April 16, 2009

Early Intervention

Cameron is having a little trouble reaching his developmental milestones. Enter Early Intervention.

Last month, a flock of women from the county office descended on my house for an intake evaluation. At the conclusion of the assessment, my case worker told me that a physical therapist named Brad would be coming to my house each week.

“You are going to love Brad,” my caseworker said with a wink.
I took that to mean that Brad shaved his chest and would do push-ups in my living room if I asked.I thanked my caseworker and spent the next several days shopping for a pair of leg warmers to wear to Brad’s visit. I also devised an ingenious plan to get Brad to take his shirt off in between sets of sit-ups.

"Brad isn't a personal trainer," my husband reminded me. "And he's not coming to see you."

Cameron's first physical appointment was on Friday. All was well except for the fact that my caseworker failed to disclose a few pertinent facts about Brad:

1. He is old. At least 30.
2. He takes his job seriously.
3. He is not the sort of person who can be easily talked into undressing and doing push-ups in a stranger’s living room.

“I think YOU need Early Intervention,” my husband told me after I expressed my disappointment in Brad.

Instead of making me upset, my husband’s suggestion that I have the emotional maturity of a fourteen-year-old gave me pause for thought…and then panic. Maybe my son’s developmental delays aren't side effects to his exposure to Fifth Disease.

Maybe they're inherited.

47 comments

Jennifer said...

That was great. :) I'm sorry it was the wrong Brad.

Likes Chocolate said...

That is too funny! When the children do anything weird, crazy, or bad he always likes to blame me and my side of the family. He kind of forgets that the children are his offspring too.

Linney said...

that is great, i needed that :)

Sara said...

What is this world coming to when well-built men won't come into your living room and flex? Blame one more thing on the economy...

Christa @ Quintooples said...

HAHAHAHA!

All of my early interventionists have been women. :/

Love it.

~Christa
www.quintooples.com

Anita said...

Great story, and what a shame that "Brad" couldn't flex for you. I don't get your husband......LOL.

Julie said...

can't comment...still laughing...:)

CC said...

Darn Brad. He needs to lighten up. It's only sit-ups, bare chested. I think you are being totally mature about this.

AverageMom said...

I have to say, you have the most awesome outlook on life. I love your attitude, and your ability to laugh when lots of us would be crying. Keep it up!

Sara said...

lmao - Ohhh, I'm sorry that "Brad" was an imposter...... what nerve.... But on the other hand, little Cameron sure is a cutie-patootie!!!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

So sorry that things didn't "develop" like you hoped.

Mommy (That's my name, don't wear it out.) said...

LOL! Great post!

The Swisstensens said...

I like reading your blog so much, I click on your ads every time! You're welcome.

Kathy said...

It could be worse. Our Early Intervention PT was a very large lady with an even larger flatulence issue. On a good day, she would camp out in our downstairs bathroom for the first 20 minutes of the appointment.

Good luck with the therapy... I know it can be hard. :)

Gwen said...

Was he at least cute? I mean, he'll be coming back every week. Maybe he just wants to take things slow. :)

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Wow. Too bad he wasn't all you were hoping for.

I'm just me... said...

Too funny! I'm still trying to find a way to get my daughter's ear nose and throat doctor to take his shirt off. He's HOT!!!!

Kadi said...

A girl can dream...

Sants said...

Sorry about the Brad. My son has developmental delays secondary to traumatic birth injury and I never saw ONE therapist who looked remotely like Brad Pitt. But they were all nice, very good at their jobs and knew lots of stuff (who knew how many baby steps were involved in rolling over or sitting?)

It is a gift, really, to see that kind of progress. It all becomes a miracle.

Audrey said...

too funny! We have therapy outside the home in a big office so there is no chance of talking any of them out of there shirts. Except for swim therapy and our therapist need to do amoe extra push-ups.

Melynda King said...

Thanks for always making me laugh!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

That is so funny. I wish it was the Brad you were thinking of. At least I got to stare at him for a while after reading your post.

