July 25, 2011

Why the Pioneers Didn't Come to Florida

It has become clear to me why most of the pioneers in the 1800s headed west instead of south.

The first reason has to do with an overabundance of aggressive black snakes in Florida.

The second has to do with the average daily temperature in the state during the month of July.

A few days ago, a thunderstorm went through our subdivision. The storm must have done something, because half of our neighbors' air conditioning systems went out at once.

Needless to say, there was much wailing in the land.

Last night, my family slept in one room, on the ground, with three box fans blowing in our faces. And we still practically sweat to death.

We don't have an air conditioning repairman, so I did what any other desperate person would do in a similar circumstance: I walked down the street and talked to the workers.

All of the air conditioning repairmen that I met were very friendly. They were so friendly in fact that it was hard to decide who was the most deserving of my life savings.

I ended up choosing the repairman with the most number of children. The winner had eight and had just impregnated his wife for the ninth time. Eddie and I became good friends in the hour that we spent together. He showed me a piece of metal the size of his thumb and told him that it could be mine for only $500.

There was some confusion about what happened next. I thought I told Eddie that I was going inside to call my husband to discuss our options. He thought I gave him the go ahead to install the part.

By the time I came back outside, the part was installed and Eddie was packing up.

"If you want, I can just take the part back out," Eddie told me when I expressed some annoyance about the situation.

I came close to having him do it. But then I remembered how much fun it was to camp inside my own house.

Maybe next time I'll pick the repairman with the least number of kids.

17 comments

Marydon said...

Chuckle! Cute share, Jana. We've all been there & had a 'done it' moment like this I am sure.
Have a great week ~
TTFN ~
Marydon

Anonymous said...

Yeaaah... next time go with a repairman that doesn't already know what's wrong (thunderstorm? already diagnosed half the neighborhood? likely a fuse.) and who doesn't know you're desperate.

Jennifer said...

I hear ya on the heat-I live in southern Manitoba and it is a sweaty mess out here!! Without AC, I don't know what I would do! I think you made the right call.

Mom of 12 said...

I live in Utah and it's been pretty darn hot this week! My neighbor is without AC and they spend a lot of time chillin' on their front porch. I don't think he charged you extra for that little part. We cringe every time we see a ppp (price per person) charge. He was simply dividing out the amount by the number of people in the household. At his house that would have been a real bargain!
Sandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com

Cindy said...

I cannot imagine. We were without AC upstairs one night last summer, and I seriously thought I would die!!

Cuddles, Kisses & Tantrums said...

During the 5 years that we lived in Orlando, everyday in the summer I held my breath that the thunderstorm wouldn't do damage to our home. It blew out our water heater 3 times, our air conditioning once, and our new stove once. Super pain in the butt! However, I miss living there now that I am stuck in Idaho! :)

Melanie said...

Well...they knew nothing about air conditioning back then and they even wore super long dresses with TONS of layers. Man...are we ever woosies. I would hate to live without my A/C that if for sure. Glad yours got fixed. :)

Meggan said...

ya, the guy with the less mouths to feed would be the way to go:) I'm glad Alaska doesn't have the AC problem, or the snakes, or the gators:) We'll see how long it takes before I start quoting "the shining" this winter though!!! O.o

Krafty Max Originals said...

We are up in Jacksonville and I just can't think what we would do without the AC. We are the luckiest people on the block, though, our neighbor is a AC repair man!! Best of luck with the weather!! ~KM

grammaDawn said...

You are all speaking a language I don't understand. I live in Western Washington. So far, this summer, we've only had a handful of days that's made it to the mid
70s. Haven't even pulled out the fans we keep in the attic.

Jenny in NC said...

I got a letter from my power company showing how much power my family uses (a lot, but I do run a daycare in my house...) and how I could save $25 per month by setting my thermostat at 78 degrees (instead of my current 73). You have got to be kidding, power company! No amount of money is worth 78 degrees!

Casey said...

I grew up in Central Florida, my husband in Minnesota. We now live in South Carolina with our 3 kids. We had a streak of 100 degree days a week or so back and heat indexes of 120 and one day hit 125 and every night I said a prayer that our AC would keep up with the 70 or lower my hubby keeps it set at. I'm with Jenny from NC, if it hits 78 in here someone starts complaining. It took me a full year to acclimate to that but once I did, I'm never going back to the heat. We don't save a penny on our bill in the summer but in the winter here we rarely have to have our heater on which pays off I guess.

Shanna said...

I'm there with you! We've been traveling most of the summer and I just couldn't wait to gt home. So Saturday we bein our trip home to South Florida from Conneticut yes New England! after a sleeping pit stop in Virginia at my hubs parents )where the aircon was broken) we continues home to find out that our electricity had been turned off! My husband forgot to pay the electric and because we were traveling no one had been around to pay the guy when he came to turn it off!Have I mentioned I'm pregnant. I discovered that if I laid in bed with a soaking wet towel covering me it would keep me cool enough to sleep. seriously it worked also cold shower with something super mint rubbed all over, followed by cold towel all over and on head, we didn't even have a fan!!!! thank god the elctricity is back on now.

Nancy said...

I remember those storms. When we lived in Florida, the year the hurricaines all came through including Katrina, lightening struck our house. Not fun. I will suggest that you invest in a generator.

Aubrey said...

Well, I guess he's got to support all those kids somehow...

I think it's the humidity that kept those pioneers away. Cuz they settled this desert valley (Phoenix) way before A/C was around.

It's hotter than hades here, but at least we don't have the suffocating humidity that the south has!

Barron's Mom said...

I'm in Dallas & we've hit over 100 degrees for 27 comsecutive days now. I think today it will only be 105 with a heat index of 108. Not too too bad. Could be worse.

Steph said...

I've been away from the blogging world for a bit due to the summer crazies and I was excited to get back on and catch up on your blog. You never disappoint. Seriously. Thanks for the much-needed and always reliable laugh. :)