May 7, 2009

A Dream Deferred

A few days ago, my daughter received an invitation to a friend's birthday party in the mail. The party is being held at a children's hair salon in town. After being educated in the art of prepubescent hairstyling, each of the party guests will be treated to a beauty treatment of her choice: a manicure, a pedicure, a classy 'up-do,' or a free ear piercing. I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a box labeled "tattoo," because I would have checked it.

"Mani, pedi, or hairdo?" I asked my daughter, pencil in hand.
"I want my ears pierced!" she cried. The panic rose in her throat as she realized that my omission of her desired choice was not by accident.

I reminded my daughter of our agreement: she could get her ears pierced when she was eight. This proved to be small consolation to a six-year-old with a penchant for glittery hoops.

Camber: "I'm going to get my ears pierced anyway."
Me: "I'm not signing the permission slip."
Camber: "I'll sign your name when you're not looking."

I thought about telling my daughter that her plan was doomed to failure, but then I remembered who worked at the beauty salon--high school sophomores--and I was forced to recalculate her odds of success.

After forcing my daughter's hand and talking her (reluctantly) into a disgusting hairdo that she vows to rip out the moment the party ends, I took her shopping for a gift. All of my initial suggestions (snow cone maker, pottery wheel, albino frog) were scorned and soundly rejected. My daughter and I couldn't find anything we agreed upon until we reached the beauty aisle.

"Home waxing kit?" I proposed, holding up a tub of microwavable eyebrow wax.

My daughter studied the box before returning it to the shelf. "That's actually a good idea," she said slowly. "But I want to think about it for a couple of minutes."


Today's mom is Kristine and she is a hero. In addition to supporting her husband through an MBA program and full-time job, she has also been a foster mom for over a year to two adorable little kids. She finds out soon if she and her husband are going to be able to adopt them. My fingers are crossed!

With three kids under three in her home, Kristine's life is crazy...and loud. That's why LDS Quiet Books is sending Kristine's kids their very own quiet book! If you haven't seen these things, they're lifesavers. These fabric activity kits are great for music recitals, airplanes, church, doctors' offices...pretty much any place where you wish your child had an "off" button.

In addition, Kristine will also receive an eco-chic and appropriately worded reusable bag from Earth Saks.

Last but not least, Kristine will also be getting a one-year subscription to Eliza Magazine.

Kristine: What the world needs is a million more of you.

Have you seen this music video? If not, be prepared to cry (in a good way).


Anonymous said...

I think I love you! A home waxing kit - how appropriate for a salon party! lol And kudos for standing your ground on the ear piercing - frankly, I wasn't allowed to have mine done until I was 10 and then at a doctor's office AND wasn't allowed to wear anything but gold posts until I was like 11 or so. I may torture my daughter the same way!

Aunt MeMe/Mindy said...

What a post! Okay, first Camber SO CRACKS me up! What a powerful and strong willed little girl. Watch out Jana, she might be President some day! (LOL)!! I got my ears pierced when I was 4 and I let my daughter get hers pierced when she was 3. It was her decision. Every mom is different and every child is different. Good luck with this newest battle!

Kristine, YOU ARE AMAZING! I hope and pray that you are able to adopt those precious little children. What a blessing. I agree, the world needs a whole lot more women like you! Thank you for being you! Thank you Jana for recognizing this wonderful mom and showing her some love with her gifts!!

Jana, that video was incredible! What a tribute to all the woman and families out there that are struggling with infertility. My heart goes out to them all. Every woman who desires to be a mom deserves that chance. Here is a special prayer to them all that their dreams come true!

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Maybe instead of piercing Camber's ears, you could let her try out that home waxing kit and she how she likes the world of grown up beauty?

I love that you are highlighting some great moms that deserve to be applauded. Definitely we need more moms like Kristine around.

Becca said...

LOL for Camber. Tell her that she's lucky--my age limit is 12. (gasp!) Only my daughter has no ear lobes, but I haven't found a way to break that news to her yet.

I am hoping hoping hoping for Kristine that the adoptions come through.

Oh! And thank you for the music video. You're right: I cried.

Taylor Clan said...

You are a lax mother. I got my ears pierced at the ripe old age of 15! I used magnetic earrings until then. I also wore a headgear to school. I was so darn cool.

mamagale said...

Camber reminds me of our daughter--she wanted her ears pierced at four and then it was a perm at six and high heels the next year! All for naught as we made her wait until she was older. Her strong will grew into strength of character and now she is a college graduate and a beautiful young woman (inside and out). And she still has a mind of her own.

