January 4, 2011

Flea World

My kids are never going back to school. At least that is how it feels. I'm doing my best to keep them busy, but by 2 o'clock every afternoon, they start becoming cannibalistic.

"We're going to a McDonald's Play Place?" they screamed in jubilation.

"Better," I promised.

Next to the fast food restaurant was an indoor flea market.

All of the people standing outside the flea market looked like they operate carnival rides for a living.

"I'm a little bit scared to go in there," Cortlen said, refusing to get out of the car.

Just then, a woman walked out of the building carrying a large gold Buddha statute and a rhinestone-encrusted belt buckle that spelled out the word "Hottie."

The sight of so many treasures in one place made my heart beat wildly. "Get out now," I hissed to my son.

Once you got over the smell (not so good) and the sight of so much cheap, knock-off Disney merchandise for sale, the place was pretty fabulous. I almost bought a pair of Prada sunglasses, which were a steal at $4 each. Cortlen bought a machete.

"No!"I screeched as he handed a wad of bills to a man wearing fatigues.

"It's my money," he protested. "I can buy whatever I want."

"No weapons," I insisted. "Or candy."

The man in the fatigues was sad to lose the sale.

"What are you going to do with a machete anyway?" I asked as we walked away.

"I don't know," he admitted. "It would just be cool to have."

Clearly, we have entered the gun and knife stage of male development. By the time my brothers were eight, they each had an impressive collection of hand held weaponry, which they bought off the streets of Tijuana, Mexico.

I am determined to break the cycle.

"I'll buy you a belt buckle," I offered instead. I pointed to a table covered with tantalizing choices.

"Except the one with the skull and crossbones," I clarified. "And the one that says 'Hottie.'"


Jennifer said...

I think it is instinctual. Having grown up in Texas- we were surrounded by guns- real and fake. Now that my kids are growing up in New Jersey which happens to have some strict weapon laws and it seems only the criminals have them here, I thought I had managed to avoid the need for weapons. I was wrong. Just today, we were in the store and I caught him looking at a weaponry magazine. I don't get it.

Cathryn said...

I have 6 kids--EACH has insisted on getting a knife when they turned 8. When it was time to take the girls they were the best wheeler-dealers and really made off with some great knives! An iridescent butterfly knife with serrated blade, an assisted- open with unicorn, and yes- a machete too!
Even now they each carry a knife with them -- who knows when you will need to cut a tag off of recently purchased merchandise or clean your fingernails.

Just Plain Tired said...

I think the buckle spelling out hottie would have been a great choice over machete myself. I would have thought the guy selling weapons would know better than to try and sell one to a kid though.

Rachel said...

haha this cracks me up. and my husband has a collection of swords/knives/ninja daggers from his early days, ha. boys.

Babydreams2011 said...

I go to Flea World as often as I can! That place is AWESOME!!! I always find some cool treasure (at least cool to me) there... If only they were open more than the weekend :(

Ruth Ann said...

One of my sons bought a knife fighting book online. He also bought a machete. He slept with a baseball bat or a hammer beside his bed for a long time. He must have had scary dreams at some point.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago, we were in the mall when some crazy ended up getting the store we were in locked down while she went postal. The boys were with me and she was screaming horrible cuss words. Finally, she stabbed someone. At Christmas. Right in front of my children. Scary. My son swore off weapons that day, but before that he was totally into them!

Anonymous said...

I am a bargain shopper and love consignment stores, but draw the line at flea markets... something about them makes my palms sweat.... you are one brave lady bringing your kids there! :)
We are avid campers and camp every summer in the mountains. Pocket knives are a part of an accessory in our family. Guns on the other hand... I have never fired one in my life, but my husband growing up on a ranch has hunted a few times and goes with his pals on occasion.. I still yet have to like the taste of deer meat. :P

Connie said...

Weapons and boys! Not sure why but they seem to go together! My 14 year old son bought a hand grenade belt buckle that caused quite a commotion at the airport security!

Mrs. Tuna said...

I just gave you The Stylish Blogger Award!
Someone gave to me and I thought of you, come on over and check out the details!

Kristin said...

That is awesome! While visiting my parents in Central Florida for the last several weeks, we hit numerous Flea Markets. My two little ones have never been so entertained and quiet as we strolled the tighly packed aisles! Myself, I was just excited to nab a knock-off Pandora bracelet and 13 beads for only 12 bucks!
Thanks for the blog, you brighten my day! :)

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