March 14, 2011

Terrible Twos


How can something so cute be so naughty?

Today, while I was at an appointment, Cameron gave my husband a run for his money.

Items sacrificed to the gods and/or partially consumed during my 2 hour absence:

* 1 tube of toothpaste
* 1 bottle of hand lotion
* 1 jar of pickles
* 1 box of baking soda

When I came home, I found my husband curled up in the fetal position on the sofa.

"He's EVERYWHERE!" he cried.

"Where is he right now?" I asked, suspiciously.

My husband pointed weakly to our daughter's bedroom. I found the culprit sitting next to his sister on the bed. She was reading a book. He was coloring on her bedspread with magic markers.

41 comments

Grammy T. said...

Magic Markers, OOOOOPPPPS!

Mom said...

That's about right! When they are quiet is the worst. I'm sure you are getting tired of me sharing my own stuff on your blog, but I had two little girls, a pair of scissors, well you can guess the rest of the story, but if you want to read it all, come to my blog at www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com and look for last Friday's post called Free Haircuts.
Sandy

Amy said...

a ha ha ha ha! I laugh because I've been through it 6 times! You'd think it would get better as we get more experienced as parents, but I actually think the opposite it true. I know it's inevitable that they will do something along these lines, so I just take a deep breath and keep lots of magic markers and baby wipes in the house!

Emily Heizer Photography said...

Cammie is awesome. SNORT. lol

I'm So Fancy said...

At least he knew where he was. I'm not joking. Nothing says "good parenting" like finding your husband playing on an Ipad while your 10 month old is 2 flights away playing with the glass bulbs on a Christmas tree at someone else's house. Awesome.

Kristi said...

Oh my....so its not just my husband. About a year ago I left my husband in charge while I took an hour long nap becuse I was not feeling well. There was $47 worth of damage with all the soaps, craft supplies, and food that they drug through the whole house. I cleaned for more than an hour....guess I shouldnt have taken a nap. It ended up being more work. Live and learn I guess.

Anonymous said...

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Sandy said...

Okay, THAT was a weird comment!

Cara said...

This sounds SO familiar! My son is 3.5 now and still does stuff like this. Chalk on the walls, dry erase marker on the couch, flour poured all over the entire downstairs in the time it took me to go to the potty by myself, climbing up to the top of his toy shelves and getting stuck, etc. So funny to look back on these events, but they were also completely exhausting and frustrating at the time! Hang in there!

Mal said...

Hahahahahahahahaha! To both the post and Mr. Boycott up there!

After dinner one night I went into the bathroom and found my toilet brimming with toilet paper. My 18-month old apparently (BEFORE DINNER) had occupied herself by taking fistfulls of the snotty-tissue-filled trash (we've been fighting colds) and thrown them into the toilet. Thank heavens she didn't try flushing it! We now scrub her down before every mea, no questions askedl.

Mal said...

**Meal, not mea.

Anonymous said...

Cameron and my Weber, separated at birth, I tell you. Dry erase marker hasn't come out of his older sister's sheets yet, half a year later....

Tasha said...

My kids were angels at two so I smugly thought the terrible twos had bypassed our house. Then they turned three! I can't even tell you how many days I called my husband crying begging him to come home! It's incredible the amount of chaos those little ones can cause in such a short amount of time!

TORI said...

I love Cameron - he's AWESOME! Although I would prefer he not teach my two year old son about the toothpaste, that is so difficult to clean, it's like it just keeps expanding.

I did come out of the bathroom one day and he and his sister were COVERED from fingers to elbows with markers and my DD had the foresight to color her face as well... that was fun. Of course it was blue and black and green markers so they looked like they got beat up, even more fun.

Courtney said...

Best post of my morning!

--Courtney
ThoseGraces

Anonymous said...

My 30 yr old, when she was 2, put a bleach on it's side to stand on it to get higher to reach goodies. The biggest problem: it was on a carpet, in a new house, right in a dining room/kitchen in the front living area of the house. Our brown carpet had about a 12"x 15" pinkiesh glowing oval that we never replaced.

Lyndsay Winters said...

I feel much better now. I thought I gave birth to the spawn of Satan, but maybe he is a normal 2 year old boy.

Aubrey said...

Hopefully the marker will come out. At least it wasn't a sharpie.
I'm always secretly glad when my husband has experiences like that. Then he starts to understand a little better why I need to hide in our room buried in a book while he gets them ready for bed some nights.

Lin said...

Bwahaha...that's hilarious!

