May 14, 2010

Special Wedding Centerpieces


A few months ago, I asked my sister if there was anything that I could do to help her with her upcoming wedding. Specifically, I volunteered to pick out her wedding dress, cake, flowers, reception site, and plan her honeymoon.

"This is not your wedding," my husband has told me an annoying number of times.

"If you must do something," my sister said, "You can help assemble the centerpieces."

"Yuck," I told her. "I'd rather do your hair."

"No hair," she said firmly.

I told her that I had at my disposal two curling irons, a crimper, an assortment of rhinestone hair clips, and a lot of untapped creative energy.

"You need to learn how to do your own hair before you mess with the hair of anyone else," she told me.

Brides often get testy and say untrue things in the weeks leading up to their weddings.

"Table centerpieces or nothing," she repeated.

Because I love my sister and want her to give me any duplicate wedding gifts she receives, I agreed to assemble twelve.

Today, my sister sent me a picture of said mystery centerpieces. The subject line read "Aren't these adorable?!!!"



I am now in the midst of a moral crisis.

How can I make these things and feel good about myself?

Relieving my sister of an extra waffle maker or crystal bowl surely will restore some sense of personal dignity, but even the best wedding gift can't remove the stain of guilt by association.

Maybe she's just messing with me.

Maybe I'll broach the subject of hair one more time.

75 comments

The redhead said...

Congratulations to your sister on her upcoming nuptials. Now with that said I have to say I am utterly confused. Maybe it's because I'm old and not in the know, but since when did whales become a wedding theme decoration. I thought most people avoided anything whalish on their wedding day such as looking like a whale, smelling like a whale, acting like a whale, dancing like a whale, or blowing their top like a whale. These all seem like things to avoid, especially when video and photos are sure to document it. Eh, sorry.

Catherine Dabels said...

They are adorable in a elementary school aged "Come have a whale of a good time" birthday party theme kind if way.

To each their own. Just do it. It's what SHE wants.

Jen said...

Oh no ... I'm all for making the centerpieces. I'm sure your kids will enjoy doing this with you. Better yet, have a craft party with the neighborhood kids and tell them they can make 2 - one to give to their Mom so she can keep it on her table forever and ever and one for your sister so she can keep it on her table forever and ever.

The kids will TOTALLY go for it and your sister will be pleased. And you'll be able to tell your kids that THAT is their going away party. After the party, none of their friends or your neighbors are allowed to bother you for the rest of the summer. Bonus!

Tess said...

Looks like you get to play with rhinestones after all!

They are cute, but maybe I'm biased because I adore your sister.

craftyashley said...

Those centerpieces are just CLASSY! (for my three year olds' birthday party) Wow. I really hope she gets a vow-renewal ceremony (or a second marriage) ten years from now... she's gonna want a whale-free-wedding with real centerpieces... at some point.

Erica said...

Hehe... I think I made a similar craft with my preschool students a few years ago. They are cute, but definately a far cry from traditional centerpieces. Have fun crafting. And congrats to your sis!

Meg said...

Wow. Tell me this was a joke. Please tell me this was a joke. this is something I (might) make in my preschool class. Yikes. Hmmm, maybe there is some other nautical themed decor you could come up with. Maybe one with less pipe cleaner.

Sims Family said...

Wow! They are even from Oriental Trading Company. That's cheaper than the dollar store.

Xaleyn said...

I swear I sat here with my mouth agape long enough for it to go dry.

Gigi said...

I guess all I can say is "to each his own.....????"

Melanie Beth said...

wow...! why don't you suggest something like this instead: http://yoursanjuans.com/byway/The%20Whale%20Museum,%20inside.jpg

oops, maybe i meant something like this: http://www.reception-wedding.com/shell%20centerpiece.jpg

Beth said...

I'm glad other people have already said what I was thinking... Is this a wedding or a third birthday party?

I'm all for using beautiful animals for wedding color (can I reinforce: color) inspiration, but I'm not sure how often "whale" would come to mind. :/

Congrats to her, though!

Emily Heizer Photography said...

Those are ADORABLE! I can't wait to see the pictures from the wedding! yay!

Emily Heizer Photography said...

@Jen, comment #2... You're brilliant beyond words. I bow at your feet.

Vicki said...

You absolutely MUST post wedding photos! Congratulations to your sister and I hope she has a "whale" of a wedding. (Sorry! I couldn't resist).

Sara said...

tell me you're joking. please, please, say this is a joke. really? she can't be serious. these are NOT wedding decorations. please? you MUST talk her out of this!

Mark said...

Bottom line- who cares?! Yes, they are not most bride's taste for her wedding day. but hey...it will give you and her something to laugh at someday when she realizes that they are a little kooky...

Think of all of the laughs to come...that should be worth it!!

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

Who wants to bet that Sis makes everyone take a whale home so they have a special momento to keep FOREVER of the wonderful day?