Thank you for the Mom spotlights--very uplifting!

Christa said...

The girls in my family were told that we had to wait until we were 18 to pierce our ears (that is while my parents were still married) because then our bodies would really be "ours" and not our parents. I was 16 when my step mom dragged me into the Merle Norman Store to get it done, kicking and screaming. I cried like a little tiny baby, and now that I'm an adult, I wish I hadn't gotten it done. I'm allergic to everything it seems, and all I ever wore was studs so what's the point? We have several (about 20) infants in our ward under age 1. I think several of them have their ears pierced, I know one of the moms asked me why my twins didn't have theirs done, I told her "because it's their body not mine and I'm not making that decision for them."
But Camber is hilarious, sounds like something my little Cora will say when she's her age.

The Mother said...

At six? SIX?

You are going to have your hands full when she is,oh, say 13.

LeMira said...

Thanks for posting that music video. As a mom that wants more children, but can't have them quite the way I'd hoped and as quickly as I'd hoped, this video makes me bawl like a baby. Good luck, Kristine, you deserve those kiddos!

Thanks for highlighting wonderful moms. It's so great to hear wonderful, uplifting stories that celebrate the good out there.

Jeanette said...

HAHAHAHA!!! A waxing kit?! That is awesome that she even considered it! :)

Does she realize how they pierce your ears? The first time my 6 year old (now 8 with pierced ears) asked to have her ears pierced, all I had to do was explain the actual piercing process. "They take this little gun and put the earing in it and then they hold it to your earlobe and shoot the earing through the skin to make the hole." I didn't have to be real graffic or horrible, just a simple matter of fact explanation! She decided to hold out until 8 after that! :)
Camber sounds like a pretty strong willed girl! Good luck to you!

Karen said...

I think it's hilarious that she wanted to sign her own name! My daughter tried that in 6th grade on a notice that she hadn't done her homework and she ended out with detention!

TheRapunzelGirl said...

i asked my mom if i could get my ears pierced when i was 6 because my best friend had teddy bear and unicorn earrings. she told me i had to wait until i was 13, and then promptly forgot.

when i turned 13 i went to the mall with a friend less than a week after my birthday and got them done(this was before permission slips were required for minors, all we had to have was the money).

when i got home my mom asked me what i had done. i reminded her that she'd told me i could get them done when i was 13. then when i was 16 i added a 3rd piercing myself in the bathroom (not reccommended), and at 18 i added two more. so i have a total of 5 earring holes . . . and i've usually got something in each of them.

funny what we think is important as kids, tho.

Kelly said...

I must be a bad mom then. My girls both got their ears peirced at the same time when one was 2 years old and other one was six months.

My mom pierced my ears when I was 1 since I had no hair and everyone kept mistaking me for a boy.

Anita said...

I've never seen that video, thanks for the warning, I cried my eyes out!

Your daughter is a riot. I will admit these types of parties are not my cup of tea. While little girls may love the urge to primp, I think it sends all the wrong messages. I can't help but think they are cute though, so I've got mixed feelings!
You are such a good mom!

I love you salute to other moms!

tracy said...

Oh... oh... oh. That is wrong on so many levels.. I don't have anything against someone having their kids ears pierced but to include it as part of a party option is so wrong. Because of exactly what happened to you.

It was sort of like when my son got invited to go by limo with 5 other boys for a birthday party to Hooters... and the boys were around 10. And I thought that was so odd. I let him go...but I dont know... it was odd. When I asked him how it went he said GREAT! I asked why and he said they had THE BEST curly fries.

Parents do odd things for kids parties....tracy

Alison said...

We have the same rule at our house...8 years old...but about a year ago I let my daughter actually watch another child get her ears pierced and scream and cry. Now, she is almost 8 and is not sure she wants it done (which is fine by me)!

Suzie said...

I have a feeling you are a well known for your gift giving choices. :) Too funny, your blog is awesome and the spotlights are wonderful to read.

mamacoreenie said...

What a character! She rocks. I wasn't allowed to get my ears pireced until I was 13 so Camber is lucky she only has to wait until eight! :)

And thanks for spotlighting awesome moms. As moms, we all have a story and face our share of challenge so having the support of other moms like you makes the challenges a little easier to handle.