Not the part where you have to clean it all up but that your husband freaked out. lol

Anonymous said...

I'm S0 Fancy, I can t0tally relate t0 that!!! This bl0g is awes0me! The c0mments are great t00. What in the w0rld is up with the b0yc0tt dude? L0L

eliana23 said...

Mine smallest is a couple months different from yours. We have this conversation about cute v evil almost every day. It is exhausting.

Me said...

Just the way The Gremlin is. Thank goodness it isn't only my cild with an evil streak lol.

Kristin said...

BWHAHAHA! This week I left my 2 year old little girl in the care of my husband for 15 minutes while I was outside working on a project. I came inside to find that said little girl had found a sharpie and practiced drawing her lines and circles from one end of my kitchen floor to the other. I thought it ended there until I found her coloring her new little kitchen, her collection of "my little ponies" and most of her body. My husband...asleep on the couch. Luckily the 9 month old was left unscathed.
Thanks for your blog, you're my hero! :)

An Irish Italian Blessing said...

Oh MY GOODNESS!! I would curl up and give up also : ) I have to share this somewhere and here seems like a good spot: I was at Costco and a woman was checking out, her husband walks up with the cart and toddler, hands him over and says to wife "He's not behaving" and the Dad proceeded to walk off. My jaw hit the floor because I was shocked he couldn't handle the toddler but then I laughed becuase of course....a MOM can do it better : )

Jen said...

I feel the pain:
http://ashiralynn.livejournal.com/36322.html

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I will survive the terrible twos...this weekend my 2 year old got 7 stitches, wedged her head into the banister railing, got her leg stuck in the side of a crib, bloodied her lip, bloodied her brother's cheek, and had eleventy-hundred tantrums. I will be sure to hid the magic markers so she doesn't go down that path, too!

Beth said...

as I sit here listening to the screaming coming from my children's room as they protest nap time, this blog makes me smile knowing sometimes, it could be worse. I feel for your husband. I too will shortly be in the fetal position....

Kira said...

When my four year old was two he found some dry erase markers I had and drew an amazing mural in the shower. Unfortunately adding water to dry erase marker somehow makes it impossible to wipe off. I just keep renewing the lease in this nightmare of an apartment because I will have to pay so much to replace the tile, and carpet, and whatever else gets ruined between now and then.

Anonymous said...

Haha....man where is that kid cage when you need it?

Anonymous said...

I think that a horror film could be made from 2 through 4 year olds they seem to come from nowhere and their sign of evil is never far behind.

Dangerous With a Pen said...

ROFL.... to both Cameron and the crazy guy American woman hatah. Looks like that guy never left his Terrible Twos.

In our house, twos were eh... Threes were terrifying!

(bahahaha... word ver. is "bless")

Janet said...

If only you had enough space for me to share my almost 3yr old's "adventures"!! You can only relax when he's unconscious!!

Each one has been "busier" than the one before!! WAY BUSIER!!!! It's awful(and very unsanitary) what has been eaten, swallowed, flushed,eaten again, thrown.......

Renny said...

Ahahahahahahahahahaha.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Deila said...

I love your blog, you are so witty. Well, your kids Too. Sacrificed to the Gods--I love that.

The Ericksens said...

I am having the exact same experience with my toddler! our posts are eerily similar... I wonder if they have a secret society where they meet and discuss ways to drive their poor mothers crazy!

http://mikeandbrittanyericksen.blogspot.com/2011/02/war-on-household-items.html

Aubrey said...

This made me laugh so hard, sounds just like my husband and our kids. It's even worse now with a two year old and a one year old - it's like they collaborate.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Awww Man alive what a cutey! but Man alive! what devastation! you gotta love 'em

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to know, is he laughing or crying in that picture with the toothpaste art?

Also, at least he did the damage in your house and not someone elses.

Seth and Natalie said...

Ha! I have one of those! You can look at my blog and read all about the "wonderful" things my little guy has been up to lately.

kodie said...

ok, thank God it's not just my precious angel. last week, while I was at a 4 hour shift at work, my almost 2 year old found a blue ink pen and decided to give herself some major body art. like all over. and i guess she figured while she was at it, she needed to give my white down comforter some visual interest as well. it had to be the one day i was washing my (dark brown) duvet cover. seriously.

netminnow said...

Laughed till I cried. Better than ever blog. Oh and Mr Anonymous' site doesn't permit comments. Dud(e), thanks for the warning and go ahead, make my (our) day, ignore us!