:)

Anita Cramer Wells said...

please post a photo of the cake!! (or send it on to cakewrecks...)
just go with the theme and get some ambergris-scented lanterns or something. someday you'll all be laughing about it.

Christine said...

Reminds me of the bridesmaid dresses I made my sisters and friends wear. I thought they were the were perfect at the time...until I looked back years later.

They all looked like grandma's sofa! Sorry guys.

Jenglamgirl said...

"WHALE"(hell) NO!!!! CONGRATS TO YOUR SISTER. p.s. those whales are only allowed to be made at kindergarten...... HA! Jenn

Holly said...

Good for her for having the courage to do what she really wants. I look back at my wedding with a bit of regret for conforming to what other people wanted me to do. I love her spunk! Now, be a good sister and make the decorations :)

Malea said...

Ha Ha! I vote messing with you. Snarky is as snarky does. I think ya'll just were raised in the same great family;)!

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

Oh my. Is this for real? They are darling but for a wedding? Well, I guess that is why we all have our own.

reen said...

Oh! No seriouly, she needs to place them on the tables unassembled, then the guests can have the fun of making their own table decorations!!! Let everyone in on the fun ;P

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I'm going to suggest you start drinking NOW.

E.m.K. said...

If she really is doing a whale themed wedding and you really do have to make the centerpieces, I vote that you go for glass bowls. And by glass bowls, I mean fish bowls with LIVE GOLDFISH. They can be a wedding favor for children that behave very well during the reception. It brings all the joy of a carnival to what might be otherwise simply a ... unique ... reception. :) Good luck!

Lisa, An American Mom said...

If she has your sense of humor, maybe she is just messing with you?? I guess that is what I am hoping. These are sooo not something I'd have at my wedding! I mean, yes to each their own but wow... whales? Really?

Jen said...

@ e.m.k. - I agree with the goldfish in glass bowls. They make great hors d'oeuvres for the guests.

Heather said...

You are stinkin funny. I read you everyday. Gets better and better. You couldn't make this stuff up!

Chasey and Cash said...

Let's HOPE that she's pulling your leg!!

leslie said...

I think Jonah should be the officiator at the ceremony. He's religious and might have a lot of "insight" on whales. Might share something sis hadn't thought of!

Kristine said...

seriously? i think your sister rocks. too many brides try to impress other people and have everything be perfect and . . . . . blahblahblah.

I personally think it kicks trash. If you can't afford the Lion House Hotel or whatever it's called --- do what is fun and fits your personality!!! screw everybody else and their expectations and judgments :-) kinda like stickin it to the man

i had real centerpieces and i'd trade em in a second for something i actually wanted and for a day that the stress didn't suck the fun out of it

Michelle said...

hahaha!!! I think they are great.... for a kid's party! They just don't scream "eternal commitment" to me.

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I think you could surprise your sister by replacing the white pipe cleaners with some sparkly silver piping. You might also consider an alternative for the google eyes....just trying to think about something that would really take these whales to the next level.

Anonymous said...

Don't do it; for your sake, for her sake, for the sake of humanity.
SAVE THE WHALES!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

The bright side -- better than killer whales, their PR is not so good these days. Bet her wedding will be fun ( : Enjoy.

barefootquilter said...

Your sister is adopted right? So how did the two of you end up with identical DNA? You don't approve of her wedding whale theme but seriously, isn't that just the sort of crazy thing you'd do too?

My Mercurial Nature said...

LOL! Can't wait to hear how this comes out. Meanwhile...could you add rhinestones to the whales? ;-)
(psst, left an award for you on my blog)

sanjeet said...

Looks like you get to play with rhinestones after all!
post free classified ads

Lydiam Guier said...

Those centerpieces are so cute! Not for a wedding though, I immediately thought about my daughter's next birthday party, I might steal the idea.

You should make them for her anyways, she likes them, and that's all that counts. Sounds like it will be a fun informal wedding!

Best wishes!
Lydiam
www.bittenbymotherhood.com

Anonymous said...

Wow...that's all I can say...I'm at a loss...WOW

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't want this theme but watch it become like this hot new trend! What are the colors for the bridesmaid dresses? I'd do the whales in the same colors with matching rhinestones...

Heather said...

They are cute. Does she happen to be having a nautical theme? Is she the type to mess with you? I can't wait for the update.
P.S. This post was hilarious.

Sexy Naptime said...

make them all a tad cross-eyed

kbreints said...

Ha! I think that you should make them... just to prove a point.

Vicky said...

Yeh, I would choose centerpieces over hair any day, however...whale flowerpots would not be my typical choice. Couldn't you convince her of something else more ordinary? Like flowers, for instance? Come on, Jana, where's your 'sister seniority'? Did you lose it 'out at sea'???

Mal said...

The only time whales are adorable is when they're in their natural habitat--without freaky grins on their faces.

Anonymous said...

