June 27, 2011
Ode to Women Who Wear Tennis Skirts Around Town
You know how much I love uniforms and feel deprived because I have never had a legitimate reason to ever wear one.
You can also imagine how excited I was to learn that there is an unofficial uniform for women in Orlando. It is called the tennis skirt.
Everywhere you go you will find women wearing them, including (but not limited to) the grocery store, the post office, the pediatrician's office, the school carpool line, and the public library. The best place to see large numbers of tennis skirts is at Panera at noon.
If you ask a woman in a tennis skirt if she is on her way to/from playing tennis, chances are she will look at you funny. I have learned that this is because a significant number of the women who wear tennis skirts around town do not actually have any plans to play tennis that day. Rather, they wear their tennis skirts at odd times and at odd places (ie. 10:30pm in Target) so that they can show off their legs and pretend to be cheerleaders.
Women who wear tennis skirts 24/7 will vehemently deny this accusation, but when pressed will agree that wearing a tennis skirt is a socially acceptable way for a woman over the age of thirty-five to wear a mini-skirt.
I do not play tennis and have no desire to learn how to play. Since moving to Florida, however, I have been seized with the desire to buy a tennis skirt and wear it to my sons' soccer tournaments, church, Vacation Bible School, swim lessons, Home Depot.
The possibilities are endless.