November 17, 2010

My Daughter's Dinner

I routinely cooked entire meals for my family when I was five years old. At least that is what I tell my children.

I also remember walking to school uphill both ways in the snow. In Los Angeles.

"Everyone is going to learn how to cook," I announced on Monday.

My seven year-old daughter was very interested in the idea of making a meal for our family. However, she was not at all interested in me helping or supervising her in any way, shape, or form.

"Just give me the recipe book and leave me alone!" she screamed.

I called my husband and told him to expect something delicious.

After much deliberation, she decided to make stir-fry using a bag of shrimp and pack of frozen vegetables that she found in the freezer.

I poked my head around the corner. "If you need any help, let me know," I said.

"If you come in here again, I'm not going to feed you," she hissed.

Based upon the looks of the things in the frying pan, I wasn't sure that was such a bad thing.

Five minutes later, dinner was served.

"Everything is still frozen!" Cortlen whined, gnawing a broccoli ice cube. I kicked him under the table.

Unable to find any stir-fry sauce in the pantry, my daughter substituted it for the next best thing: ketchup.

"It looks yummy!" I gagged. Camber sat down at the table and watched us expectantly.

I told her that I wanted to savor the meal as long as possible. I had big hopes that I could defer the actual eating process indefinitely.

"I can't eat this!" Kellen yelled and shoved his plate away. I sent him to his room for being rude. He seemed happy to go.

"That's too bad for Kellen," my daughter said, "But good for you." She dumped the contents of my son's plate onto mine.

I giggled nervously.

"You know who really likes stir-fry?" I said. "Your dad." In an act of selfless generosity, I offered my dinner to my husband when he came home from work.

My husband was very grateful.

23 comments

jabs1960 said...

You and your hubby have nerves of steel!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Awesome! She can give me some cooking lessons.

Connie said...

Nothing better than dinner in 5 minutes!

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

Next time anyone in your family complains about waiting ten minutes for food you can offer to let your daughter cook dinner again. :)

Jennifer said...

When you walked uphill (both ways) to school in the snow, please tell me you had traction on your feet in the form of barbed wire. Otherwise, that's just cruel. ;)

Amelie said...

Please post the recipe! Maybe my three-year old gets some inspiration from it!
Love Amelie

Kirsty said...

LOL oh my goodness! I laughed so hard, and had to read this out to hubby too!

L. Bryce said...

aaah man. When I am having a bad day and I see that you have posted, things get a little better.

The Desert Girl said...

Ketchup, the meal Savior!!

vanilla said...

Oh, yeah! The seven-year old daughter prepares dinner. It's been nearly fifty years since I had that experience. Cherish it. And hope that she lets you help next time.

Donna said...

If I would have let Middle Child cook at 7, dinner would have turned out the same way!

Dana said...

LOL so funny!! I love your posts!!

I'm So Fancy said...

I am howling. I want her to come cook for my family! Awesome.

Mrs. Werginz said...

I know people are wondering what on Earth I am laughing about in my office!! Too funny!!

ana lisette said...

This reminds me of the story my grandma likes to tell of when my mom, at 4 years old, tried to make meatloaf. It involved something like 6 lbs. of ground beef, a dozen eggs (with shells of course) and half a loaf of bread. My grandma caught her barely in time, saved what she could, and they all ate meatloaf for the next 2 weeks...

Mrs. Tuna said...

Click your heels together and say, there's no place like Red Lobster, there's no place like Red Lobster.

Beth said...

I'm impressed that you were able to back off and let her go. Good job!!! I couldn't have done it.

Southern Queen of the Crazies said...

I am SO tired of the complaints from my five and three year old. I may just toss them a dog bone...

Jamie said...

The question begs...Did your daughter eat her creation?

Nicey Mommy said...

This is the craziest thing ever!

Nicki said...

I love it! Thanks for the laugh! I died when I read, "5 minutes later dinner was served!" Kudos to you for your determination to teach them to cook! I am determined that my daughter will know how to make a good pot of sauce for her hubbie! Every Italian should know how to do that if nothing else!

Vicky said...

Ahhhh, ketchup! The piece de resistance!

Wanted: A Pea for My Pod said...

Too funny. I don't think I'll be in a rush to have kids cook for me. LOL, didn't she realize it was still frozen? f