An aside...don't know if this made your news but please keep all the firefighters working so hard in Santa Barbara, CA in your thoughts and prayers. My husband has been there since Tuesday and said it is intense. Our son is two and understands what his daddy does for a living and today asked if he could take one of his firetrucks to preschool, something he hasn't done before. I think he misses him. Me too.

Jeanna said...

That video killed me, and at the same time was exactly what I needed to be reminded of. My husband and I have been trying for over a year now to concieve our second child. That music video made me bawl because I realize all that I have in my beautiful little girl. She is my world and how blessed I am to be privledged to be her mother. What a blessing it is when the Lord shares with us his children, in whatever way they come into our lives.

Dayna said...

Who has a salon party at age SIX????

Is she grooming her kids for TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras?

I pity that mom when the girl reaches actual teenagehood.

Brenda said...

Aw, come on now! I let my little girl get her ears pierced a couple of weeks before she turned five. It was rather spontaneous; we were just walking through the mall and the next thing I knew I was letting her get her ears pierced! She was so brave and LOVED it. She felt like a princess. Plus every little girl in her preschool was jealous. Instant popularity. LOL.

Anonymous said...

I had to wait until I was 13 for ear piercing and shaving. Let's just say that my armpit hair didn't wait until I was 13. My parents finally relented on the shaving bit when my swim team friends kept picking on me for my hairy pits. No dice for the ear piercing.

Kamity said...

I couldn't get my ears pierced until I was 11, but my youngest sister got hers pierced earlier because Mom COULD NOT find clip-ons ANYWHERE.

It's weird that they would offer something permanent like ear-piercing at that party. I remember having some kind of salon party when I was 6 or 7, and we used massive quantities of hair spray to make our bangs defy gravity and wore bright pink and purple eyeshadow. I thought I looked so old - "like, nine!!!!"

Then Mom had to beg me to start wearing makeup at 14. Go figure. Camber may not have a hopeless girly attitude problem. :)

amysue said...

When my daughter turned 8 I took her to get her ears pierced and I brought along her two little brothers thinking it may be good for them to see what the piercing entails. I was hoping they would think it was too painful of a task and therefore not ever wanting to pierce any of their body parts. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. My daughter freaked out at first and decided against it, but then after a few tears decided to be tough. The boys were concerned at this point. The first ear was fine, the second ear not so good. The gun broke in the middle of the piercing and didn't quite do the job so the lady had to take out the earring and try again. My daughter screamed at the top of her lungs because it was painful and didn't want to do it again. There was blood, tears, and she even ran around the store until I could catch her. The boys were crying by this point scared to death. I caught my daughter and told her she had to do the other side and she would be fine in a few minutes. I had to hold her down, the boys were crying and yelling at me to let her go and by the time it was all over I 3 crying kids, and an audience full of wide eyed spectators. That night my boys told their father how horrible the experience was. I don't think I have to worry about my boys body piercing their parts!!!!!! True story!!!!!

jan said...

My dad made me wait until I was 12, but my mom didn't get hers done until she was 52! My 5 year-old daughter hasn't asked yet--I'm still trying to decide what my answer will be. My main rule is that she has to be old enough to take care of them all by herself.

Good luck with Camber!

Marci said...

Aww~Kristine is a very deserving winner~good for her!!

Maya said...

I had my ears pierced when I was a few months old and my family was bummed the doctors wouldn't do it in the delivery room. We're Brasilian and it's customary in Brasil for little girls to get their ears pierced in the delivery room. If I ever have a daughter I'll get her ears pierced as soon as the doctor allows to follow our cultural tradition, but I totally understand and respect why many moms want their daughters to wait.

I LOVE that Camber considered the waxing kit. Hahaha.

And Kristine, I hope you get to adopt your children soon :-)

sarahandmatt said...

I want you to know that your blog makes my day! Every couple of days, I forget to check your blog. Then, all of the sudden, it will occur to me that I haven't checked it in a couple of days. It's like Christmas! Thank you for sharing your funny life. Thanks for not being afraid to put your not-so-perfect life on display. The rest of us regular Moms really appreciate it.

Blessings of Health and Prosperity said...

Jana, you are indeed the meanest mom! Oh wait, that was my mom. I couldn't get my ears pierced til I was 12. Blessings, Celene

Gina said...


Anonymous said...

Love the blog. I couldn't help but notice in the hero part that "Gandhi" is misspelled on the tote bag.

I'm probably the only person who wouldn't carry a bag with a misspelled name, but it's strange that the company that produced the bag wouldn't check first.