Chris in NY said...

Oh.my.god. that baby is cute! I'm quite sure you already know this, being his mother and all...but he's ADORABLE! I love that slightly clueless and confused look that all babies have. Like someone just told a joke and they totally don't get it.

Sweet Em said...

It was the first visit, don't give up hope.

Makayla said...

Might I point out that the Brad in the picture you posted was born in December of 1963, which makes him 15 years older than the "old" aged 30 Brad who came to your house. LOL.

April said...

i would be bummed about brad too :-/

3 Little Snaps said...

Ha too funny! Sounds like something I would do :)

Taylor Clan said...

At least you got "Brad." I got "Julie," the overachieving-25-year-old -Ph.D-from Wyoming. At least we didn't get "Helga."

Amy said...

too funny- sorry you didn't get to see your shirtless pushups!

Shannen&Makena said...

30 is old now? Hmmm.... I'm 30... Glad he is at least fun to look at!

lisha said...

Maybe he didn't want to come on too strong the first visit?

That is so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Melanie said...

I was gonna say the same thing as Makayla!!

Beth said...

Damn genes!

Queen Scarlett said...

You are brilliant. I want to watch your reality show.

Angi Snyder said...

We had early intervention coming for our son for 2 1/2 years. He got so familiar with it that one time he opened the door for his OT and greeted him with "Hi, you knucklehead". It was great. I hope your Brad, while not young and hot, at least has a sense of humor.

My Life Through My Thoughts said...

Awww. Can't the fact that Cameron is soooooooooo cute make up for the fact that he is not hitting his developmental milestones??

LOL on your blog today. You are my FAVORITE! So funny...

Liz said...

tee hee hee!

Babs said...

Thanks for the funny! I once had a stressful dream about work and they called the parametics and the emt was Brad Pitt from burn after reading and all that I kept thinking was "Great! I get Brad but I would have to get dorkie-Brad" I sooo feel your Disappointment.

Nancy Sabina said...

Ok, that was a very clever post and I was laughing. WAS. Until I saw your reference to Fifth disease and developmental delay. And I Googled my heart out. Was he exposed while you were pregnant or after he was born? I'm freakin' out here. Maybe you don't want to share too much personal info - but my son is about to turn 2 and isn't talking at all. He had Fifth Disease when he was 6 mo old. Could you share with me what leads you to suspect Fifth Disease is linked to a delay?
nancy dot sabina at gmail dot com

Nancy Sabina said...

OK, just found your post about your son and Fifth Disease. *Taking a deep breath* Sorry I flipped out on you there. I'm calling my pediatrician now and I promise to only flip out to her from now on.

Anonymous said...

I just love you blog! I'm 1 week late with my first baby and can't wait to be a "mean mom" too! Hey, can you sneak and take a covert photo of Brad for us?!
http://maleah.mrorex.com

brossettelewis said...

30s not old. 30 can be hot. I already have a mom(swim)suit complex because of you. I need a picture of Brad. I think your standards are set too high. EI caseworkers are HOTT.

Dana Carlin said...

Every time I see that picture of Cameron I just want to kiss his cute little face!! He is sooo stinking cute.
Ryan was with Early Intervention until he turned 3 (now he's with the Intermediate Unit) - and they were so great with him! I hope Brad turns out to be a good therapist (it's the least he can do for not looking like Brad Pitt)

Diva Ma said...

LOL! I Like you. I REALLY like you. Wish you lived close by!

Anonymous said...

Brad Pitt is 45!!! And still lookin' super sexy! Perhaps even more so the older he gets. Maybe you should raise your age bar of men to secretly lust after - or not so secretly. hehe. ;-) Happy hunting!

MommyAmy said...

LOL... I just about died reading this!!!

Especially having recently had our own interactions with EI. :P

Jillian Livingston said...

We can only daydream and nobody can take that away from us! I adore my husband and am very physically attracted to him but it is painful to think that I will never again feel that heart flutter felt at the initial attraction!