November 1, 2011

The Abomination that is Halloween Candy


My kids spent the better part of last night rolling around (literally) in their Halloween candy. They did this, of course, after first counting it, sorting it, sniffing it, offering to trade it and then changing one's mind at the last minute, and recounting it.

My husband and I tried to teach moderation a few years ago, but have long since given up on that ideal. Now I encourage my kids to consume their Halloween candy as quickly as possible.

The sooner it's out of my house, the less likely that I'll find it ground into the carpet in the dark recesses of my kids' closets.

"Who wants Skittles in their cereal?" I asked this morning.

Three hands shot into the air.

"Do you want to eat candy for dinner?" I asked this afternoon.

My kids pulled their heads out of their Halloween buckets long enough to ask me if I was joking.

"Absolutely not," I told them. "Go for it."

When my husband came home from work, my kids had chocolate dripping from their mouths.

"I'm a little grossed out," he said, as he watched them move like machines through the contents of their orange plastic pumpkins.

At eight o'clock, one of my sons announced the impossible. "I'm a little sick of candy," he said.

I beamed in satisfaction.

"Can I have some ice cream or something?" he continued.

Talk about gross.

33 comments

happyfamily said...

As a kid, our halloween candy hung around forever. I got so tired of anything that wasn't chocolate that I would go into the living room and announce, "Throwing candy!!!" My three younger brothers would come running to gather the candy that I threw over my shoulder a la a bridal bouquet. They ate everything!

Lisa, An American Mom said...

Having just helped myself to my son's Halloween loot, yeah, I kind of agree - gross! Kids' capacity for sugar is amazing. :)

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

I want to give all the candy away. I eat so much of it daily!

Katie said...

We took our candy to a buy back place today, they paid $1 per pound and my 3 year old alone got $9. I am so glad its gone, for both our sakes ;)

Mom of 12 said...

I would be much happier if I had just a shred of willpower and could stay away from the pile myself. The kids never seem to get tired of it.
Sandy

Shay said...

I have the same attitude. Eden can eat all the candy she wants! The more the better, just get it out of my house! Mainly because I can't stop eating it either...pretty sure I've gained ten pounds since last night.

Mom On The Edge said...

I know. It's incredible the power Halloween candy holds! Now I know why my mom put ours on top of the fridge. Strange, my brother and I became VERY good climbers...

Nicole said...

I paid my kids each a dollar to just let me throw it in the garbage. They'd each had enough the 2 days before that they were very okay with that deal:-)

Bradley, DeAnna, Donovan, and Chamae said...

I'm a candy nazi...but I only have one that's old enough to eat candy. I'm sure when we add more to the mix, it will be more difficult to control it!

Catherine Dabels said...

When I picked my son up from school yesterday he asked if we could hit the 7-11 because he really wanted some Starburst. I told him he had 7 pounds of candy sitting at home. He said he didn't get any Starburst.

Honestly.......

Susan said...

I LOVE candy but even I get tired of it. My sister-in-law's house gets raided by "the Candy Man," who comes the night after Halloween and exchanges the candy for art supplies! My kids are 3 and 1 so they haven't noticed that their candy somehow disappeared, although I have let them have a few pieces. (We did a few pre-Halloween events, so we gave a lot of their candy away to the trick-or-treaters who came to our door on Halloween!)

Anonymous said...

I read your blog every day. I helps me keep my sanity. Thanks

Kristina said...

My kids never get sick of sweets either. A friend of mine says she lets her son eat as much as he wants out of his Halloween basket the day of, and then he never touches it again because he's sick of it. I tried that and it totally backfired. They ate until they were in sugar comas and then wanted to do it again the next day.

Janet's page said...

I adopted your halloween idea's since reading last years post and quite honestly I don't know how they do it! I have been close to vomiting myself just watching how much they are consuming!!
They have been going strong since Sunday night and it's almost gone!

Ruby said...

I always let my kids eat all the candy they wanted on their first trick or treat outing. The two eldest puked their first year, but learned their lessons and have never again crossed that line. Youngest apparently doesn't have a line to cross, as she has never gotten sick from eating too much candy. Keep the stories about your kids coming. They make me laugh.

Cindy said...

My 16 year old is still like this...it really grosses me out!

Gina said...

I let mine go crazy for the first couple days, too. They usually give up after that and it's kind of like, "Oh... yeah... candy... meh."

Emmy said...

Lol! Well it almost worked.

WhisperingWriter said...

Yup, I let my kids have free reign over their candy and they get bored of it pretty fast. In fact, right now my son asked for an apple instead of picking out a treat from his bucket.

Renee said...

hahaha!! That is a fabulous idea! Love it!

Dinga said...

I don't know you, you don't know me, but I love you. I feel so much better knowing that at least a few other mothers feel as "motherly" as I do. Thanks for sharing your stories. Love your blog.

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Mal said...

My mum's rule was whatever is left over on All Saints' Day gets put in a community bowl on the kitchen table and anyone can have it. We ate and ate Halloween to get as much of our own candy gone as we could, then anything after that could be eaten by--GULP--our siblings!!

LauraP said...

I love your logic - let them eat it now, so that it isn't hanging around until Easter!

Molly @thewaffler said...

My kids' school has a parent dress up as the "candy witch" for the days following Halloween. Families donate their extra loot and it's given to local blood banks. I just gave away our stash today -- in part because I was eating so much of it!!

AlsoMean said...

he he I told my son to eat it all - he went to the orthodontist today to start his treatment

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Lindsay said...

Hahaha!! I am SOOOOO tempted to try this tomorrow! Only my motivation for wanted to get rid of the stuff is so that I will no longer need will power. I have. no. willpower.

Anonymous said...

As a kid me and my brothers would have candy up until the next halloween. Ergh. Mom baked ALOT and when me...or my brothers came home from school she would MAKE us lick all the bowls/spoons. So Halloween was always 'how much can you get?' but when it came to actually eating it...we gave it to our dad. What HE didn't eat and gave back to us it just sat there. Mom really put ALL of us off any sugary things and candy from a young age. Watching my kids now...yuck! One locks his candy in a safe and the other eats the garbage like he'll die if he doesn't. The latter ate the remainder of his candy tonight...then found a half can of cake frosting in the fridge and ate that too...then tried to bribe the safe stasher to give him more.


BLARGH


-Cit-

Renny said...

You should watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs&feature=youtu.be

Just an idea for next year...

Rocket Ma'am said...

I have that attitude, too. Lately they've been having a piece every hour, on the hour. It's entirely selfish because I don't want to spend 4 months doling it out or raiding their stash myself.

Another Piece Of Chocolate said...

Going against the grain - my peeve this Halloween is parents who complain about all the candy! If you don't want too much then don't go to all the trunks/houses. Stop when they've/you've had enough. There are lots of other activities and adventures available on Halloween to be entertained. That said, I love your blog and your honest and funny thoughts on life!

Maren said...

You need to introduce "ICE CREAM DAY" to your children. As a mom we are constantly telling our children"NO!" it gets old always being the bad guy. On one of the last days of summer (or any other time you feel the need) on a day that you are home alone with the kids you declare that it is "icecream day". They can have all of the icecream they want! Rules are:
1. They have to ask
2. You have to say "YES"
It is one of the funniest most liberating days. Try it, I'm sure you will love it.