May 16, 2011
The Medieval Conference
I just got back from a medieval literature conference. Instead of telling you how it went, I'll just stick with the facts:
* The conference was held in a college dorm in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
* There were 2,000 college professors in attendance. And a handful of nuns.
* On Saturday night, there was a dance.
* I slept in a college dorm room. On an army cot.
* I forgot to pack deodorant.
* I went out to dinner with some fancy professors and was offered what appeared to be canned cat food. I learned later that it was cat food. Fancy professors call it fois gras.
* No one wanted to see the pictures that I took of the nuns.
* Most of the people in attendance also forgot to pack deodorant.
* None of the buildings were air-conditioned.
* Most people seemed genuinely disappointed that I only had four children. They had heard that I had eight.
* My flight to Michigan was delayed 3 hours. We sat on the runway for an additional three hours on my flight home.
* Like everyone on my return flight, the mom and little boy sitting next to me were headed to Disney World. While we were waiting for our plane to take off, the mom showed me how she had grouped and color-coded all of the rides on each of the theme park maps.
* Instead of sitting together on the plane, the above family split up so that their two children could each have a window seat. The dad and son #2 sat eight rows in back of us, but spent most of the flight standing in the aisle next to my seat.
* After listening to the mom and son #1 sing "It's A Small World" (in rounds) for fifteen minutes, I told them that the ride is closed for renovations. This isn't true, but at the time I really wished it was.
I'm glad to be home.