March 5, 2009

The School Dance

I haven't been to a school dance since my high school Prom, so of course I was elated when an invitation was sent home from my daughter's elementary school for the annual "family dance." While I was eager to show off my early 90s dance moves, I was more excited about the prospect of slow dancing to "Stairway to Heaven" with my neighbor down the street, who wears sweatpants and a wife beater year-round.

"Is your dad going to the dance?" I asked the man's daughter at the bus stop last week. I hoped that I didn't sound too desperate.

As it turned out, the neighbor and his tank top were no-shows, but fortunately, there were plenty of other dads to dance with. Unfortunately, all of my potential dance partners were lined up against the back wall of the gymnasium, texting and playing games on their I-Phones. I stomped my foot a few times but no one looked up to meet my wanton gaze.

"In case you missed the memo," my husband told me, "Parents aren't supposed to dance at these things. Only kids."

It was only then that I looked around the room and realized that except for a couple of unlucky sixth-grade girls who went through puberty before their friends, I was the tallest person on the dance floor.

I slouched to the corner. My disappointment was somewhat abated, however, by the sight of my son, who was jerking his arms and legs into unnatural poses. Either he was having a seizure or he was dancing.

I smiled broadly and clapped my hands. My husband covered his mouth with his hands and shuddered.

While getting ready for the family dance was stressful and time-consuming (it took FOREVER to decide what to wear and how to do my hair), at least I had the good sense to spend the afternoon teaching my children timeless dance moves like the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man, and the Robot.


Sorry about the video quality. It can be really dark (depending on your screen), but after looking at these dance moves that is probably a good thing.




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20 comments

Claudia said...

I would love to go to a school dance - I probably will embarrass my son as I love to dance (native South-Americans we just love to dance!). We do it at home every day :0)

Were you really not allowed to take on the dance floor with your husband and do like "Thriller" dance or something????

Love your blog and your sense of humor!

mom2manda said...

too funny. what's the roger rabbit? i had a dream recently and i was doing the running man thru most of it. maybe you and me are soul sistas. thanks for always making me laugh.

My Precious Peanut Designs said...

OMgosh! All I can say is thank you for starting my day off with a laugh! And I have to say that his dance moves reminded me of my 12 yr old...at least I now know this must be a "boy thing"!! Everytime my son dances I tell him he looks like he is having a full body seizure, LOL!! I'm sure that qualifies me for a mean mom award!!

Keep up the great work on the blog!! I always look forward to reading it!

Pam said...

That was simply awesome! He was tearin' up that dance floor!

Robin said...

PLEASE tell me that you have that video PERMANENTLY archived somewhere so it can be shown to potential girlfriends in the future!

HILARIOUS!!!!

Maree said...

Oh, I agree with Robin! LOVED IT!!!

Our school does a Mom/Son and a Dad/Daughter dance in May. I'm SO NOT a dancer and dread it every year, because my son is still young enough that he WANTS me to dance with him. They don't turn off any lights in our dance though. I like that idea! A family dance sounds like fun too--that doesn't exclude anyone....

Shannen&Makena said...

That was awesome! Thanks for the laugh, I needed that! (I'm bored on bed rest right now).

Shannen

www.whenwill3become4ormore.blogspot.com

The Beaver Bunch said...

That just totally made me pee my pants...just a squirt, but nonetheless, pee MY PANTS.

Hysterical.

The Mother said...

I can't believe your son let you go. Mine would have been MORTIFIED to see his mother at a dance.

And even more mortified if I actually danced.

Likes Chocolate said...

You go girl!

The Girl Next Door said...

Fastest way to get the kids in the car when they don't want to leave one of these parties? Grab a male neighbor and go out and dance like the 80's - bite your bottom lip, throw in a few John Travolta moves, and bam, those kids are in the car.

Sticky (not too) said...

Oh man! Your son may end up on the same Oprah show as mine -
"And then my mom..."

(my son dances like that too - whats UP with that?)

PS my word verification - 'soreho'...really?

Blythe said...

That was insanely entertaining.

At my charges' elementary school they have a yearly sock hop. It cracks. me. up. I LOVE when all the kids do the bunny hop!

Brooke said...

That was hilarious!!!! It reminds me of my brother trying to dance! lol

Cami said...

Unfortunately all we can see on the video is a little light up necklace wiggling and on occasion some glow in the dark shoe stripes and stripes down the side of his pants! I was SURE it was you flopping around out there....then I decided the jewelry selection, (glow in the dark) just wasn't you! How funny! It will be funnier when he's fifteen. He'll hate your guts! :)

Monica said...

LOL!! That was hilarious!

I have to go to several dances a year. The school always calls me to be a chaperon. I don't have a dancing bone in my body though. I dance a lot like your son. LOL So I keep OFF the dance floor!

Helen said...

LOL! Hilarious! At first I expected to see (based on your earlier description) a mini-Elaine but his moves were way funnier :)

Julie said...

I found your blog a few days ago after finding a link on Mormon Mommy Wars. I think we are soulmates! Thanks for being so witty and for making me remember to laugh more!

Cami said...

By the way...I have REALLY been craving all that junk food from the Sweet Tooth Fairy that you're offering in your giveaway....especially since I found the store itself (in Provo) and took a long look in the window...I'm still salivating! :)

MoMmA jOpLiN said...

I love it!!!! Kudos to you for instilling "awesomeness" in your children!