Aren't they gorgeous? I coveted these photos taken in Utah until I remembered that there was an orchard just like the one in the above photographs just thirty minutes from my house in Philadelphia. And then it hit me. I didn't need a real photographer or a normal camera to take some awesome orchard pictures of my kids...I could do it myself!!!!!
Upon our arrival at the orchard, it became immediately obvious that there were some subtle but important differences between Wendy's orchard and mine; namely, in hers, the peaches and apples were still attached to the tree branches, while the ground in my orchard was filled with rotten fruit.
"Watch where you step!" I warned my entourage.
Ignoring the piles of decaying fruit was one thing; ignoring the insects attached to them was quite another.
"Please help me make it out alive. Please help me make it out alive," chanted Camber over and over again as she stepped over and around swarms of bees and yellow jackets.
Once we reached a clearing devoid of dying peaches, Cortlen and Kellen deemed it safe to remove their shirts.
"Put those back on!" I barked to my half-naked offspring. "I want to take some pictures!"
"I thought we were here to pick peaches," said Kellen, confused.
"No way," said Camber, ripping out her hair clip. "I am not taking any pictures."
"I have to use the bathroom," announced Kellen as he started hopping on one foot. "Really bad."
Our trip to the restroom ruined the magic. My sons could not be talked back into their shirts at any price and my daughter was on the brink of a meltdown over the bees and my refusal to buy her a can of soda from the orchard vending machine (don't hate on modern conveniences in inappropriate places.... that's how we roll in Philly).
I pouted the whole drive home.
Why does being like everyone else have to be so hard?