January 11, 2011

Egged



All of the cars on my street got egged on Saturday night. Except for mine.

The neighborhood representative of the Homeowner's Association sent out an email that included a list of property damage (none) and a stern warning to the perpetrator(s): "This is a very serious matter," the man wrote. "And we are actively investigating it. We suspect that the culprits are teenagers, probably from our neighborhood. If this turns out to be true, their parents will be held responsible."

"My kids were all sleeping in their beds when this happened," I told all my neighbors. "I swear."

Still, the curious fact remains that my car was the only one spared in the assault. I have dedicated a significant amount of today's waking hours attempting to solve this mystery. I even made a chart:

Cars Assaulted:
Expedition
Hummer
Lexus SUV
Mercedes


Car Not Assaulted:

I am stumped. When I showed my lists to my husband, he mumbled something about "adding insult to injury" and "not being worth the egg."

That is one possible theory. There must be others. There must.

23 comments

happyfamily said...

You keep the Ferrari parked INSIDE the garage, is that right?

Mamarazzi said...

hiliarious...and sad. LOL

Wade's World said...

LOL!!! Good luck finding the perps!

The Scrappy Cottage said...

They just ran out of eggs by the time they got to yours. Are Gods hands caught the eggs. You could go door to door and ask to borrow an egg and see who is out. Lol. Eggs are not cheap if I was there mom that would make me mad....

Kristi said...

Well you are new to the area. Perhaps something negative happened in the neighborhood BEFORE you got there. And someone is retaliating. Why throw eggs at the new neighbor who had nothing to do with the problem?

Anonymous said...

to avoid suspicion you shoud egg your own car!

Just Plain Tired said...

I'd be insulted myself it left out. ;)

Mrs. Tuna said...

I ran out of eggs before I got to your block.

Jaimie said...

ahahaha poor hubby.. this was cute. :)

Lin said...

You're hilarious! My husband said he & friends used to go around egging all of the new & expensive cars as a kid.

This reminds me of that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt & Edward Norton are going around smashing all the new cars' headlights because they figured they could afford to get them fixed but wouln't damage the older cars. I suppose your neighbors can be glad they still have headlights haha.

Melissa said...

Teenagers are not particularly rational human beings... I wouldn't look for motive, I'd just thank goodness that I don't have to pay for a car detailing.

Mal said...

We rarely locked our van doors growing up. Part of that was certainly because of where we lived, but even in the summer we didn't--and we lived in a very busy tourist town. I always figured it was because our van was so ugly no one would ever take it.

Nicole said...

Though maybe you ARE the target. egging everyone except you? Maybe you are being framed.

Anonymous said...

I love the suggestion that you should egg your own car. :) LOL

I also agree with whom ever suggested that perhaps there was a conflict prior to your arrival and as the newbies on the block, you wouldn't be are their radar.

Besides all of that, your kids aren't teenagers, they are still babies by my book and could not possible be suspected of such a 'big kid' crime.

It was probably a sleep over, a slumber party. If they find out which teen had a slumber party for their birthday this past weekend, they may just find their culprit.

Anonymous said...

Might it have also been the fact that perhaps someone was up using the restroom or could have been perhaps seen with in the home, making it 'not a good target' for that particular moment in the eggers passing?

Write to Simplicity said...

your blog cracks me up! Love this post!

Tarcoulis said...

They fear you.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! Loved this post!

Leila said...

lol, this was a pretty funny post! brightened my day!

i remember as a child, that we had this old and big van, no one would even bother to hit it or anything.

but yes i agree it could be a slumber party or sleepover... once i was invited to one, and left early because i was the ugly duckling, and later that night it was that same girl who came and TP'd my house. :( girls are sooo mean sometimes!

myevil3yearold said...

Well, you are the meanest mom

Stef said...

HAhaha. That reminds me of the time Hubs left the van running...all. night. long. And no-one took it. They just don't know a good thing when it is place on a platter before them! And it had 3 car seats to boot! Idiots!!

Southern Queen of the Crazies said...

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!

Charlie Pulsipher said...

When I was a kid we would toilet paper our own home to avoid suspicion...just not as well so clean up would be easy.

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