Sisters can be very difficult. I offered to name my sisters twins and even came up with all sorts of creative possibilities. In the end she said she didn''t need my help after all. What kind of devotion is that?

christine said...

W.o.w.

Is she going to send you some glitter glue?

Donna said...

The nice thing about those centerpieces is your kids can whip them out in one afternoon. You're free! Please take lots of photos: the cake, the other decorations, and the bride.

Carolyn said...

I am sure that all of your readers will agree with me on this one (and remember we are helping you earn those big sponser bucks right??)--PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post LOTS and LOTS of photos from this wedding, and tell lots of stories from it--perhaps you could do a whole week theme of it or something!!!

I just keep thinking when I read you blog that there are many nice people out there who come into your life for one purpose and one purpose alone--to give you good material! And God bless them!

The Queen said...

um.. sorry.. I hate them.. tell her I hate them.. tell her I ain't comin to the wedding if I have to look at em..

Oh wait.. I wasn't invited..

my bad.

Brie said...

DO NOT GET THESE. I am serious. I just ordered them for my son's birthday party craft. They are perfect for a 3 year old's party but NOT for a wedding. They are tiny and the pot is made out of chipboard. You could always get the supplies yourself and make something that looks like that, but don't order them from Oriental.

Brittney said...

While I think it is fantastic that she is willing to do what she wants I think the whale thing is going a little too far.

Well, all I can say is best of luck to your sister and best of luck to you as you try to figure out how to get yourself out of this situation...

jeleighbean said...

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...
I think you could surprise your sister by replacing the white pipe cleaners with some sparkly silver piping. You might also consider an alternative for the google eyes....just trying to think about something that would really take these whales to the next level.

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Oh man, I think Mandy is on to something here. I am picturing a googly eyed whale with bushy eyebrows, another one with sharp, V shaped eyebrows (angry whale), maybe one sticking his tongue out (you know, for the kid's table). She didn't say you couldn't add your own flair to them...haha!
PLEASE take lots 'n lots of pics of her wedding. I'm starting a paper chain countdown 'til the day starting now! :)

Shaken Mama said...

I think she wants you to do her hair with white pipe cleaners, that would be HOT! And so much less expensive than extensions.

And re: the goldfish in bowls, that SEEMS like a good idea, until you go (like me) to a wedding where the fish start dying during the reception, and it takes at least a half dozen groomsmen to promptly dispose of the dead fish before all the flower girls start getting upet.

Madeline said...

Hmmmm, I'm guessing she's not going to budge. So maybe you can use some metallic paint and add Martha Stewart glitter which is very fine and beautiful. You can definitely do something with the eyes and blow hole, too.
She's quite a trip, that sister of yours.

[Stacia] said...

Ok, now I just think you're making all this wedding stuff up. Seriously? Terra Cotta whales? You'll have to post pictures for me to believe it! :)

Grainne said...

I love them! I hope your sister really enjoys the day! :)

Gabrielle Mappone said...

I was having lunch today with one of my students and I told her about your blog and the wedding of the year. I explained your sister as being 'green'. She asked "as in plant a tree or hug one?"...that gave me the idea...can't you convince your sister to get potted plants or trees for her centerpieces? Or even a bunch of small ones grouped together then people can take them home too. Still green and earthy and she can put whale stickers on the pots!

Brittney said...

So not to be obnoxious and comment twice but I was babysitting last night and as I chased after the nearly year old baby who has rockets on his back when he crawls I noticed something.

Whales on his blanket. Whales on his bib. Whales on his toy box.

Best of luck once again.

The Payne Family said...

I'm pretty sure that anything with pipe cleaners and googly eyes should be banned as a wedding center piece. Or just banned from weddings in general. Though that being said my 3 year old saw it and now wants on. That should tell you something.

Kathy said...

She has to be messin with you!! She CAN't be serious!!

Kari said...

You're lying....right?!

Joanna Wilson said...

are you kidding? those are the BEST centerpieces I have ever seen! go for it girl

Madeline said...

I'm planning my daughter's 5th birthday party and I found these at Oriental Trading...

http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/browse/processRequest.do?demandPrefix=12&sku=36/2058&prodCatId=388733&mode=Browsing&erec=55&sp=true&Ntk=all&Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&N=388733&tabId=1&requestURI=processProductsCatalog&sd=Jonah+And+The+Whale+Centerpiece

wedding stuff said...

Have fun crafting. And congrats to your sis!

Tracey said...

Is it April Fool's Day??? ;-P

Angie said...

But you don't want her telling people you made those!! And I don't want to be mean but those are ATROCIOUS!

Congrats to your sis for getting engaged and planning her wedding, but she can't actually want those things. Is it against your religion to do something floral? Is this an actual theme to the wedding!

Angela Noelle of Striking Keys said...

It has to be a joke.

I wouldn't do it.

Do you want thanked in a speech for the centrepieces?

Chasing Molly said...

Sisters, weddings, skinny jeans and us older aged gals - I hear you sister!

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