Showing posts with label Philadelphia real estate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philadelphia real estate. Show all posts

June 9, 2010

Home Showings

Yesterday afternoon, my realtor Candy called to tell me that another realtor wanted to show my house that evening at 8:30pm.

“That’s kind of late,” I replied with a sigh. “But we’ll do what we’ve got to do.”

Keeping one’s house in constant “showing” condition is a joy akin to being pecked to death by a flock of chickens.

After driving aimlessly around our town for thirty minutes, we returned home to find the realtor’s car still parked in our driveway. Our kids—who normally go to bed at 7:30pm—were foaming at the mouth.

“We have to get them to bed,” I told my husband moments after telling Twins A & B to keep all appendages to themselves for the eighteenth time in two minutes.

Thus began the impatient wait. At nine o’clock, we circled around our street again….the realtor’s car was still there.

“What are they doing in there?” Tim wondered out loud. “Taking a nap?”

I decided to take a peek.

Tim parked the car on the street behind our house and stayed with the kids while I walked through two neighbors’ yards to the edge of ours. Hiding in the bushes under the cover of darkness, I was able to catch a clear view through the rear sliding glass door of two strangers crawling on their hands and knees across my kitchen floor.

The spectacle confirmed what I long suspected: my house is a magnet for crazies.

“Why is this happening to me?” I asked myself.

Before I could answer, I caught a glimpse of a furry blob race across the room and pounce on one of the strangers.

The potential home buyers were playing with my cat. Their realtor stood by the door and watched.

Over the next ten minutes, the strangers tested every cat toy in our house. They also opened every cupboard door, thumbed through several cookbooks, and flipped through my wall calendar.

Finally, at 10pm, an hour and a half after entering my house, the strangers and their realtor finally left.

“They better buy the house,” my husband growled.

“They better give us more than our asking price,” I replied. Our kids were out of their minds by the time we got them into their beds.

Candy called me this morning with the other realtor’s feedback.

The strangers didn’t like the house. It was too small for their needs...and in the wrong school district.

May 31, 2010

House Pictures


Last week, my realtor Candy sent over a professional photographer to take pictures of my house for the Internet.

"I use a wide-angle lens to make the rooms look enormous," the man told me proudly as he set up his tripod in my kitchen.

I immediately began to wonder what I would look like if I was the size of a Brontosaurus.

"Do you take family photos?" I asked.

Sadly, the photographer takes pictures only of houses...and the occasional swimming pool and office building.

"My photographs aim to highlight the most flattering and desirable aspects of the home seller's property," the man bragged as he snapped away.

I followed the photographer around my house and yard, taking careful notes.

I don't have the proofs back yet, but here are some shots that I hope make the cut:

The Virgin Mary and friends
Location: my next door neighbor's front yard

Close-up of Christ's outstretched hands, filled with living waters


Decorative garden planter made out of plastic leg cast
Location: my next door neighbor's back yard

Rear Neighbors' underwear
Neighbor's estimated bra size: 34 B

I will be surprised if we get anything less than top dollar for our house.