January 20, 2009

A Haiku for the Stomach Flu

Day 1

The sound of upchuck
In the middle of the night
Makes my heart rejoice

Here is a bucket
I know that you don't feel good
Please try to make it

Day 2
I am out of Sprite
All I have is apple juice
Take it or leave it

Your hands are not sick
I do not want your tissue
Go throw it away

Day 3
I'm sorry you're bored
Please do not touch anything
Especially my food

Get back in your bed
Sick people do not eat cake
You can have oatmeal

Day 4
I will take the chance
That you are not contagious
And send you to school

Have a visitor at your house? Stomach flu? Double ear infections? Chronic chest cold? Rotavirus? Hypochondria?

All worthy of a haiku in the comments I think.

Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables


Anonymous said...

This is how last week started...

Mom, I don't feel good
From the front seat I look back
Car now full of barf

Jen said...

We have had it too.
And with only one bathroom
It was a challenge.

The Woman Formerly Known as Jenn said...

My visitors are
My in-laws for seven days
Flu not look so bad

Anonymous said...

You have a fever!
My leg and my finger hurt...
Are you sure that's all?

At 3:30 this morning! :)

Robbie said...

Ha, so much for plans over the weekend!

Stomach flu here too.
We should own stock in Lysol.
Quick grab the bucket.

No fever today.
I feel a break coming soon.
To school you must go!

Cindy said...

Mom my tummy hurts
I puked all over my bed
Can I go play now?

Emily said...

Influenza beast
get out of my house you jerk
you're making me mad.

Annette Lyon said...

She's sick all weekend.
I hope to get stuff done now.
No luck. Home again.

koreen (aka: winn) said...

Mommy, I feel sick
But don't want to sleep alone
Let me share my germs

Sherry said...

Your wit is divine
I wish I could be like you
One day, with practice

Crystal said...

So glad you gave the directions on a haiku because I have would have had no idea haha.

Erica said...

No poo in three days
I don't know what more to do
Constipated girl

Prune juice for dinner
Upset tummy makes you scream
I can't put you down

Crystal said...

Too tired to clean puke.
Cover it with a towel.
Save it for later.

Stacie said...

Son needs two stitches
Mom is alone with all kids
Where's Dad? Playing golf!

Anonymous said...

Thirteen-month-old twins
Equals stomach flu times two
Vomit. Bathe. Repeat.

Stephanie said...

"Can I have ice cream?"
"No it's not good for pukers."
Praise Pedialyte.

Sticky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sticky said...

(previous post was off a little)

So tired. I wonder
why your germs you pass to me,
leaving you to play...

Anonymous said...

It must have been the
peanut butter sandwich from
last night, she said, ralph.

1 o'clock, 2,5
6 am it comes
spewing in the john

it smelled like candy
it looked like pink barf
the toilet did flush

Anonymous said...

The snot that I've wiped
From all of my girls' noses
A river is less

"Look Mommy", I hear
Gross, what's hanging from your nose?
She wipes on the couch

Ashamed to admit
I do not quickly clean it
instead say, "use your shirt"

Kim said...

My children are sick.
Hypochondriac husband,
Suddenly dying!

How can Mom be sick?
She is a superhuman!
Cure? Let's make a mess!

Flu bug, you vile beast
Share your joy with my neighbors.
They'll drive me to drink!

Stephanie said...

Son has the sniffles
"No big deal," I say, until
I get sniffles too

Anonymous said...

You are a genius
Bringing laughter to my day
All hail meanest mom


I hurt my damn knee
I do not remember how
Probably whiskey

Anonymous said...

Mother of triplets
Sick twenty four seven
For the first five years

Reese said...

Please don't cough on me
What? You want me to hold you?
And your brother, too?

Here, watch a cartoon
Please don't vomit on the couch
Oh, your ears hurt too?

No ice cream for you
Motrin. Its what's for breakfast
Please go back to school!

Jana said...

I am so impressed
With your creative genius
You guys rock my socks

Becca said...

There's snow on the ground.
Please stop that hacking cough.
Tomorrow is school.

(Oh, PS, my "word verification" word?? Varmit. That rocks.)

Anonymous said...

Haiku for a Hypochodriac

Yes, Brother was sick
Last weekend for two whole days.
No, you are not sick.

I made him jello.
You got to eat some as well.
I will not make more.

He laid on the couch.
You do not need to lay there.
For you are not sick.

You've played fine all day
Until I told you "pick up!"
I say it again.

I will make you cry.
Put this stinking junk away
Child, you are not sick!

Mariel said...

hubbie is a child
crying, moaning, bed-ridden
because of sore throat.

Anonymous said...

please sit here with me
and take a deep breath of germs
stay the whole night

with luck tomorrow
you'll be ill too and we can
share a cosy bed

Fantastic haiku's! I've been laughing or rather coughing my head off...

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

My head's killing me,
If you don't stop fighting now
I WILL throw this shoe.

What clever readers you have, my dear. I haven't written a Haiku since elementary school. It was fun to read all of them--I'm glad I showed up late for this post.

Charlotte said...

It isn't about sickness, but, having a preteen daughter, it is an affliction...

Puberty is here.
That most dreaded time of life.
Oh Lord, Give me strength.

Ilana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ilana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I happened upon your blog and really enjoy it. I am a mom of twins in Philly as well-- so if I see you at Costco feel free to tell me that I "have my hands full" and I will reply with the obligatory "Oh my God, I could never do THAT" and point at your children.
Anyway, I can no longer contain my urge to comment. I love a hiaku.

three weeks of sickness
now everybody is well
wait, mom's going down!


Maree said...

Ok, I loved YOUR poems, but the comments just spread the love even further!

Here's a haiku dedicated to my kids:

We have been moving.
Every muscle I have hurts.
Don't complain to me.

Lots of green boogers?
Go get yourself a kleenex.
Throw it away too.

Once I get some sleep
I promise to be less mean.
I might even cook.

Unknown said...

Cover your sneezes!
No matter how I love you
I want not your germs.

Cover your coughing!
Yes, dear, I will hold you but
I want not your germs.

Please use a tissue.
Make sure it goes in the trash.
I want not your germs.

How they smile sweetly,
Full of vim and vigor now
That I have their germs.

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