July 22, 2011

An Open Letter to Groupon

Dear Groupon,

I still have feelings for you, but we need to talk.

When we got together a few months ago, I agreed to let you email me every day, and you promised to send me coupons for things that I actually want to buy. Once every blue moon, you'll throw me a bone in the form of a half-off coupon to a Cold Stone Creamery that is 45 miles from my house. But most of the time, you send me offers for neck tightening and electrolysis.

Are you trying to tell me something?

Clevens Center for Facial Cosmetic Surgery – Multiple Locations

$149 for Cosmetic Skin Treatment (Up to $995 Value)


  • Clevens-center-for-facial-cosmetic-surgery2_grid_6

Electrolysis and Hair Laser Removal by Michelle – Aventura

Laser Hair-Removal Treatments at Electrolysis and Hair Laser Removal by Michelle in Aventura. Choose from Two Pricing Options.


  • Sabrinas-electrolysis2_grid_6

Aesthetic Plastic Surgery Associates

Microdermabrasion or Laser Neck-Tightening Treatments

  • Aesthetic-plastic-surgery-associates_grid_6


I know that I probably need to have my teeth whitened/breasts enlarged/nose reduced/lips plumped/face lasered/back massaged, but what I really want are 50% off coupons to Lasik eye centers, hair salons, and boudoir photography studios.

Oh wait! You send me lots of offers for these places too.

Groupon, I'm going to keep you around for the time being, but fair warning.

I might be breaking up with you soon.

***
I hope you all have a good weekend. For those of you who haven't noticed the link on my sidebar: I have joined the 21st century! Please "friend" me on Facebook if/when you get a chance.

24 comments

Sandra Kozlowski said...

I SO agree!!! I subscribed to Groupon and any coupon that sounded interesting would end up being miles and miles away.

FamilySpice said...

LOL! Me, too! That's hilarious!

Kari said...

ugh I SO AGREE! I'm tired of Keratin Hair Treatments and Massage Deals for places that are far far away from me.

Niki said...

And another one bites the dust! FB traitor...

beth said...

I sooo don't usually comment on the blogs that I secretly stalk... but I WORK in a salon and I did NOT check any of the boxes that said I was interested in SPA like events. I am pretty sure I do not need a 40%off coupon for an eyebrow wax.

Tammy said...

I look forward to reading your blog posts. I don't feel so bad when I hear my kids call me the "meanest mom ever" when I don't give them everything they want.

Mal said...

Uh, amen.

Mom of 12 said...

Do you think if enough of us complain that Groupon might get a clue? I have NEVER used even one of their coupons and yet everyday they send me more spam.
Sandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com

Allison said...

Yes! So far the ONLY useful coupon Groupon has sent me was for movie tickets the day after I bought overpriced tickets for the Harry Potter midnight movie. I was so bitter that I deleted it before I realized that I would probably go to the movies at some other point in my life and could actually have used that one. I keep waiting for something else useful to come up, but so far, I'm in the same laser treatment/plastic surgery hell as you.

Deanna said...

I totally agree with you! I am about to breakup with them as well!

Janine said...

Ba ha! I'm having the same problem, what's with that? Silly Groupon. I don't need a bad girlfriend in my life.

HD said...

At first Groupon was really great to us. They lured us in all right. Now, we get the same thing-teeth whitening, gymnastics classes, and my favorite so far "$1199 for six Zerona Treatments (a $2500 value). Really? I did notice that a whopping 9 people bought that.

LMP said...

Between the similar Groupon deals that I get each day and the never ending e-mails to help me get a free power chair I was starting to wonder if the powers that be knew something I don't.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Uh oh....I just signed up for yoga classes. Am I about to be taken over?

Pam said...

Amen!

Karen said...

Going to find you on FB...if your facebook status updates are anywhere near as funny as your blog, I can't wait to have you as a friend! No pressure there. LOL. Karen in NC

taradon said...

Exactly my feelings toward Groupon!

kario said...

You have definitely hit a nerve here! In the beginning, I got coupons for artisinal chocolates and yoga classes and even stand-up paddleboarding lessons. Now, all I get are botox, laser treatments and dermabrasion offers. I guess we know which companies are suffering the most...

Mommy McD said...

Seriously. You hit the nail on the head! I'm starting to get a complex. "What does Groupon know about me that I don't know?"

Melissa Stuart said...

I work for a daily deal site that is hyper local, meaning we only send you deals for places close to you. We look FORWARD to getting deals for our customers that they WANT... I would love to know what coupons you look forward to getting. Thanks!
www.juiceinthecity.com

Sarah said...

Oh, I so wish you were located in one of our Juice markets! As a mom, blogger, and founder of Juice, I read your post and loved it, because this very issue of non-relevant deals is what we started Juice in the City to address. Even though we're not in Orlando yet, I wanted to let you know about us. All of our deals are experienced and sourced by local moms at local businesses, and targeted to moms within 10 miles of the deal location.

We also just announced a $3Million fund (called the Groupmom Fund because we are so different from Groupon) to feed money back into local economies. I'd love to talk to you further if you are willing! Sarah@Juiceinthecity.com

Anonymous said...

Everyone should check out www.juiceinthecity.com. Local deals... it's wonderful!

A Musing Mother said...

Ummmm. Can I have your coupons?

Tara said...

LOL- I am lucky because I live in a small city so things are not to far away, but they are often for things I do not care about like today's... Bronze Ambition Custom Airbrush Tanning... I wish they would let you sign up for just the types of things you want to get e-mails for. A girl can dream.