September 1, 2009

Orchards

Taking your kids' pictures in an orchard is all the rage these days...and for good reason:


photo of cute kid by Wendy of Blue Lily Photography

Aren't they gorgeous? I coveted these photos taken in Utah until I remembered that there was an orchard just like the one in the above photographs just thirty minutes from my house in Philadelphia. And then it hit me. I didn't need a real photographer or a normal camera to take some awesome orchard pictures of my kids...I could do it myself!!!!!

Upon our arrival at the orchard, it became immediately obvious that there were some subtle but important differences between Wendy's orchard and mine; namely, in hers, the peaches and apples were still attached to the tree branches, while the ground in my orchard was filled with rotten fruit.

"Watch where you step!" I warned my entourage.
Ignoring the piles of decaying fruit was one thing; ignoring the insects attached to them was quite another.


"Please help me make it out alive. Please help me make it out alive," chanted Camber over and over again as she stepped over and around swarms of bees and yellow jackets.

Once we reached a clearing devoid of dying peaches, Cortlen and Kellen deemed it safe to remove their shirts.

"Put those back on!" I barked to my half-naked offspring. "I want to take some pictures!"

"I thought we were here to pick peaches," said Kellen, confused.

"No way," said Camber, ripping out her hair clip. "I am not taking any pictures."
"I have to use the bathroom," announced Kellen as he started hopping on one foot. "Really bad."

Our trip to the restroom ruined the magic. My sons could not be talked back into their shirts at any price and my daughter was on the brink of a meltdown over the bees and my refusal to buy her a can of soda from the orchard vending machine (don't hate on modern conveniences in inappropriate places.... that's how we roll in Philly).

I pouted the whole drive home.

Why does being like everyone else have to be so hard?

31 comments

Michelle said...

I am with you! I often have expectations on how thing will turn out perfect and when they don't I am upset. I guess with kids things don't go as planned.

Deanna said...

BWAHHH. HAAA! They only reason I can laugh like that is because that's the way it goes at our house....see, it's not so hard to be like every other 'diy' family. :)

Good luck with the next round.

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Exactly what happens when I try to take pictures of my own children. Next time, I'm sending their dad to do it, or maybe their Primary Teachers. Someone they are less likely to scowl at.

The Girl Next Door said...

My lovely twin offspring and I never ventured farther than the local Sears for planned portraits. I admire your insanity, um I mean courage. But I learned to keep the camera handy always and some of those sightseeing tours of Spain when we lived there so long ago? Those impromptu photos are priceless.

Stef said...

I know how you feel. I've decided this year I'm taking my own cutesy "school pictures" and getting prints made at Walmart. I'm done with the expensive and sometime horrendous school pictures. I have a sneaky feeling though that I'm in for it. My kids are 10 and 6 though and aren't camera shy so I'm hoping for the best. Note to self.... no orchards :)

Parenting Ink said...

I feel your pain! I've said to my kids before, "Don't you know I'm here so YOU can have fun!" My own comments kinda take all the fun out of it :)

Too Many Hats said...

LOL - I'm just glad to know that getting pics of multiple kids is just as hard for others as it is for me. You know misery loves company.

{Kiki} said...

sorry you didn't get your dream pictures. that is a great idea though. i might have to take lil' D to an orchard. he won't like the bees though. i hope your next trip out to take pictures of the kids is more successful. would like to know what you think about my latest blog post {over at Mama's in Time Out}. some people actually bring their kids, and babies, to this event. talk about Mean parents. Take care.
-Kiki

Jane said...

I wrote this post for you didn't I??? This is how I feel pretty much with EVERY planned event in my home. Let me tell you now and burst your bubble, but things don't go any different when they are teenagers either.

My daughter said it best once when things went awry on a recent vacation. She was giggling and I was close to pouting when she said "Mom, really this is funny. Just imagine you are watching a sitcom television show, wouldn't you be laughing at this" I had to admit she was right and began to giggle myself. The reason we all find the movie Family Vacation with Chevy Chase so funny is that we can ALL relate in someway to that movie.

Just remember that everyone else goes through these things too.

Anonymous said...

Next time hire the professional... haha

Jennifer said...

I'm with ya... not only can't I get smiling photos of my kids myself, studios can't do it either! My kids won't sit still and/or smile. period. I have a friend that frequently gets awesome photos of her kids on outings and they also take great photos in studio as well. I am constantly seething with envy!

Andrea said...

Well at least you didn't pay a photographer to experience that with you. There's always a bright side to things! Right?!?!

Alisha said...

I always have these expectations of my kids at things like that ... and it just never happens. haha.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

"Why does being like everyone else have to be so hard?"

You've just summed up the total distress of my life lately. We just moved to Connecticut and it seems like being "normal" is so much more important here. I miss my bohemian Seattle.

The Cranes said...

I'm tired of keeping up with the Joneses. Probably why I'm boycotting Disney and Facebook, just to name a couple.

My last great photos of my kids were Sears. I had no expectations and came out with a jackpot. I'm trying to schedule now with a professional photographer. My expectations are high considering the high price tag. I'm sure to be let down, don't you think?

Jo's girl said...

it's just like a professional to make it all look soooo easy. ;)
I have a friend who is a professional photographer and takes the most amazing photos! every one looks like a movie star under her lens.
I thought... hey I have a pretty decent camera why don't I just go out in the woods and snaps off a few? yeah out of 300 pictures taken I found 2 that weren't lame. and even then I'm pretty sure I just talked myself into liking them so the outing wasn't a complete loss.

I guess the heavy price tag is worth it after all. cause I sure as can't duplicate the skills.

Connie said...

Not to make you jealous, but our family of 23 had pictures taken in that very same orchard in Utah.
You thought yours was a fiasco! There was deer poop that we had to step around. We had an old broken down couch that we hauled there in the back of a pick-up truck. We all gathered around it as though it was a cherished member of the family.
Love the picture of the delicious peach...it is a peach, isn't it?

Christy said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it almost impossible to get a perfect picture of my three children. Sometimes I can manage to get a good one of just one of them, but never all three at the same time! I think it's a conspiracy! Good luck, though!

jwatermann said...

My brilliant idea was to have our family photo taken in the historic Union Station in Town. While my eldest child fussed and pulled at my shirt, constantly exposing one breast to a large crowd of onlookers the other couldn't stop fussily passing gass long enough to make a "happy face" and I kept yelling at the spouse to "smile like you mean it." After hours of shots we ended up getting the only decent one in front of a traveling exhibit, thus NO ONE can tell were we are in the picture. Memories. Love your blog.

www.melephantintheroom.com/blog

Dawn said...

I just wanted to let you know I gave you an award over on my blog. Come check it out!

Heidi said...

LOL!!! That is SO how my fam is too! You guys aren't that strange. Oh, and thanks for busting out the ghetto language at the end. Totally what got me laughing!

Sarah said...

I'm glad I read the whole thing. I almost ran right out to the nearest orchard for an adorable photo. : O

vanilla said...

So the photographer had props, a grip to carry equipment and rake the rotting fruit away. And what did you have? Your camera and three rambunctious kids. You did well indeed to get in and get out again. I applaud your intentions.

Ann said...

You should have sent the nanny to go, I think! LOL! You are WAY more adventerous than I!

Ashley Ann said...

hilarious!

The Efficient Parent said...

This is what makes kids so much fun!

Stan & Ash said...

hi i know you don't know me but i stubbled across your blog...where is this orcherd att??

Stan & Ash said...

the one in utah not philly sorry...

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