January 4, 2011
My kids are never going back to school. At least that is how it feels. I'm doing my best to keep them busy, but by 2 o'clock every afternoon, they start becoming cannibalistic.
"We're going to a McDonald's Play Place?" they screamed in jubilation.
"Better," I promised.
Next to the fast food restaurant was an indoor flea market.
All of the people standing outside the flea market looked like they operate carnival rides for a living.
"I'm a little bit scared to go in there," Cortlen said, refusing to get out of the car.
Just then, a woman walked out of the building carrying a large gold Buddha statute and a rhinestone-encrusted belt buckle that spelled out the word "Hottie."
The sight of so many treasures in one place made my heart beat wildly. "Get out now," I hissed to my son.
Once you got over the smell (not so good) and the sight of so much cheap, knock-off Disney merchandise for sale, the place was pretty fabulous. I almost bought a pair of Prada sunglasses, which were a steal at $4 each. Cortlen bought a machete.
"No!"I screeched as he handed a wad of bills to a man wearing fatigues.
"It's my money," he protested. "I can buy whatever I want."
"No weapons," I insisted. "Or candy."
The man in the fatigues was sad to lose the sale.
"What are you going to do with a machete anyway?" I asked as we walked away.
"I don't know," he admitted. "It would just be cool to have."
Clearly, we have entered the gun and knife stage of male development. By the time my brothers were eight, they each had an impressive collection of hand held weaponry, which they bought off the streets of Tijuana, Mexico.
I am determined to break the cycle.
"I'll buy you a belt buckle," I offered instead. I pointed to a table covered with tantalizing choices.
"Except the one with the skull and crossbones," I clarified. "And the one that says 'Hottie.'"