'!

purejoy said...

oh my… i'd almost rather my kids lived life with their hands down their pants. i could handle the embarrassment. but the thrill of other's toilets… or public toilets?? aaaaaak. that is a shudder in ALL CAPS.
i remember taking my littles to the bathroom…
ohmystars… GETOFFTHEFLOOR!! no you don't need to see who's behind that door!! GAH! stop touching that… if that isn't awful enough… this was in the days before purell. oh.my.word.
yes. other's restrooms are the things horror movies are made of. i hear the psycho music now.

The Desert Girl said...

My husband likes to flush caught spiders down the toilet. I've heard spiders can live underwater for hours.

Just a public service announcement for those afraid of things coming UP the toilet!

Mrs. Werginz said...

Where did you get that picture of that toilet? I am laughing out loud in my office...it reminds me of the scary one in one of the Look Who9's Talking films when Mikey is being potty trained!! Glad he could hold it and then it disappeared! My parents and sisters say I was like that with bathrooms in a restaurant. I apparently always HAD to go!

Southern Queen of the Crazies said...

Scariest pic ever!

Jen said...

My little guy thoroughly enjoys pulling over on the side of the road...thanks Daddy for that!!

Jen
www.monogrammedeverything.com

Paula/adhocmom said...

My daughter can not enter a public bathroom without trying to flush the toilet. I'm thinking of carrying around latex gloves. .

Cat said...

One of these might do the trick. At least once? http://www.prankplace.com/product.aspx?d=Tricky-Fakes.Toilet-Monster&p=28041&c=50

cole said...

they are just marking there territory.

Beth said...

That's hilarious. I agree with you though... having strangers use your bathroom Yuck!!

NanaGo said...

I know you don't want to know this, but I experienced the Snake up the toilet myth first hand. AND it was in a major City (Portland). I need to write a blog about that. Thanks for the chuckle.

Natalie said...

A girl I know used the toilet at an apartment she was looking to rent...and dropped her cell phone in the toilet...and didn't realize she had dropped it in their toilet until she had to retrace her steps to find her phone. They delivered it to her in a ziploc bag.